Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sleepless in Oklahoma

I'm beginning to think I'm a few tacs short of a full box. I went to bed last night ready to sleep but nope....just couldn't turn my brain off. I watched the clock as each hour ticked by. I finally got up at 12:00 and took something but that didn't help either. By 4:00 a.m. I knew I had only an hour before I had to get up anyway. I may have dozed off about 4:30 because that's when the crazy dreams started. My father was alive but dying of esophageal cancer and he was losing the ability to talk. My mother was alive but not well. I was there taking care of them but rushed because I knew I had to go to work and I was late. Then my dad started choking and I called 911 but the doctor came instead. He said that my father's cancer would suddenly cause him to hemorrhage and he would choke in his own blood. I remember I kept telling the doctor that I wished he had known my father before he got sick. That he would have loved his sense of humor and his fun personality. Then a car ran into my parent's house by a lady with a van full of children. I was furious and ran outside yelling and screaming at this lady. (which is NOT like me at all) The lady yelled back saying she was trying to get through the yard to take the children to see the cows in the field behind the house. dad died after colon surgery. My parents never lived in a house with cows in the back. I never yell at people. Oh, and when I was trying to take a bath to get ready for work my mother opened the door and the doctor was standing there with her. You know....the ole caught naked dream!

Good grief........I'm losing my mind.......I am exhausted and guess I'll take the doctor up on the medication. I can't keep going like this!

1 comment:

Arkansas Patti said...

What an awful dream. Get those meds. You are just purely exhausted mentally and physically. You are running on fumes.
Careful of some prescription sleep aids though as they can cause depression which you don't need.
Totally open up to your doctor so he will know what to give you.You need relief.