Riding the emotional roller coaster

I'm still riding the roller coaster of emotions.  The dips are coming less frequently but they still come.  I saw my primary care doctor yesterday and asked for something I could take for anxiety as needed just until I see the oncologist.  I'm sure she will address the problem then.

I was lucky enough to get a referral to Ron's oncologist and will see her on the 20th.  I will see the lung doctor on the 19th to get the results of the PET scan.  So everything is lining up pretty well.  I also found out that we will not have to make the hour long drive for treatment but we will be able to go to the Cancer center where my lung doctor is located.  That's only a 20 minute drive from here and we don't have to drive the interstate. 

The pulmonoligist called me on Monday to see how I'm doing.  He is still shocked by the pathology report and said part of him doesn't want to believe it.  I asked if nothing shows up from the PET scan would he still proceed for further confirmation.  I didn't want to just dismiss it.  He said yes, he would schedule a biopsy.  I wonder why we don't go straight to a biopsy but I'm sure that is a Medicare and insurance thing.  I think I am just anxious to get started doing whatever I need to do.  

Side note.  Ron and I came home this afternoon and our electricity had been shut off.  We assumed there was a power outage but found out that the electric company had shut it off.  Seems someone called the wrong number (us) and tried to schedule turning on the electricity I guess for a new account.  We didn't get the call and they didn't leave a message.  Because we didn't call them they cancel the request for power.  That was in November.  Because they didn't know we had power it didn't get caught until now.  So they shut if off.  What makes it really interesting is that I had continued to pay them every month even though I noticed I wasn't getting a paper bill anymore.  I have our electricity on a fixed amount so I knew what to pay and just kept paying it.  Anyway, they weren't quite sure how to handle the situation.  I would say the billing department needs a little more training.  They sure accepted payment for a canceled account without any problem.  But all ended well.  They had to give me a new account number and now I'm a new customer.  After paying the bill for this address for 50 years this September! Oh well!

Well, trying to continue living as usual when nothing is as usual is hard.  But I'm so lucky to have my daughters and Ron to support me through this.  I have no illusions of living forever but I'm just not ready to go just yet.  I'm a person who wants to know I've left nothing unfinished but now I wonder if we are ever finished.