Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

I don't know what drives my need to try to solve other people's problems.  I'm really talking about family members.  They keep me so busy I don't have time to try to help anybody else.  I can't stand seeing a member of my family suffer whether it is from self-imposed injury or just the consequences of bad choices.  I try to "fix" the problem.

The lesson I'm having to learn is that I can't always fix it and that sometimes I need to turn it over to someone else and walk away.  I did that last night.  

My brother's oldest daughter is in real trouble.  I have slowly discovered the extent of her alcoholism (thankfully because she has finally opened up and talked to me about it)  She wants to go to AA which is great but after realizing she has been drinking every day for 7 years and now to the point that it is all day I talked to some doctors yesterday and they told me that it is not only futile for her to try by herself but dangerous.  It could actually kill her.  They said she needs medical detoxification in a hospital.  I called her dad and he stepped up and is taking her to St. Anthony's today and she will go to rehab after she is detoxed.  Combining alcoholism and bi-polar disorder is a horrible combination but it is definitely out of my expertise......this is something that has to be handled by physicians.  

At least knowing that she is where she needs to be will let me focus on my husband and what he needs.  His surgery is just one week from tomorrow. 


Darcy Winters said...

I use to be the same way. I wanted to help and would often go out of my way to do so. I finally realized that sometimes people have to step up and help themselves. It is hard to do "nothing," but sometimes it is all you can do. Glad your niece is going to get the help she really needs!

Olga said...

This seems like a smart decision. Your niece will get the attention she needs and I hope she benefits. Mean while you can focus where you are needed the most, with your husband.

I am watching a family member going through the detox/rehab route now. I just offer support to the rest of the family, my sister and her kids.

kenju said...

It is good to know that she wants to change. I hope her time in rehab will be successful.

Granny Annie said...

As much as I would like to mix in on all our family concerns, it is also time for me to concentrate on my husband's medical needs and just hope everyone will understand. A day does not go by that I don't wish I had a magic wand to wave and fix them all.

Paisely Brook said...

please take care of yourself and let your brother take care of his...we love you and want you to have the happy life that you deserve