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Don't know where the time has gone but again life just gets in the way at times.
Mike had to wear a heart monitor for a couple of days and the result was that his heart rate drops significantly during the night and daytime hours. During the day it drops as low as 28. Hence he is scheduled for a pacemaker July 8th. He knows about it but not the date as of yet. We will keep that information from him until the 7th. Less time for him to become anxious. He's anxious enough just knowing about it. He imagines all kind of restrictions which are few. He can only raise his arms less than 90 degrees for a couple of weeks. That's it! But he thinks he can't shower among other imaginary restrictions. But hey, that's the way the ball rolls for now. The cardiologist said that otherwise he is in excellent health and could easily live another 20 years with a pacemaker.
Now you'd think my reaction to that news would be one of elation. But like so many caregivers the fear is always that a caregiver will not outlive their dependent. I hate to admit but a part of me thought why do this? Let him slip away one night in his sleep. But of course that was a fleeting thought brought about from constant worry about what his future looks like. So we will proceed!
Right after we saw the cardiologist Mike said, "I can just come live with you and Ron." I said "no". So hard to say that but I know it would never work out. My lifespan would be cut in half. He then said, "That's ok, Ron will just move in with me and take care of me." Again, I said "no". Then he asked if I resent him. I said, "Sometimes...I resent your illness. But I love you."
These conversations are so hard. I want to be honest with him while protecting him at the same time. Not always easy. The uncertainty of our healthcare system and lack of help for the aging, mental health and healthcare in general makes the future just unpredictable. I really am living my life one day at a time. I can't plan any further that the next minute.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and got the results of my recent CAT scan. Everything looked great. Great improvement. In fact so great I don't have to see her anymore since my lung doctor is following up with regular scans. I was very pleased. And the only change I have made in treatment is the cannabis oil. My lungs are so much clearer now it's amazing. My energy is increasing every day. I couldn't be happier.
Tuesday I get to pick up little miss at daycare and we are going to the museum to look at dinosaur bones. I think I'll take her for a hamburger afterwards. I can't wait. I enjoy the little stinker so much!
Ron is seeing a new neurologist this morning. He just hasn't been happy with his current medication and wants to see if this doctor will have any new suggestions.
Today is my brother Mike's 71st birthday. We took him out last night for a birthday dinner. He's doing good. One day at a time is what I tell him every day. But all in all he's doing well.
We actually had more rain last night. I don't think we will dry out in Oklahoma until August. We can just sit outside and watch the grass grow. Of course I know by the end of the summer we will be praying for rain so I'd better not complain.
Last week we were dog sitting Ellie's sister Winnie. It went pretty well but was a challenge with all the rain we've been having. My floors were horrible. Finally got everything clean yesterday.
Today I had another CT scan with contrast. Fortunately the IV was started on the first stick and no one had to go get an ultrasound machine to find a vein. I think all the water I've been drinking helped a lot....plumped up those veins. I see the oncologist on Thursday to get the results.
I still haven't gotten the results of the stomach biopsy but I'm sure if it had been bad someone would have called by now. I'm giving the office a call tomorrow though.
I must say that all this rain sure has made the flowers grow. Our backyard is really in bloom.
I had my favorite visitor over Saturday for a play date. She looked like she had grown a foot in just the past two weeks. She had us hopping for five hours playing catch in the backyard and blowing bubbles. She is one busy bee. I was glad I was feeling pretty good although Ron had to help keep her entertained because I couldn't keep up. Friday night we are taking her to see The Life of Pets II. I think I'm more excited to see it than Piper. I thought the first movie was darling.
For some reason I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. Maybe 3 hours total so I'm just exhausted tonight. I'm heading to bed.
I've been taking CBD oil now for about 6 weeks. I was put on a low and slow dosage plan. I've settled now at 13 drops (under the tongue) twice a day. I can't say I have experienced any miraculous cure of anything but I can say that I'm beginning to notice a decrease of some symptoms.
1. Mucus production is lower. It is easier to clear my lungs now than before I started.
2. Energy level is beginning to improve. Yesterday was one of the better days that I've had in quite a while.
3. I have a knee that is in need of a joint replacement. I'm walking better now after starting the oil.
One of the conditions that there has been reported improvement is anxiety. Since I don't really suffer from anxiety I can't weigh in on whether it helps.
I had just reached a place where I felt I had nothing to lose in trying it. I did some research before I decided on which one to try. I'm taking HempWorx because it is only one of a few that are actually inspected for purity. There are currently no government regulations on cbd oil and every Tom, Dick and Harry is setting up shop to sell it. I get it from a physician's assistant who became interested after taking it herself. She had a lung condition that had reduced her lung capacity by 75%. After 9 months she had improved it to 90%.
So I figured why not try it. I have been in constant contact with the PA during the whole process and she has guided me as to when to increase the dosage and when to back down. You are required to drink half your body weight in ounces of water per day. This has been good for me in general because I've never been too good about getting enough water.
I'll let you know what I experience as I go along.
Fatigue is my biggest problem lately. I get up and dressed about every other day now. I have enough energy to navigate what I need to do one day and then I need the next to recover. Yesterday I cooked my brother's weekly meals and today I recovered. I've made a note to talk to the doctor about this new development.
Ellie's sister is staying with us for a week. Ellie is having a hard time sharing Ron and I with her. She finally allowed Winnie to sit in our laps this evening but it took her all day to concede. She is definitely an only dog.
I forgot to mention I have a CT scan on the 11th and the the oncologist again on the 13th. I hope I have the results of the stomach biopsy by then. Still no word from them.
Two years ago my brother's identity was stolen. Someone used his social security number to order $2300 worth of I-phones over the telephone. They were delivered to my brother's old address and picked up by the thief. (Not a very good practice on T-Mobiles part) We sent them the police report but they continue to turn it over to collection agencies. I put a hold on Mike's credit so no one could open another account in his name but the collection agencies still call. Tomorrow I'm going to visit T-Mobile and tell them they are billing a schizophrenic and good luck with collecting. I'm getting sick of the bullying. Mike's not responsible for any debt according to the police. So I'm giving the last a final copy of the police report to them and I'll throw in some advice for free. STOP opening accounts over the phone...................... !!
Wow we have been busy. Lots of doctor appointments. Scheduled and then rescheduled procedures. The last lung wash and biopsy had to be canceled. My hand had started hurting the Friday before the procedure and by the time I got to the hospital on Monday it was really hurting. I had purchased a splint and had made an appointment with the hand specialist who removed thumb joints in my and 20 years ago. I couldn't get in for another week so I thought I would be able to get the biopsy done. But by the time I got in the operating room I just broke down in tears. The doctor said nope not doing this today but sent me straight to the ER. They exrayed my hand but didn't see anything. Put hand in a sling, called hand doctor and got an appointment for the next day. Thank goodness because by the time I got to see him my hand was 3 times normal size and red as a beet all the way to my shoulder. Pain was unbearable..... Turned out to be cellulitis. So I was on two antibiotics for 2 weeks and it took a month to recover.
So 2 weeks ago I had a lung wash and biopsy. Results were good. I also had an endoscopy and biopsy in my stomach. Don't have results because their computers are down. I see the infectious disease doctor in July.
The highlight of all this is that my childhood friend from Arizona came to visit along with her husband. It was a short stay but we had a good time. I was a bit under the weather because of the 2 procedures that week but I pushed through. I've reached the point where my stamina is low and I'm exhausted by 4:00 pm each day. Still coughing all day and wheezing. It just wears me out. My official diagnosis is COPD. Dr. D. is still trying to get it under control but Ron and I have decided that after all the tests and the appointment with Infection Disease if we don't have a new game plan we want to go to Denver to the Jewish Health Center. They are world re-known for the treatment of lung disease .
The new freezer has been a game changer for preparing my brother's meals. I've been able to make several entrees and freeze them plus purchase in greater quantities. It takes half the time to prepare the meals as in the past. The only problem is that with all the rain we've had the backyard was a swamp. Hard to get to the building. So Ron made me a paver path and it is GREAT! I love it!
Now no more muddy feet when it rains. All we need now is to put a cover over the path. ha ha way too expensive. I can carry an umbrella.
Mike is doing pretty good. He is having a birthday on the 14th. He'll be 71 years young as he says. His physical health is still great. Anxiety is up and down and he's as persistent as ever. My niece is now cleaning his condo every week as it just got to be too much for me. He enjoys having her company and its working out good for both of them.
Ron is now 6 years cancer free. We are so blessed!
