We had another snow fall the other night, only about 2 inches.  There is still quite a bit of snow in the yards but the streets are clear now.  I haven't seen this much snow in Oklahoma since I was a kid.  Very pretty!

My daughter Julie is having a New Year's Eve party tonight and Ron and I will go for a little while but I don't do the midnight thing anymore. 

Anyone have any New Year's Resolutions?  I haven't given it much thought.  I just want to try to do the best I can in whatever I do.  That's about as much of a resolution as I have made. 

I do hope that 2010 is a happy, propsperous and healthy year for all.  Happy New Year!

The last week of vacation

It's the last week of my vacation.  I've rather enjoyed being snowed in.  It gave me an excuse to be a complete slug.  I am going to try and be a little more productive today though. 

Ron and I went to see Avitar last night.  I learned something I should have known.  If you are blind in one eye you can't see 3-D.  It just looked normal "to me" anyway.  The movie was good, kind of an animated science fiction version of the Indian wars.  There were so many political messages I was afraid it would freak Ron out.  (He hates movies that try to teach him something)  The conservation message was loud and clear complete with "tree huggers" and we Americans were taking over the alien's land for a precious mineral (rock) for the big corporations.  Sound familiar?  Ron surprised me and didn't get overly offended but some how he made a reference to Tarzan and women's lib.  I must have missed that part!  Anyway, it was fun and we had a good time.

Did anyone get a Snuggie for Christmas?  I just don't get it!  Isn't a Snuggie like wearing your coat backwards?  They show people sitting at football games wearing snuggies.  What about their back ends?  Would you need to wear two of them?  One on the back and one for the front? 

Well, another Christmas has come to pass.  The girls made it over yesterday for dinner along with Ron and my brother.  We had a good day.  The snow is slowly melting but looks like it will be around for awhile.  I'm moving slow today.  I'm not sure if I'll even try to get out today.  The streets still don't look very good.  I don't want to get stuck somewhere and there are always things to do around the house to stay busy.

I finally got on facebook.  My daughters have tried to get me on it but I just wasn't that interested.  I'm still not sure what I'm doing yet and not sure if I'm even interested.  I'm not sure just what the purpose of it is.  People telling you what they are doing all day.....????  Or is that twitter?  I'm confused.

Merry Christmas

The sun is out but the drifts have blocked the front and back doors.  It's really pretty outside but it sure is cold.  There were lots of stranded motorists last night but they set up shelters around town.  My family will try to get over this afternoon if the roads are good enough to travel on.  This is the first white Christmas I think I've ever had.  Beautiful!

always a day late

Well, the blizzard has finally hit Oklahoma.  We are usually a day late and a dollar short but here we are.  The wind is gusting at 50 miles per hour and so far we've had only sleet but it is supposed to turn to snow this afternoon.  This will require some last minute holiday changes to our itenerary.  Our church service has been canceled so we will be staying home.  I guess it will just be Ron and myself tonight but the girls and their spouses are coming over tomorrow if the roads are good.  This may be the first white Christmas I've ever experienced.  I don't remember any snow when I was a kid.

Last night we had a gathering at my daughter's house and we had a lot of fun.  Games, food, good company, it doesn't get any better than that.  I was sorry Ron couldn't be with us but that's how life goes sometimes.  He gets off work at 3:00 today so he will join us then.

Well, I hope everyone is having a safe and happy holiday.  Merry Christmas!

Holiday Expectations

It's hard to keep our expectations for the holidays in check at times.  We all dream of Norman Rockwell images of families around the holiday table, everyone smiling and all the dreams of the season coming to fruition.  However, if we put too much of our energy into our fantasies we may set ourselves up for a let down.  I have to admit I have always had a little trouble in this area.  I want everyone's Christmas wish to be fulfilled and I put way too much pressure on myself to meet those expectations.  This year has been different, the events of the past year have changed me.  I don't know whether the change is temporary or permanent or maybe just the result of a family in transition.  There are empty chairs at the holiday table and family members are shifting their roles to fill the space.  In spite of the obvious sadness of losing someone as dear as my mother I am not feeling the stress of fulfilling everyone's expectations.  I'm just a little numb this year.  There are so many things I understand now about my parents.  How they were moved to tears by a song or how nostalgic they became when they looked at pictures of loved ones no longer with us.  I thought I understood their feelings but I really didn't until now.  It is so different now being the "oldest" in the family.  I can't really explain it.  I hope it is a position I finally become accustomed to and I'm sure I will in time. 

We are having a friends & family get to gether this evening.  Ron won't be able to attend since he has to work but since nothing feels normal this year anyway I'm just going with the flow.   Sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break and go with the feelings.  This is my year to sit back and just be quiet.  (If you knew me you'd know how totally OUT OF CHARACTER that is!  But I'll regroup this year and come back full force in 2010.

My feet haven't touched the ground since Friday, I've been on the go every day since.  My daughter and I have been working on a family dvd of old family pictures to give as a Christmas gifte  We finally finished it last night and the first time we played it all the way through we both just started bawling!  Very nostalgic with grandparents now gone.  But I think it will be a great keepsake for the family.

I think I can have a breather today.  My list is much shorter for today.  I still have to pick up a prescription, buy some stamps and go to the grocery store for some last minute items but that's not too bad!  At least we don't have 2 feet of snow to deal with.  It is turning cold today but as long as the roads are clear I'm good to go.

Hope everyone has a glorious Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Odds and Ends

My day didn't start off on an excellent note.  I cut the heck out of the bottom of my foot this morning.  Seems I missed a piece of glass last night when I swept up the glass I dropped on the kitchen floor.  But, not to worry, I FOUND IT!    So, I'm limping around today but hopefully the bleeding will stop soon.  Just kidding......

Yesterday our local paper called and told me I won the annual Christmas Story Contest.  A photographer came out to take my picture for the paper.  This was quite an accomplishment on his part because I'd rather have a tonsilectomy than get my picture taken.  But.....I was gracious and didn't put up much resistance.  He left and then called me back later and said when he got back to the office there was nothing on his camera.  No pictures.  I started to tell him that I had a serious medical condition that somehow interferes with digital cameras thereby rendering me unable to be photographed or I could have just told him I'm a vampire but then I wouldn't be able to explain being out in daylight so I behaved and he came back and took it again.  This time with a different camera.

As part of our hospital's annual Christmas fal-de-ra we have a door decorating contest.  This year's theme was "A Country Christmas" and here are a few of this year's entries.

The sun is a little bright but it is a bed with a quilt, dresser and fireplace!

This is the start of a barn.  There will be a horse and other animals added!

This one is the Candy Land Door.  They also decorated their entire wing......

 

This is a 3-dimensional horse.  I think this one is really cool!  Our maintenance department created this one.

Sunday is the big Christmas party and when the voting will take place.  Lot's of great food, a visit from Santa, and fun for all.  We set up a Santa's workshop where all the visiting children can go and pick out a toy.  Our patients will get toys from Santa himself.  We are able to do all of this because of the generosity of volunteers and supporters.   So this is a very festive place to be at Christmas!

Well I made it another 24 hours without it costing me anything!  HOORAY........but all the news isn't good.  My daughter Julie (who had her ACL repaired May is going to have to have it done again on the same knee.  It seems the graph either didn't take or it has torn.  Bummer....that was a very painful surgery and a very long recovery.  I feel so bad for her but what can you do.  Just grin and bare or bear it. 

It seems that whenever you feel like a rain cloud is following you around it doesn't take long to realize that your problems are only inconveniences when compared to the suffering of others.  One of our RN's received a call that her daughter and 2 granddaughters were in a terrible car accident in California and her daughter was killed instantly.  The children are 18 months and 4 years old.  The grandmother drove straight through from Okla. to Calif. to be with the children and fortunately they were not severely injured.  She brought them back here to live with her.here in Okla.  Now, that will make you put your troubles in perspective! 

Only two more days and then I'm going to enjoy 2 weeks of lazy bliss!  The shopping is done and the presents are wrapped so there nothing left but the Christmas cheer!

I have done a good job of compartmentalizing Ron's cancer and I can just keep it there until the next CT scan.  He seems to be feeling good and so we will remain hopeful.  The best thing to do is just keep on living every day it's the only day any of us has for sure!

If it weren't for bad luck............

Don't they say bad luck comes in threes.  I sure hope so because that would mean my streak should be just about over for awhile.  Let's see, in less than 10 days I've had my car towed and the battery replaced, washed my cell phone in the washer, and today the sewer line backed up.  OK.....that's enough.....  I just have 3 more days until I'm on vacation for 2 weeks.  I just want to make it to January without another costly incident.

My daughter said she was going to make one of these for her dogs.  She said one of them wouldn't care and the other wouldn't know the difference!

The foreign exchange student?

My daughters attended a small college in Oklahoma.  The college was located in a small town in the southeastern part of the state, right smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt.  Now my daughters grew up in the 3rd largest city in Oklahoma and in a very liberal college town.  It was always my goal to teach them tolerance and to judge others by their deeds not their ethnicity and to respect all religious beliefs.  I was happy to see them exhibiting all these traits as young college women.

The girls started their college careers living in a co-ed dorm and working as desk clerks in order to offset the expense of school.  They quickly realized that they were not living in the liberal university town where they grew up.  Most of the students attending this school were from rural towns where prejudices and intolerance were not only tolerated but encouraged.  The girls quickly learned what subjects to avoid in order to fit into college life while realizing just how sheltered they had been from such intolerant views.

Now my daughter Julie is severely dyslexic and has always struggled with reading and spelling.  So working as a desk clerk presented challenges.  She struggled taking phone messages and checking students in and out but used her outgoing personality to compensate for her disability.  Being a desk clerk provided opportunities to meet all their dorm mates and to establish friendships with many of them.  Students would hang out at the desk and visit with the clerks on duty.  This is how Julie met her friend Bonnie.

Now, this particular dorm was where all the student athletes lived.  Bonnie was on the girl's tennis team and had come to the college on a tennis scholarship.  Julie had often seen Bonnie with a particular young man and one day she asked Bonnie if he was her boyfriend.  Bonnie didn't answer immediately but finally responded, "You seem pretty cool, I think it would be OK to tell you."  She then took a piece of paper and lightly wrote, "I'm a  l e s b i a n" on the paper and slid it in front of Julie.

Julie studied the note for what must have seemed an eternity and then responded innocently, "You're uhh Lebanese?"

"Huh"? answered Bonnie, obviously confused.

"Uh, you're from Lebanon?"  repeated Julie.

Bonnie leaned closer and whispered slowly and distinctly, "No, I'm a LESBIAN."

Barely glancing up Julie replied with astonishment, "Ohhhhhhhhhh!"  Not sure what to do next she gave Bonnie a little congratulatory punch in the arm and said, "Well, good for you."

Bonnie continued to look at Julie with a look of puzzlement, not sure just what to make of  her reaction.

Julie whispered, "I'm dyslexic Bonnie and I can't read worth @#$%."  Then both girls burst into laughter.

Julie and Bonnie became good friends and whenever Bonnie paid Julie a compliement on how she looked or on a new outfit Julie would tell her, "Coming from you Bonnie, that really means comething."

Another day older and deeper indebt!

I think I finished my Christmas shopping this weekend or at least my wallet says I've finished.  Between ruining my cell phone, the new car battery and various other stupid people tricks, there is not much left over for Christmas.   I tried everything to dry out that cell phone but nothing worked.  I guess an entire wash cycle was just way too much water!  (can't imagine why)  

This is my last week of work before I am off for 2 weeks.  I have absolutely no plans other than Christmas and then I plan to veg out until the new year.  Sounds productive doesn't it.  I want to do a little closet cleaning and a lot of reading. 

This is the light show Ron and I went to see Saturday night.  A family in town puts it on every year and they collect food and money for the local food bank.  It was really good!



Someone sent me the following video and I thought it was cute and worth sharing. 

Well, I'm still looking for my brain.  My fog continues.  I decided to get a jump on chores last night by getting the laundry done.  Too bad I didn't check the pockiets first.  As I was taking the laundry from the washer I could hear this buzzing sound coming from inside the washer.  I couldn't imagine what it was but when I finally got down to the bottom of the clothes what did I find but my cell phone.  It was vibrating and buzzing and obviously totally messed up.  Can't imagine why!  I took the hairdryer to it and now the buzzing stopped but I'm not holding out much hope that it will revive. 

The car turned out not to be too bad.  It just needed a new battery.  The old one had a short in it and I know there is a short somewhere in my car but so far no one has been able to find it.  Soooo I don't know how long this battery will last but maybe long enough to locate the short.  I'm having an expensive Christmas but it's not from buying gifts!  Yuk. 

Tonight I think Ron and I are going out to look at Christmas lights.  I might as well get out and enjoy other people's decorations since I didn't put any out myself.  Like the phone...my battery is dead!  I'll get it recharged by next Christmas.

I'm waiting for my son-in-law to get here.  I have a cabinet in the laundry room that is pulling away from the wall and he's going to help me fix it before it comes crashing down on the washer & dryer.  He's a good guy to take his day off and help me.   I need to get in there and get the cabinet emptied. 

What I Miss Most!

What is the saying, of all the things I miss it's my mind I miss the most!  That's how I feel this morning.  I know I had it yesterday but I'll be darn if I can find it this morning.  I wandered around my house trying to get ready for work and I must have ended up in the same room about 12 times with no idea why I was there or what I was looking for.  You just gotta laugh on days like that and think of it as an adventure.  I don't know where I am or where I'm going but I can sure have fun on the way.

I have an email friend in Connecticut.  We've been writing to each other for over 10 years but we have never met.  We are the same age and have a lot of things in common.  We both have rheumatoid arthritis and family members with mental disorders.  It's amazing the kind of friendships that can be developed through the internet and how wide your world can expand without ever leaving your house.  Anyway, I am going to make a real effort to meet Liz sometime next year.  We haven't figured out the details (as we are just in the 1st planning phase) but it's going to happen. 

As you can see, I accidently discovered COLOR today.  I have no idea how this occurred but I got online and had new options I didn't know existed.  A new tool bar and I have no idea where it came from.  But....I'm going to play with it and see where it goes.

So, everyone have a colorful day!  

Santa's Helper

This time of year brings back so many memories of Christmas’s past. When I was a little girl I thought my father was the smartest, bravest, most clever father in the world and that opinion was solidified the year he entertained Santa at our house.

I was five years old that Christmas and as usual my mother bundled all us kids up to go to church on Christmas Eve. And as usual, my dad had pressing matters that would prohibit him from joining us. So off we went leaving my father behind to tend to matters unknown to the rest of us.

After the Christmas Eve service we headed back home to get ready for the arrival of Santa. Now, remember this was long before cell phones so there was no chance to call ahead to warn my dad of our impending arrival. So as soon as we walked in the house we were met by my surprised father, caught red handed in the act of putting together a doll buggy for me. Without a moment’s hesitation he excitedly exclaimed, “I can’t believe you missed him! He just left a few seconds ago”.

Unanimously we inquired, “Who just left?”

“Why, Santa Claus” responded daddy as if it were an every day occurrence.

I just stood there, the youngest and most gullible of all 3 of his children, my eyes darting from the doll buggy back to my father.

He went on to explain, “I was just sitting here doing some paperwork when there was a knock at the door. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and there stood Santa Claus, his reindeer and sleigh parked in the front yard. He called me by name and said Earl, would you mind putting this doll buggy together for me, as my sleigh is quite full and I’m afraid it will fall out. Then he said he’d be back later with the rest of the presents.”

I didn’t know whether to be happier about the doll buggy or the fact that MY father had just met Santa Claus and in our own living room. I mean I knew my father was special but I had no idea he was on a first name basis with the big guy!

Daddy finished putting the wheels on my doll buggy. He then suggested I park it under the tree and then maybe; just maybe, Santa would bring a doll for the buggy. The next morning, sure enough, there was a doll sitting in my buggy just waiting for me.

There have been Christmas’s since then, in fact, I have celebrated fifty-five more but I still have that special gift from Santa sitting in my attic reminding me fondly of the Christmas when Santa’s helper got caught red-handed.



This is the cutest little guy....Watch his facial expressions!

signs that a marriage has gone bad....

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas........as I go deeper and deeper into debt! Timing is everything and this year is no exception. I got in my car after work yesterday and low and behold it wouldn't start. Tried jump starting it but nope.....so at 8:00 p.m. I was waiting for the tow truck to come tow it to the mechanic. So.....I know what I'm getting myself for Christmas! A repair bill! My car is 14 years old but I'm babying it along because I don't want the expense of a new car. At least not right now. I'm trying to time the whole car thing with retirement. I will retire in 5 1/2 years so I want to get another car in about 2 years. Just enough time to pay it off before I retire. I also want a carport before I purchase another car. But that may be wishful thinking. But on the flip side...I'm lucky I have a job, lucky I am close to retirement, lucky to have a car in the first place. (There is always a positive side to everything) I'm also lucky Ron has 2 cars and is able to loan one of them to me! So see......I have nothing to complain about after all!

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If I Had A Grandchild

Here are some of the gifts I'd so be buying if I had a grandchild. I especially loved this recordable children's book. Imagine yourself reading to your grandchild every night....... isn't that cool?

Another Christmas tradition you could start is the elf on a shelf. My daughters have this book and elf that they move around their classrooms every day. The kids named the elves and they report to Santa every night to tell him who is being good and who isn't. I even got in the game and wrote their students letters from Santa. He told them he was checking every night to see if their names are on the good boys and girls list......


Of course if I had a little granddaughter she would so be getting clothes, or a doll house or maybe a crooked house.


Or one that looks like a pirate ship for a grandson.


Of course if I had grand children I'd have to also get a part-time job!

Birthday Girls

I'm not a cat person but this is just too darn cute!


39 and holding!

I had a busy Saturday! Soup N' Salad did a fundraiser for the hospital today and I went with daughter #2 to that and then we went shopping. It was a lot more hectic today than it was yesterday afternoon when Ron and I went to the mall. But we accomplished our goal. This evening Ron and I went out to eat with both daughters and 9 of their friends. It was a birthday celebration for the twins. They will be 39 years old tomorrow! Unbelievable! Where has the time gone? 39 years ago on a beautiful Sunday afternoon they were born at 4:40 P.M. AND 4:42 P.M. I remember it well! I was 21 years old and their dad was in the service. Vietnam was in full swing. He had been gone 6 months and he didn't see the girls until they were 7 months old. That was quite a time. Fortunately I was too young and dumb to be scared. I thought one extra baby was no big deal. I didn't know that I wouldn't sleep through the night again for the next 3 years. But those little babies were just so darn cute. Never mind the fact that I couldn't tell them apart! There was only 3 oz. difference in their weight and they were exactly the same length. It never occurred to be to paint their toenails a different color. Duh! I do remember thinking it felt like I had won the lottery. I was just so excited about having twins. I am truly blessed. I am a little disappointed I never became a grandmother. That's an experience I would have loved to have. I hear there is nothing like it!

Where's my Christmas spirit....have you seen it anywhere?

The Christmas spirit eludes me this year. I'm not depressed or anything but I just don't have the Christmas spirit. I'm just going through the motions. Actually, I'm just doing what I have to do but nothing extra. I haven't decorated the house, put up a tree or played a single Christmas cd. If you knew me you would know how unusual and out of character all this is. I'm normally the Queen of Christmas. My kids have always teased me by saying my house looks like a Hallmark store. I'm not bah humbug or anything. I just kind of want to take a time-out this year. I hope to be rejuvenated in time for Christmas next year. Maybe if I'm patient it will all come back to me in 365 days.

Grandma's Hands

I received this email yesterday and thought it was worthy of sharing. "JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW FOR A MINUTE , AND THEN READ THE REST. IT WILL TOUCH YOU DEEPLY , AND IF NOT , THEN YOU MIGHT WANT TO DOUBLE-CHECK YOUR PULSE.

I was privileged to take a photo of"Five Generations of Women"shortly before my 93 year-old Grandmother passed away last year. The photo , shown below , features the hands of my Grandmother , Mom , Sister , Niece and Great-Niece. While I can't take credit for the idea , I was so happy to have had the suggestion & capture this moment. It inspired a friend of mine to do something similar , which turned out so beautiful it became a special keepsake , prior to her father's passing."



GRANDMA'S HANDS

Grandma , some ninety plus years , sat feebly on the patio bench.

She didn't move , just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally , not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled.
"Yes , I'm fine , thank you for asking , " she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you , grandma,but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK , " I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands , " she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over , palms up and then palms down. No , I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making...

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands , though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child , my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty , scraped and raw , swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors , and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair,and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up , lay me down , and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband
I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

I've got only question today.....why are the transgressions of Tiger Woods so news worthy? I realize he can hit a little ball with a stick a long, long, way into a little bitty hole on a nice manicured patch of grass but really???? America's fascination with movie stars and sports figures amazes me no end.

Sarah Palin is in town today. They were lined up starting yesterday morning in hopes of being one of a few hundred who will get a little bracelet that will allow them to purchase her book and get it autographed by the author. Sorry, no body's book is worth me freezing on a sidewalk all night just to get an autograph. But here's to those with the fortitude to persevere! She should feel right at home here in Oklahoma since every county in the state voted for the McCain/Palin ticket. I didn't know we had that many moose hunters!

The Boogie Man

Here's a little boogie woogie entertainment for your viewing and listening pleasure!

Christmas 2009 at the hospital

This is a picture of the reception desk.....I think it turned out very well.



The lobby display...this Santa Claus was a donation from one of the local antique dealers. He's huge! Our maintenance shop built the over sized rocking chair just for Santa!


This picture shows just how big Santa is!

Last night was our annual golf cart parade. In spite of the fact we were dodging rain drops it went pretty well. We had a lot less participation this year so we will need to see what we can do to rejuvenate interest in the parade. We've already chosen a theme for next year (A Candy Land Christmas". We are going to use the board game as an inspiration. Should be cute. This year's theme was "A Country Christmas". We had 2 decorated out houses in the parade. CUTE!

I hope you dance

My best friend Pam took her life 7 years ago next month. She was only 45 years old. I remember the Sunday morning I received a call from another friend telling me how sorry she was about Pam's suicide. I remember thinking she had the wrong person or there had been some terrible mix-up because I knew that was something Pam would never do. Why would she? She was a mother who loved her child more than life itself. She had a husband who loved her and had been her best friend since she was a teenager. She was always involved in every aspect of her daughter's life and had just become the secretary/treasurer for her sorority. Hadn't she just called me the week before to tell me she was going back to school for her degree. She was so excited that her employer was going to pay her tuition. Now, someone was trying to tell me that she got up on a Sunday morning and went to her back porch leaving her husband asleep in their bed. She put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. I couldn't comprehend what was being said, I couldn't believe it.

Christmas never comes anymore that I don't think of my friend. I have replayed our last conversation over and over. What did I miss? How did she hide her pain? What was she thinking and why didn't she reach out to someone? It took me several years to realize that I will never have answers to those questions. I can't help but think of her daughter and how she wasn't there to see her walk down the aisle. How she will not be there when her first grandchild is born.

This was the song played at her funeral. I had heard it many times before her death but the words have such a different meaning to me now.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance


Here's to you my friend...I hope you are dancing!

The end of 2009 approaches.

Approaching the end of another year! This has been an eventful year to say the least. My mother's death in April followed by Ron's diagnosis of cancer in August and his surgery in September. It was hard to see another empty chair at the Thanksgiving table this year. I remember when we had a table full of cousins and aunts and uncles. Every Thanksgiving meal was followed by a touch football game in the back yard.

So much has happened this year and yet life goes on. It doesn't necessary go on the same way as before but we try to keep smiling and appreciate every moment we have. I heard something yesterday that kind of struck me. It was something like "Remember, in the game of life, no one comes out alive." That makes it even more reason to live the life you have while you have it. It's worth asking yourself just how you want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as someone who liked to laugh, knew how to love and was generous in spirit. Now I'll keep striving to be that person.

Last night Ron and I took a drive around town. We drove over to our old grade school where we first met when we were six. We talked about how some things appeared smaller than we remembered but then again we were smaller too. I saw the house I lived in until I was 12 years old and noted how different the neighborhood looks today. I can’t help but yearn to go back in time when I see the old neighborhood and can almost hear the voices of family and friends like the cute little boy from the next block over…with his brown hair and eyes to match. He was our paperboy and always commented on the light illuminating from my bedroom window on his early morning paper route. I was afraid of the dark and my overhead light was left on to counteract my fear of the boogie man.

I don’t know that I would necessarily wish to live my entire life over again. I have wonderful memories but to relive the pain of loss again would not be for me. Instead I choose to keep the good memories and have long since let go of the bad. We shouldn’t spend too much time looking back when there is life ahead yet to live.

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile..

A little something for breast cancer awareness! Enjoy!

Yesterday Ron and I skipped Black Friday and went to the movies instead. We saw The Blind Side. The theater was packed and we unfortunately had to sit on the front row. Not easy for two people wearing bifocals but it was still worth it. The movie was really good. Amazing what that young man was able to accomplish and it really shows you the power of a simple act of kindness. What an example to follow. I think we all have the ability to touch lives each an every day but I'm not always sure we recognize the opportunity when we see it. The real test is whether we take those opportunities when we do.

The next movie on my list of must see....is The Road. I am curious if they are able to do the book justice. That won't be a small task. On Ron's list is the Jim Carey movie Scrooge. He wants to see it in 3-D. I've never been to a 3-D movie so that might be fun. We are still wanting to check out the new Warren theater and sit in the balcony where you can have dinner served to you and drinks. Talk about comfortable seating......I have actually been to a movie there (and it was great) but Ron hasn't experienced it yet. It is a little pricey for a movie but the experience was worth trying.

My dog sitting ends today. The "girls" have been pretty good. Lucy is still limping around on her back leg but doesn't yelp or anything. It comes and goes...like my aches and pains. Guess she's feeling her age too! All in all it has been a good holiday. Time now to get ready for Christmas! Tuesday night is our golf cart parade at work so I'll hit the ground running on Monday. Last minute details etc. I sure hope the weather cooperates.

Black Friday

The magical shopping day....the day after Thanksgiving. It was reported that there were people camping outside the Best Buy beginning Wednesday just waiting for the doors to open this morning. What a sneaky ploy by retailers....lure em in with a limited supply of the advertised item. My son-in-law told me that Best Buy only had a total of 6 of the advertised televisions available. There sure are going to be a lot of disappointed early birds!

I don't like shopping enough to fight the crowds today. I'd rather pay more to be less stressed. I guess it is just a matter of priority. Basically, I'm too lazy for the mob scene.

We had a relaxing Thanksgiving yesterday. My brother was full as a tick and very happy. Jamie and I didn't go into diabetic comas...managed to keep the blood sugar under control, which is a pretty good feet considering the occasion. We even took a long walk after dinner.

I'm dog sitting for twin #1 but as usual one of the dogs seems to have injured her leg. It seems to be her hip and she is favoring her back foot. She puts weight on it at times but seems to be avoiding it when possible. She hasn't whimpered or acted like she is in constant pain so I think she'll be ok until her mommy and daddy get back. I suppose it could be arthritis. She is getting a little long in the tooth.

I don't have any plans for today but I think I'll get Ron to go to the movies. There are 2 that I'm wanting to see. I want to see "The Road" and "Blindside". I guess I'll see which one is showing here.

I took the day off today. I've got a list of errands to run including a trip to the salon for a haircut! Then it is off to Walmart to fight the turkey shoppers. I have spent a lot less time this year planning the Thanksgiving dinner than years past. Maybe it seems like less of a challenge since this year I'm not cooking a turkey. A change my brother will not notice but I'm afraid Ron won't be too happy since he is a traditional sort of guy. I hate to disappoint anyone but this year I just don't feel like cooking a ton of food when there will only be 4 of us eating.

The weather couldn't be better and I'm off to take a bike ride. I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving! Eat lots of pumpkin pie......

Thankful

For the past 30 years I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my entire family. My mother passed on the duty to me when she turned 60 years old. For the past 30 years my brother Mike has stressed and worried that he wouldn't get fed. Every year he starts calling me about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving to check and make sure I'm going to cook. Every year I assure him that he won't go hungry. I remind him he ate last year and the year before and the year before that and he has yet to go hungry on Thanksgiving. His next question after "are you still cooking" is "will there be something for me to eat"? Mike has a phobia about chickens and to him a turkey is just a chicken on steroids. He won't go near one let alone eat one. So, for every holiday I make sure there is a ham or roast or something cooked specifically for him. And..every year I assure him that this year will be no exception. For about two weeks prior to a holiday he gets very concerned that I will get mad at him and won't cook. I tell him I may get mad at him but I'll still feed him. We have some very interesting conversations my brother and I. One of the side-affects of his medication is that he repeats what you say. I'm used to it but sometimes it does get a little annoying. I feel like I'm hearing an echo. The other thing he does is when you answer the phone he is already have way through the conversation. No hello, no this is your brother, he's just in mid thought and you have to catch up.

But I love him! I love his wonderful heart and his kind spirit. He never talks to anyone without "blessing their heart". Those aren't just words to him either he is deeply sincere. In spite of all his health problems and his personal struggle with mental illness he cares more for others than himself. He loves deeply and his loyalty knows no boundaries.

So of all the things I am thankful for today he is on my top 5 list! He teaches me every day!

A picture is worth a thousand words!

THE HARDEST PART ABOUT BEING A SEEING EYE DOG!


'Mass suicides...Cows going over the edge...tonight on Channel 3 News...'


A little too much McLogic?


Still dead huh?


Load the kids up with burritos and come on!


Must have been McNaughty!

Dorothy & Edna

Dorothy: ''That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.''

Edna: ''Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car...A limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... A marvelous dinner... Lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.Then we go see a show.. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way With me two times!''

Dorothy: ''Goodness gracious!... So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?''

Edna: ''No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress.''

I had a really busy day today. I'm not complaining because I'd rather be busy than twiddling my thumbs.

Last week I did a search for a woman I knew when I was a little girl. Unfortunately I found her obituary and learned that she had died about 3 years ago. She was our neighbor when I was in grade school and I used to babysit her little girls. They were just adorable and I was crazy about them. Well, I found the girls listed in the obituary and learned the married names. Through a people search I located both of them and wrote them a note. Tonight I got a phone call from the oldest girl. It's so strange because I only think of them as little girls and yet there is only 5 years difference in our ages. We are all going to get together during Christmas. I can't wait to see them again. It has been 40 years since I last saw them.

I tried a new diabetic recipe tonight and it was so delicious I just knew it was too good to be true. But....it had no adverse impact on my blood sugar what-so-ever! Sometimes we do get lucky! Tomorrow I go to my last class on diabetes. They have been very helpful in learning how to control this disease. I'm doing great, blood sugar under control, lost 15 pounds and am feeling great!

Life is good!

A Rose by Any Other Name........

Titles for blog posts are a real challenge for me. Sometimes I come up with a clever title but then feel the pressure to write something that will live up to the name. It’s like when a mother names her kid Precious and then the kid turns out to be a holy terror. If she had only named her something like Maude or Mabel it would have lowered the expectation. I once knew of a little girl named Charisma……now talk about pressure. Just how much charisma can you expect from a 5 year old? I personally was always leery of naming a daughter Tina as I have always pictured girls named Tina as small and petite. There were two Tina’s in my 5th grade class. One was so little we called her Tiny Tina…….the other…..well, let’s just say Tiny was not an accurate synonym for her. I also think about little babies and names that they have to grow into, for instance the name Harold. I’ve never seen a baby that looked like a Harold. The name that really struck me recently was a newborn named Huck. At least the only Huck I can think of WAS a little boy so that helps. Now Ron’s real name is Ronald (which doesn’t sound like a baby name either) but there are so many versions of Ronald it works. When we were in grade school he was Ronnie. Of course it stuck and he was Ronnie all the way through high school as well. He didn’t break out into the adult version until he was in college where he became Ron.

When I was pregnant with my twins (before I knew there were 2 babies) I had already picked out the name Jamie for a girl since her dad was named Jimmy. But the day I learned I was expecting 2 babies instead of 1 really threw me into a spin. First there was the feeling of guilt that for 8 ½ months I didn’t know the child even existed and had only been dreaming about her sibling. Second, I had to come up with 2 more names, a boy’s and a girl’s. I didn’t want rhyming names but was ok with the first letter being the same. On the ride from the doctor’s office to my dad’s store I named the little stowaway Julie, after a very dear friend. But, another boy’s name just wasn’t rolling off my tongue. My original boy’s name was Michael David after two of my brothers. The second name was a struggle. My mother had always told me to test prospective baby names by yelling the name out the back door as if you are calling your child in for supper. My second name choice was Mark Alan….not for any reason except I like the name Alan. Since I knew Michael would probably be shortened to Mike I went to the back door and yelled Mike…Mark….hmmmmmmm not so good. It made me sound like a hair-lipped dog. But to save my soul I couldn’t come up with another choice so I just kept praying for girls. Hooray…..it worked! However, what I didn't realize was that no matter what you name your kids there is a good chance they won't like it anyway. Jamie has always accused me of naming her a boy's name. Julie just says, with a noted hint of sarcasm, "How original". I should have just kept the names they assigned in the hospital, #1 and #2. Ohhhh, that's like Dr. Seuss, Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Then they would have had something to complain about!

How To Give A Cat Medication

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.



7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.


9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour a shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek, and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the darn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little sucker's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down..


14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get family to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How To Give A Dog A Pill.....

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

Gutter Guy

I love this time of year and the falling leaves but they sure make a mess in the gutters. That's why I use "Gutter Guy". Gutter guy comes complete with ladder and the guy who gets on the ladder and reaches in the gutters and removes the offending leaves! And....just look at his happy face. You can tell he loves his work! What a good sport too! He doesn't even flinch when his work is interrupted by the annoying picture taker. So if your gutters need cleaning I highly recommend "Gutter Guy!


and next on my list of people to call..... "Leaf Man"


When was the last time you watched the Wizard of Oz? I watched the entire movie Saturday night and that was probably the first time since I was a kid. I love it! It takes me back to about age 7 and how I would cover my eyes when those flying monkeys made their presence known. Those are still some scary looking critters. The acting is so good that it is no wonder the movie is timeless. I just wonder if those flying monkeys get the same reaction our of kids today or have today's children been exposed to so much stuff they hardly flinch.

But...my all time favorite show when I was a kid was Peter Pan with Mary Martin. The show usually aired once a year and I so looked forward to it. One year I decided I wanted to be Peter Pan for Halloween. God love my sweet mama....she always did such a good job making Halloween costumes but for some reason she just didn't get the hang of Peter Pan and I just hated it when your friends had to ask what you were supposed to be. Mom evidently couldn't find green material or green tights so I ended up in a red outfit...with leftover blue seam binding trimming the arm holes and skirt hem. No Peter Pan hat either...she found a straw hat with a feather in it. Uggggggh.......I didn't look anything like Peter Pan. I resembled more a color blind elf. Now my friend Karma always dressed up as a hobo..(before politically correct costumes) She would cover her face with cold cream and then put coffee grounds on her face for whiskers. She would wear her dad's shirt and a pair of old pants and then carry a stick with a bandanna. I assure you no one said, "Who are you supposed to be?" to her!

Chrstmas shopping seems to be early here in Oklahoma. I went with my daughters to Okla. City today and the malls were full of people. No signs of the recession to be found. Of course I don't know if everyone was spending money or just window shopping. We certainly did our share to help the economy. I was on a mission to find the girl's birthday presents today and I am happy to say we were successful. I don't even try to shop for them anymore so I just let them shop and I pay the bill. It works out great for everyone! I'm usually finished with Christmas shopping way before now but this year I haven't even started. Maybe I'll get inspired soon.

Love and Sorrow

Swallows: Here his mate is injured and the condition is fatal. She was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road.


Here he brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion.


He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead. He tried to move her...a rarely-seen effort for swallows!


Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again he cries out with adoring love..


He stood bsdie her, saddened of her death.


Finally aware she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

Millions of people cried after seeing these photos in America and Europe and India..The photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to the most famous newspaper in France.

All copies of that edition were sold out on the day these pictures were published. And many people think animals don't have a brain or feelings????

You have just witnessed Love and Sorrow

........Felt by God's creatures.





My daughter just called to inform me that she has been diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Her first reaction is shock and anger. I know how she feels but I’m a person who just says here’s the problem and now what’s the plan? I’ve never spent much time in self-pity because I see it as a waste of valuable time and energy. This is a trait not always appreciated by others especially if they are coming to me for consolation and sympathy. I’ve always looked at things and realized that no matter the problem it could always be worse. Lifestyle changes are required to manage diabetes and that is hard for many people to accept. But it is doable! You just have to make up your mind to do it.

Working in a children’s hospital for kids with developmental disabilities has really taught me about keeping perspective. We see children and families with life long challenges every day. These children and parents would give anything if someone told them all their problems could be controlled with diet and exercise! No matter what challenges come my way I don’t have to look far to see how it could be worse. As a mother I wish I could take every bruise for my children but as a person I know that my greatest growth came from the mistakes I’ve made and the challenges I have faced.

The Candy With A Hole In It

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red......................Cherry
Yellow...................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange ...................Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.
None of the children could identify the taste..

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue.
It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,
'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

Why are Americans Afraid of Universal Healthcare?

That's a question I've pondered for some time and one I've been asked by my friends in the UK and Canada. They say that we Americans seem to be fear our own government. The same establishment that we elected freely. It doesn't make sense. I thought our government is the very thing that sets us apart from other countries.

Our constitution describes our government as being "for the people, by the people." You are the people - we are the people. With that said, why are we afraid of the government having any congtrol? Isn't this the government that is "for the people, by the people"? Who better then to take care of the needs of the people? Certainly we don't think the HMO's and PPO's, huge for profit corporations, are going to be more trustworthy than those who are "for the people, by the people."

Some people argue that they want to choose for themselves who takes care of their health needs. But really, who does the choosing? For most of us it is our employer who decides what company, and what price, is available. But that's only if you are lucky enough to have an employer that provides any choice at all.

Then there is the argument that countries with socialized medicine have horrible systems. Are there horror stories? Yes. Are their long waits for services? Sometimes. But private health has horror stories and waiting lists as well. No system is perfect. No system that involves humans that is..."by the people".

I don't see how a government that proclaims to be "by the people, for the people" can not ensure that all its people have access to basic health care.

The Magic Kingdom

You know how there are things in everyone’s past that they aren’t particularly proud of or wish to admit. Those parenting moments for instance when we didn’t necessarily use our best judgment. Well, one of my less than stellar moments as a parent occurred when my girls were four years old.

When my children were young they were not good little travelers like some children who are instantly lulled to sleep by the purring of a car engine. Oh no, my children never slept in the car not even as babies. Due to this fact it goes without saying I wasn’t that thrilled when my husband decided he wanted to take a family trip from Oklahoma to California with our pre-school age twin daughters. I started out with the greatest intention to remain optimistic but we had hardly left the driveway when I realized my optimism was not based on known fact. We had barely reached the end of the block before the fighting began. Twin one snatched something away from twin two and twin two being unwilling to tolerate such a blatant disrespect of personal space and property retaliated by biting twin one on the arm like a starving wolf cub. As soon as twin one became of aware of the blood drawn by twin two she began to scream at a decibel rate equivalent to the sound of a jet leaving the tarmac. At this point all I could think about was that we had 1,342.46 miles of road trip ahead. By the time we reached Amarillo, Texas a mere 286 miles from our house, I had begun the downward descent into a catatonic state. My husband, not wanting to have to raise two little girls on his own, made an executive decision to abandon the Magic Kingdom in favor of a shorter route to Arlington, Texas and Six Flags Over Texas. As he exited Interstate 40 and turned south I looked at him with more adoration and love than I had shown on our wedding night. Using Pig Latin to communicate we concocted the scheme to pass off Six Flags as Disneyland seeing as how our two passengers couldn’t read anyway. I fully intended to tell them the truth when they had children of their own and after they had traveled say 500 miles to visit Grandma at Christmas time.

We arrived in Arlington sometime that evening. The girls didn’t know California from Texas so the disparagement in travel time didn’t raise their suspicions. We checked into our motel to get a good night’s sleep before going to the “Magic Kingdom” the following day. I hadn’t been asleep 3 hours when I was startled into consciousness by the sound of gagging from the next bed. I barely opened my eyes before twin one began throwing up all over the bed immediately followed by the convulsive heaving of twin two. Holding back my own urge to expel the contents of my stomach I managed to get trashcans for all and cold rags on necks. By now I figured the “Magic Kingdom” wasn’t going to be on our itinerary but I didn’t count on the one-track mind of a four year old times two. It was apparent that if we didn’t go we were going to witness a full blown fit that would make Super Nanny run for the hills.

So, bright and early armed with ice buckets stolen, I mean borrowed, from the motel and wet rags we ventured toward “Mickey’s Magic Kingdom”. Fortunately, the girls didn’t get sick again but we had to battle temperatures I’m sure were not being experienced in Anaheim. Texas in July is about 110 in the shade. We stood in lines for rides with water misters spraying overhead only to have the water evaporate long before it hit our scorched and searing flesh. The girls kept asking where Mickey Mouse and Snow White were hiding out and their father’s creative answer was to tell them Mickey was in jail for DUI (my husband was a police officer) and that Snow White was on an extended vacation. Fortunately there were a few Looney Tunes characters skulking about so that seemed to satisfy the kids.

The girls requested toy swords at the souvenir stand and on our way to the parking lot we had them pose in front of the Six Flags sign. It had a picture of Bugs Bunny waving a sword over his head so we thought it would be cute to get a picture of our own sword waving children. The shot was snapped and our vacation to the "Magic Kingdom" came to an end.

Long after the trip was a faint memory and my children had been in school for a couple of years they happened upon our vacation snapshot of them in front of the “Disneyland”…..sign. I heard a wail from the other room and was soon confronted by two enraged second graders demanding answers.

All I could think of was who’s idea was it to teach them to read anyway?