Goodbye dear friend

 

Remembering Childhood Friends

Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he/she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love.

There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had.

They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure. I found just such a treasure in the summer of 1957, when I was eight years old and the summer Karma Ann Hulslander moved on the block.

I don't remember meeting her; it's as if one day she just appeared and became my best friend. Karma was the original Pippy Longstocking. She moved to Oklahoma with her mom, sister Arta and baby brother Kenny while her dad remained in Colorado to run their ranch.

Karma's mother had a dream of becoming a doctor so she and the kids moved here so she could attend the University of Oklahoma. Mrs. Hulslander was about 4 feet 11 inches tall and she was as round as she was tall. Both Karma and Arta towered over their mother and baby Kenny wasn't far behind.

Karma was the first tomboy I ever knew. She wore boys' jeans and cowboy boots when she bothered to wear shoes at all. Her long brown hair was worn in a ponytail and her face was covered in brownish red freckles.

She was like a magnet and I was drawn to her instantly. Karma had an unending imagination and being with her was always a new adventure. She was the Lone Ranger and I was her faithful companion, Tonto.

Karma and I couldn’t have been more different. She was fiercely independent, could hold her own with any boy and was what my daddy referred too as “tough as a boot.” I on the other hand was a timid, insecure, sissy girl.

I wanted to be brave and daring but it just wasn’t in my nature. I was a peacemaker at heart and avoided confrontation at any cost. Just being with Karma made me believe I too could be brave and daring even if it was only wishful thinking.

To earn spending money, Karma collected pop bottles. She received 2 cents a bottle and she would hike all over the university campus picking up bottles and trading them in for money to purchase little wooden animals from Dee's gift shop.

Karma would have rather played with those little animals than any old doll. One Christmas, her dad built her a doll house complete with electric lights but it was never used to house a Barbie or any other doll for that matter. Karma's prized animals were the happy homeowners.

One summer, Karma's dad built a playhouse in their back yard but Karma insisted it was not a playhouse but a ranch. No matter what name it was given it was a really great place to play.

We made dishes out of mud and even had running water after Karma found an old enema bag and hung it from the chimney of the barbeque grill.

One night we decided to play hide 'n' seek and the ranch house was home base. Everyone took off to hide and my brother Mike climbed up into Hulslander's attic. He probably would never have been found if he hadn't fallen through their living room ceiling.

Mr. Hulslander was sitting in the living room when Mike's legs came crashing through the ceiling. There he was, dangling above Mr. Hulslander's head and the game was over.

Karma's mom never got accepted to medical school. In the 1950s, it was very hard for women to get admitted plus she was older than most of the other students and considered a bad risk. She did go on to pharmacy school and after her graduation the whole family moved back to Colorado.

Karma would come back in the summers to visit riding the bus from Colorado to Oklahoma all by herself. One summer when I was 12 years old, I went back to Colorado with her on the bus. To this day I can't believe my mother let me go and she never would have if I had been with anyone other than resourceful Karma.

She was a wise old soul in a 12-year-old body who made us all wish to be Peter Pan and remain children forever.

Yesterday Karma took her last breath.  She was surrounded by friends and family who loved her very much and will miss her terribly.  I was fortunate enough to have been able to fly to Kingman, AZ and say goodbye to my friend two weeks before her passing.  I was happy she knew I was there, and we were able to spend time together.  I'm thankful to her husband Bill for calling me with the news that her passing was fast approaching.  Karma was diagnosed with brain cancer less than a year ago.  She had surgery but they were unable to remove the entire tumor.  She was given 1 to 2 years and of course she was determined to get as much life as possible.  Unfortunately, the cancer took her sight, and this once extremely independent woman was now dependent on others in a way she had never experienced.  Yet, she accepted her new normal and plowed on just as determined as always.  I sat on her bed and asked if she felt she had had a good life.  She replied, "Listen...hear those voices in the kitchen?  Yes, it's been a great life."  She was referring to the voices of her family.  

I will miss my friend more than I can express.  The last thing she said to me as we said goodbye for the final time was "I'll see you in August, one way or another."  I'm not sure exactly what she meant but I do know we will see each other some day one way or another.

Recovery Update

Just a little update on my recovery from knee replacement.  It has been 16 days since surgery.  I had my staples removed last Friday and that felt wonderful.  I'm about six weeks ahead of schedule on my recovery as per the surgeon.  He said they expect to see about a 90-degree bend in knee at 6 weeks and I was 120 degrees at 2 weeks.  That doesn't mean I won't peak and slow down, but it did mean I'm ready for outpatient PT now.  Since I have the range of motion I now need to work on strength and stability.  This can be better accomplished in outpatient therapy.  So here we go!

I must brag on my dear husband who has been the best nurse, PT aide and all-around caregiver.  He has wrestled the TED hose and helped me in every possible way.  I don't know what I'd have done without his help.  Now we know exactly what to expect when I get the right knee done.  I am not ready to schedule the 2nd surgery yet but maybe in a month or so.

So I'll keep on keeping on.

Update

My knee surgery was January 12th so I am 8 days post-op.  I am doing home health for a few weeks and getting physical therapy.  They tell me I'm further along than most patients at this point.  I'm very stiff but having no intolerable pain.  I've only taken 2 pain pills so far.  All-in-all I'm doing pretty good.  Ron is an excellent nurse and in fact I have to resist letting him do too much for me.  Nice problem to have.

The Bees Knees

 Well, next Monday I'm having my first total knee replacement.  Funny thing is I got a call from the hospital last week saying they needed to schedule my pre-op visit. It was a surprise to us because I never told anyone to schedule anything.  I was going to get cortisone one more time and then consider surgery.  But........somehow I got on the schedule and we just decided to go for it.  Thankfully I had all my Christmas shopping done and packages mailed.  Now I'm just trying to get everything else done and the house cleaned real good before I go to the hospital.  I feel sorry for Ron because I can be a difficult patient when I don't feel in control or have to be dependent on someone else.  I'm going to try and just chill......

I am currently sitting here waiting for a phone visit with the lung doctor so I can be cleared for surgery.  Interesting how they can determine if you are fit for surgery over the phone.  I haven't seen him in person since April.  Oh well, I think my lungs are doing really well right now and no coughing or wheezing at all....knock on wood! and of course the appt. was for 4:00 pm and it is now 4:30. I guess there is a rule that they must keep patients waiting no matter what.

I don't know if I mentioned before that I grew up feeling like a giant.  I always thought I was taller than everybody.  At sixteen I told them I was 5' 7" tall on my driver's license.  It wasn't until I went to work at the hospital and after insisting I was 5' 7" they measured me.  I was 5' 4 1/2".  I couldn't believe it...........well last time I was measured I am now 5' 3" tall.  Shrinkage?  I did get my driver's license corrected about 3 years ago.  My daughters said if they ever issued a silver alert to find me I'd never be found.  They would be looking for a 5' 7" brunette that weighed 120 pounds. 

Attitude Adjustment

I don't know why I was having such a tough day yesterday.  Too much election talk.  Oklahoma public schools have a lot riding on the outcome of the State Superintendent election, for rural schools it's a matter of their survival.  The Republican candidate wants to do school vouchers and wants to refuse all federal money to schools.  That would literally shut the doors of rural schools in the state.  So today I took everyone's advice and called a moratorium on the news and social media.   It has been a peaceful day.

I have been painting snowman pictures and a Santa or two.  Running out of wall space but it is a good hobby right now.  Today was a rather warm November day in the upper 70's.  Snowmen help remind me that winter is coming.

Ron and I are taking care of two neglected dogs that live next door.  They are left outside with no shelter or even water.  Ron fills a bucket of water for them every day and he talked to the homeowner twice about his concerns for the dogs.  We have wanted to avoid kicking up any dirt with the neighbors but after seeing the dogs left outside during a terrible thunderstorm Ron talked to them again and they said they were getting a doghouse.  We waited but no doghouse ever surfaced so we purchased an insulated house for them and put it in their backyard.  We just had to do something for those dogs and maybe we will be able to sleep better at night.  If it weren't for Ron, they would get no attention at all.  He plays with them and has taught them a few commands and they are just so happy to see him each day.

Here is to an even better day tomorrow!

Struggling

 I don't know why I struggle to put my thoughts into words these days, but I do.  Most of the time I am just feeling disgust and anger about what I see in this world. The unfiltered, vile hatred that people feel empowered to spew like a boiling teapot left unattended.  It is no surprise seeing as how we had a President who was so adept at sharing his own vile and hateful rhetoric.  Common decency just doesn't exist. I spend a great deal of time trying to figure out how this "new normal" sustains itself and my finger lands on social media.  It has created a safety zone that allows people to show themselves as they are without any immediate consequence.  The power of anonymity. Oh, how I long for the days of political correctness even if it was only a delusion. Or maybe just my delusion that people were better than what they truly are due to a societal floor monitor.  Well Trump certainly removed my rose-colored glasses and has forced me to see the ugliness that still prevails.

Reading, Writing and Arithmetic.........only if vetted!

Oklahoma has officially gone nuts!  They are passing one insane bill after another.  This is the year of the bounty hunters...and it is hunting season all year for teachers.  My daughters had to sign a statement that they will not have any books in the classroom that have not be "vetted" by two professionals declaring it appropriate.  Who these professionals are no one knows!  Last year one of my daughters had a parent flip out because her child checked out the book, "Tommy, the hyperactive turtle", from the library. They have teachers terrified to have classroom libraries at all.  They were warned that any violation would result in the loss of their teaching license. They were told to review all their books for outdated content....such as the depiction of pilgrims and Indians in books about Thanksgiving. My daughter who teaches Pre-k said Thanksgiving will be about eating turkey and being grateful.  I warned her someone from PETA may have an objection.

 I told my daughters we all need to learn how to groom dogs.  Any profession other than teaching would be better.  Although I guess some dog owners can be as demanding as parents.