Nuts for Winter

Little did I know that the reason I gained 20 pounds was because I was preparing for a pandemic!  A little fat reserve can come in handy.  Since we began this self isolation I have lost 6 pounds.  Partly I think because of stress and also not eating out.  I've also been rationing portions because grocery shopping is hit and miss.  I don't know what is available from day to day.

Our mayor issued a stay home proclamation yesterday requiring all non essential businesses to close and for residents to stay home.  It goes into effect at midnight tonight.  I'm anxious to see if it makes any difference.  Today Ron and I delivered toilet paper and food to my niece and then drove to Mike's to clean his condo and sit with him awhile.  People were all over the place and for the life of me I can't figure out where they are all going.  It just looked like a typical day.  We will see what tomorrow brings.

On the subject of Mike he seemed a little out of it today.  A lot of things he talked about didn't make sense.  It's hard to tell sometimes if it is just his cognitive issues or his mental illness.  Our goal has been to create a new routine for him and try to get him stabilized.  I know he is anxious and I do my best to keep him reassured.  I also try to keep him from watching the news but that's hard since I'm not there 24/7.

For fear of sounding like a complete nut job myself I will share this little tidbit.  Ever since my mother passed away in 2009 I often look at the clock and see 3 digit numbers.  3:33, 2:22, 4:44, etc.  Every time this happens I think maybe my parents are talking to me.  I know that's out there but it gives me comfort all the same.  So I always stop what I'm doing and silently greet them with "Hi mom, Hi dad!"  This has kept me feeling close to them.  

So, today when I was at Mike's I was changing the sheets on his bed and happened to glance at the clock and it said 1:11.  I greeted mom and dad and then had this strong feeling I needed to pray with them.  I stopped what I was doing and just silently prayed the Our Father.  Just as I said amen I looked up just to see the clock change to 1:12.  As if they said Amen as well.  

I know....it's crazy...so don't call the authorities.  But since my mother died I have wanted to know if they are pleased with how I am caring for my brother.  So I guess this is my way of getting that confirmation even if it is just in my head.  Every day I have a better appreciation for the care they gave him and also a better understanding of just how hard it was for both of them.  I just want them to know that I'm trying to give him the best quality of life I can.