OK, snow flurries today and then more snow by Sunday night.  Just when I got my car dug out here we go again.  I was wanting to make an offer on the car I found but I probably won't get to it until next week.  

Ron is waiting for the doctor to schedule his PET Scan.  His appointment with the doctor to get the results has already been scheduled for Feb. 11 (Ron's birthday no less).  I'm really worried because Ron has suddenly started losing weight and it is very noticeable.  It just started falling off him. He's still getting sick every time he eats anything and it lasts for about an hour.  

It's weird.....I'm ready to face whatever is coming but then I wish we could just wait awhile longer without knowing.  Pretend that everything is normal and that we have all the time in the world.  Ron has been expressing his feelings more and more.  When he tells me he loves me it is with an intensity that I've never heard before.  I've always known he loves me but he is expressing it with such intense emotion.  He is also letting go of things.  He doesn't want to keep anything from his house he just wants all of it to be sold.  It is like he is unburdening himself of the past.  It's hard to describe.  As always his spirits are good.  He's either the best actor I've ever seen or he really is at peace with everything.  Of course we have yet to hear what the doctor will say but I feel right now that Ron is ready to face whatever he has to say.

When I pray I still ask for a miracle but I also ask that Ron's needs be met as God knows what his needs are.  I pray that he be spared pain and suffering and for the strength to help him through what is to come.  Last night I thanked God for everything he has given me in my life.  I had wonderful parents who gave me such unconditional love.  I was blessed with two beautiful daughters at once after losing a child.  God helped me through the pain of divorce and comforted me when I was lonely.  I prayed that some day I would know what it felt like to be loved and though it took more than 30 years God sent Ron into my life again.  The boy I knew as a child who grew up to be the kindest man I've ever known.  I'm so grateful for the past ten years.