One thing I haven't shared is the miraculous changes happening with my brother. After a discussion with his psychiatrist changes were made to his medications and we have been slowly reducing his clinozapam and have eliminated his buspirone. There was almost an instant change, like a thin veil had been lifted and underneath is the brother I remember. He is thinking clearly and his constant phone calls have stopped. He doesn't lose his train of thought and just overall is AMAZINGLY better. Of course he still requires assistance with meals and grocery shopping but the improvement is miraculous. I can't even describe how much this has helped Ron and I. I feel so much more hopeful for the future. We will continue to monitor him and if we see an increase in anxiety we will quickly report it to his doctor. I don't think he was initially over medicated because his symptoms at that time were so severe it required that level of sedation. But he has improved and as long as his symptoms remain controlled it is best to use as little medication as possible. We have been through hell for the past 10 years. We can finally breathe again.
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
Monday, January 11, 2021
On the 6th of January I received my first dose of the Moderna vaccine. I was so excited to get it I had not slept but a few hours the night before. So about 11:00 I fell asleep but awoke to find the Capitol building under seige. I was taken back not sure what was happening but I never once felt shocked. Nothing is shocking that relates to Donald Trump. He prepares you for anything through his rhetoric. The only people who seem to have been surprised by Wednesday's insurrection were the Capitol police. God only knows why as they were being offered assistance days before the event.
I know there are conflicting ideas as to where we go from here. Do we impeach 45 even if no action is taken during the first 100 days of Biden's administration. Knowing how short memories are I wonder if there would even be a chance of conviction. Part of me believes there must be some consequence for his actions. No one should ever be above the law. Though we see that is not the case when one has the privileges afforded by race and wealth. It is played out in courts every day.
Something else that has come to mind is the need for every American to hold a mirror to their own face. We have to ask ourselves if we have contributed to the divide by engaging in verbal combat with individuals who do not share our political views. I left social media because the attacks from both sides were becoming more and more hostile. I realized that no ones views were going to be swayed by a post on Facebook no matter how articulate or logical you think it sounds.
My biggest concern of all is how do we combat disinformation? The first time the idea of "alternative facts" was introduced I thought we were doomed. Now, no amount of data, research, fact will persuade someone from what they "want" to believe. Technology and the information highway may be the biggest enemy of democracy. It is not an external threat I fear will bring the country down. The seeds of distrust were planted and cultivated and here we are. People willing to destroy the very thing they believe to have been stolen from them.
Sunday, December 20, 2020
I don't know where the past month has gone. We have been completely overwhelmed by my brother's needs I haven't had time to think about anything. We had reached a crossroads and I was beginning to accept the fact that we just couldn't continue to care for him.
Mike was having difficulty taking his medications appropriately. He was calling us constantly...every 5 minutes to ask what day it was or what time it was. Other times he would sleep past his med time. We would watch the clock and if we didn't hear from him would call and wake him up. He'd be so out of it we had to drive to his condo to make sure he took the right medication. In addition, he was acting out and getting very aggressive towards me.
But after a consultation with his psychiatrist a plan was made to reduce some of his meds. It has been amazing how quickly things are beginning to change. He isn't calling constantly. He can maintain a train of thought. His walking hasn't improved but I'm still hopeful. Just these small changes have revived Ron and I. I have regained some hope that things can get better. Maybe we still have a little more time before Mike will have to go to a residential program. Or we will be forced to move closer to him.
I have an opportunity to get the Covid vaccine tomorrow. My former boss called me and they are currently administering the vaccine to the hospital staff. She said they "may" have some extra doses and offered it to me. So tomorrow I have to be ready to go in if they call. Otherwise Ron. Mike and I will be in the 2nd round of vaccine administration. Oklahoma also moved teachers and support staff to the 2nd tier. I'm so happy about that. I worry about my daughters all the time.
Christmas will just be the 3 of us. We did the same for Thanksgiving. Since Oklahoma is now #1 in the number of cases per capita it is apparent most Oklahoman's are not following safety precautions. Of course with our governor it's now wonder. A lot more people will die needlessly.
Hope everyone has a merry Christmas and here is to a better New Year!
Friday, November 20, 2020
Every day you think the craziness can't get any worse and then it DOES! I am at the point that I blame the entire GOP for not putting an end to this stupidity but I think the whole party is beyond redemption at this point. Just by the fact that all this drama will result in more lives lost to COVID proves to me that they absolutely put party before human lives.
Monday, November 16, 2020
Couldn't ask for a more beautiful day. There is a mild breeze and temperatures in the 70's. It was like this yesterday so my daughter Julie was able to come over and visit in the backyard with masks and social distancing. I miss spending time with my daughters. It's the hardest thing about this pandemic.
Just wondering how many of you will be getting the vaccine when it is available. I plan to get it as soon as I can. I figure if it takes years to experience any side effects I probably will be long gone anyway. Most of my Republican friends have said they will not take the vaccine.
Mike sees his heart doctor today. I think he is getting the results of his stress test. They aren't allowing visitors to accompany patients but we have an exception due to Mike's cognitive issues. He would never find the doctor's office on his own and certainly wouldn't understand anything she tells him. Usually only one of us is allowed to go with him and Mike always wants Ron to go with him. (I guess it's a man thing)
I feel like I've been busy finishing some projects but I have so many more to do that I need to do. I have a box full of gnome bodies that I need to finish. I have a painting I need to finish. I wonder when I'm going to get it all done.
I've been doing some online Christmas shopping but I don't intend to do much. It's going to be gift cards this year for the most part. I have purchased some things for the little girls but not much. Ron hasn't given me any hints on anything he wants so I may go rogue!
Sunday, November 8, 2020
It has taken two weeks to get our power back after the Oct. 26 ice storm. You never appreciate all your modern conveniences until they are gone. We were so lucky the weather warmed up in a hurry and we weren't freezing at night. Also got lucky that Mike never lost power in his condo.
Glad the election is over and we have a new President but I know we haven't heard the last of Trump. He will not go quietly.
Thursday, October 8, 2020
I'm still painting. Just keeping the ole noggin from thinking and dwelling on the mess we have in this country. Where else does the medical community and the scientists have to fight with the leader of the country just to convey the seriousness of a pandemic? Mind boggling to say the least. But I'm seriously counting the days until the election!
In the meantime.....
Nothing fancy but kind of fun to paint. I have no idea where I'm going to put all of these pictures.