Adjusting

Ron and I are adjusting to living together.  It is different from when I married at the age of 20 and everything was so new.  We are old hands at compromise, we have the wisdom of age to help up know where our priorities are.  Maybe we are so thankful now for every second we can have together that we have been freed from the petty things that tear at relationships.  

Last night Ron woke me up as he tossed and turned, crying out once in his sleep.  I immediately began to gently stroke his back as he settled back to sleep.  I however was unable to return to sleep and simply kept my hand resting on his arm.  I tried to memorize the feel of him and couldn't imagine the time when I would never be able to touch him again.  It still is not in my comprehension which is probably a good thing.  I'm continually amazed by how normal things seem at times.  The fact that Ron is not that sick keeps life going as usual and I'm so afraid that chemotherapy and radiation are like monsters waiting around the corner ready to pounce and steal the "normal" moments from us.

It is imperative that I keep my emotions under control so I don't let cancer win.  It may take Ron's life but it will not rob of us this time to say good-bye.  I told him how lucky I am to have had him in my life these past 10 years.  He changed my life in more ways than he will ever know.  I wish everyone in the world could know what a kind, gentle person he is and what a gentleman.  He doesn't just talk-the-talk, as they say, he walks the walk.  I love him with all my heart!  I'll always love him.