Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Purina Dog Chow

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart and overheard the man in front of me who was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow. The woman behind him asked if he had a dog. He looked at her as if to say what do you think it is for, an elephant? Instead he told her no, he didn't have a dog, he was starting the Purina Diet again. He added that he probably shouldn't, because he ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.

He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and he was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with his story.) Horrified, she asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him. He told her no, he stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit them both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Better watch what you ask retired people. It seems they have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

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