OK..where to begin.  Ron's PET scan results were not what I hoped.  The lung cancer has been confirmed.  It had grown but only slightly and the cancer at the original site had grown also.  The doctor was very vague and only said he was referring Ron to an oncologist.  He said he couldn't give him any prognosis but that would come from the oncologist.  Ron was actually very upbeat and said it was better news than he expected.  They didn't see any cancer anywhere else.  Soooo next week we will get the referral.

On the subject of my brother, well, no hospital would admit him.  We did see the psychiatrist at community mental health and he again changed Mike's medictions.  He put him on Thorazine (which doesn't thrill me) there are many side effects, Prozac, and he's still on Resperidone.  The doctor said if Butch or I can't take care of him he needs to be in a nursing home.  Then we were warned that a nursing home may be hesitant to take him because of the "gun" purchasing issue.  I don't plan to volunteer that information myself.  So....we are back to square one. 

I brought Mike home with me because my sister-in-law won't allow him to stay at their house.  I was lucky to get some help for 2 days.  Butch stayed with Mike at his house but he was done as of today.  So, I guess I'm going to take care of 2 sick men.   I now have to find time to start searching for a nursing home.  The psychiatrist did say that after 12 to 18 months if Mike were stablized he would be able to go back home.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or bad.

I'm just numb.  I realize that Ron's cancer is terminal but he isn't ready to accept that and that's OK.  I'm glad he is still feeling positive.  I just wonder if any doctor is going to be honest with him.  If he gets a terminal diagnosis he could file for disability and receive Medicare.  That would help financially but I'm not going to say anything about it to Ron.  I'll just wait to see what the oncologist says.

I also worry that they may put him through hell for nothing.  Chemotherapy and radiation treatments that will offer no hope for recovery.  I want them to be honest with Ron so he can make an informed decision for himself. 

Unfortunately Ron's lack of communication has caused hurt feelings with his daughter.  She saw the website for the estate sale and was hurt because she wanted some of her grandad's WWII items.  I thought Ron had talked to her and asked her what she wanted but he didn't.  I think he is embarassed about the financial problems he is having.  Now we have to pay the estate company their commission on those items in order to get them back.  I don't think we are supposed to be going backwards but seems we are. 

On the saddest note of all my other son-in-law lost his sweet mother today.  She died this morning after a very short battle with leukemia.  I'm going to be dog sitting for a few days so my daughter can get to Amarillo.  Larry's father was a minister for 48 years and passed away 2 years ago and his mother was a dear sweet woman.  Larry said today that they are back together as it should be.

Do you think there is a light at the end of this tunnel????????  Somebody wave a candle or something!