Friday, March 20, 2015

Change is difficult in any form yet is also unavoidable.  I feel like my life is in transition as I prepare to retire from my job after 28 years here at the hospital and 35 years of state service.  

We are looking at the prospect of building a new home.  I've lived in my current home 46 years so that would be a huge change.

Even our church is in transition.  Our pastor left about 7 months ago and we've had an interim pastor for the last 6 months.  Lots of turmoil in the church as it navigates through this transitional period.  I just learned today that our assistant pastor Pam is resigning.  This really makes me sad as she is the one who married Ron and I and has just be a wonderful friend and support to us.

It will be interesting to see how we all survive these changes.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Healthy Hooters

Well, tomorrow is mother/daughter mammogram day!  Every year my two daughters and I go for our annual mammograms together.  We make a day of it.  First the exams then lunch at where else?  Hooters!  This year one of their friends requested to join our group so we will be getting a table for four!  After lunch we will go shopping.  It's a fun day and keeps us vigilant about our yearly exams.

Last year I wrote a letter to the Hooters corporation suggesting a marketing campaign where by Hooters would provide discounts to women when they had a routine mammogram.  I told them that since they make money exploiting women's breasts why not pay homage to healthy breasts and keeping them!  I called my idea...."Healthy Hooters".  So I'm still working on my campaign.  I had T-shirts made for us that have the slogan "Healthy Hooters" on them and we wear them to the restaurant after our exams.  Inevitably we get asked about the shirts and that opens the door for me to hit them up again.  We've gotten free appetizers almost every time we've worn them.  I just try to get the manager to promote the idea.  Anything to get women to have this very important exam.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Procrastination

When my daughters were in grade school they would volunteer me for everything.  I was homeroom mom every year and never missed a field trip but they volunteered me all the time without asking me.  So it shouldn't have been a surprise to get volunteered again by my 44 year old daughter.  Last week I got a call telling me she had volunteered me to tutor a young lady who is taking freshman English at the University.  The girl was having trouble understanding a writing assignment and my daughter said, "My mom can help you."

Well, I didn't mind at all and kept expecting to hear from the young lady any day but didn't hear from her until Friday.  She came to my house Friday evening and we discussed her assignment.  She had to write a rhetorical analysis of Jonathan Swift's essay A Modern Proposal.  The paper had to be a minimum of 5 pages.  After about an hour of working together I asked her when her assignment was due.  "Tomorrow" she replied!  Good grief................... She is taking the course online and she had to submit it before 12:00 Saturday night.  

I offered to review her final draft and told her to send it to me Saturday by email.  I didn't get it until 10:00 pm.....I edited the paper and sent it back.  I just heard from her today and she was elated to tell me she got an A. 

Well, I told her she was darn lucky and the next assignment she had better get with me as soon as she gets it.  I'm too old for this last minute stuff.
 

Friday, March 6, 2015

Friday musings

You know it is Friday when your mind starts to wander and you start thinking and exploring ideas outside the box.  A few days ago I read an article about natural burials.   

One option is a biodgradable cremation urn.

The ARKA Acorn Urn is intended to contain ashes after cremation. The Acorn Urn is made in the UK from recycled paper and other natural fibers. It's hand worked and sanded smooth in the ARKA workshop in Brighton, UK, and then overlaid in a moss-green mulberry bark paper dyed with natural color. Once buried, the natural fibers will decompose rapidly. Produced to UK regulation size - 10" high x 8" wide (220 cubic inches) - it's considered a large urn, adequate for most cremated remains

 Sustainability Profile
  • Recycled paper - 80% post-consumer fiber body
  • Renewable materials - outer paper mulberry bark
  • Non-toxic colors
  • Biodegradable in soil
  • Made in UK

How to use the natural Acorn Urn

Plant the urn about 1-2 feet deep in the earth, at least 3 feet away from the roots of any small bushes or young trees. The alkaline "ash" of the burned bones, mostly calcium phosphate and calcium carbonate, then returns slowly to the soil and will be used over time by the plants and surrounding soil web.

 In Italy two Italian designers are bringing a new meaning to "family tree."
 

Anna Citelli and Raoul Bretzel proposed a plan to make cemeteries more eco-friendly by replacing headstones with trees.
It's called "Capsula Mundi," and it aims to replace coffins with egg-shaped burial pods.
The deceased would serve as fertilizer while encased in a biodegradable coffin underground.  Seeds are then planted on top of the pod, which will take the nutrients from the decomposing body to grow.


Now, I like both of these options but being buried in a pod in Oklahoma under a tree poses some serious consideration.  My state is known for its tornadoes and strong winds.  Winds that can uproot trees like they were popsicle sticks.  You see where I'm going with this?  One day I'm happy fertilizer for a magnificent Elm and the next I'm flying through the air dangling from the roots of a tree.

Or worse........what if I get Dutch Elm disease and my tree gets chopped down and I become toilet paper?  

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Retirement

I went to the doctor yesterday and got the results of my bone density test.  It appears I have osteoporosis so I guess I have one more medication to add to my ever growing list.  I'm surprised my orthopedic surgeon didn't discover this during my hip replacement but oh well.

The appointment went well and I'm controlling my diabetes so it was a good appointment.  I told him I am retiring this summer and the first thing he asked was, "Then, what are you going to do?He said people who retire get bored very quickly.  I felt like I needed to come up with something impressive like, well, I plan to finish writing my novel or I'll be working on the cure for Ebola.  Am I supposed to have the remainder of my years mapped out?  Every day I think about things I want to do after I retire.  I am looking forward to volunteering at the school where my daughters teach.  I want to volunteer in each of their classrooms one day a week.  I want to go to water aerobics (which classes only seem to occur during the work day).  

I'm also looking forward to just having time to get my brother to his psych. appointments and other doctor appointments.  It has been so hard to juggle his healthcare and work at the same time along with my own and Ron's.  Time is a valuable commodity.  

Ron and I also want to grow a vegetable garden.  I know a lot of people who seem to accomplish this and work but we are garden novices and I think we are going to have to work at it.  In other words we have no idea what we are doing.

Travel will be sparse since we can't get far from home and manage my brother's care but we hope to do a little traveling.  

So, even though I don't plan to get another job I don't plan to be bored either.  No matter what my doctor thinks.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

When The Price of Beauty is Too Steep!

Now I don't normally shop on the home shopping networks but last week I was channel surfing and something caught my eye.  This woman of a more mature age was holding this pink egg shaped device to her face and as she moved it upward so went her sagging skin.  She was only performing this voo doo on one side of her face so the comparison was quite amazing.  One eyebrow magically lifted to a high arch until she had a little Cruella De Ville look going on. 

Then as her sagging jowls began to rise I knew I had to have this wonderful machine.........so I placed my first HSN order. 

Well, I decided to keep my impulse purchase a secret until I was transformed so when the package arrived I hid it in the bedroom and waited for a little alone time to begin my journey back to the future.

On Saturday afternoon I sat in front of my mirror and read the instructions carefully while Bella, our dog, sat at my feet and looked at me with her head cocked to one side. I inserted the 9 volt battery in the machine as required.  I cleaned my face and applied the conductive gel to the area I wanted to lift to the Heavens.  I chose to work on the lines that as I have aged make me resemble a marionette.  You know the ones that go down each side of the mouth like Howdy Doody. 

So, after putting on the gel and cranking up the machine.  (I had a choice of 3 settings and figured that if the lowest setting worked then why not go for the highest which in my world would only help me achieve my goal faster). I placed the cute little pink paddles on my face making sure the four metal prongs were strategically located just above my marionette lines on either side of my upper lip.  Then I turned it on.  All I can say is OMG what in the Sam Hell,  my eyes started watering profusely and my upper lip turned inside out.  The dog was barking like I had never heard her before and she was scratching at the bedroom door in an effort to escape. Thank God the machine had a default setting that shut it off after 90 seconds because in my state of dilerium I couldn't pull my hands away from my face.

By the time it was over my lips felt like they had been shot up with Novacain.  My upper lip weighed 88 pounds.  I had no control over the drooling and my sense of smell was gone.  I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head of which I can only assume came from the burnt hair on my upper lip.  And to my dismay I still looked like a marionette only now I had four prong marks emphasizing the lines like exclamation marks!

So, I'm packing up my purchase and preparing to send it back.  I had to finally tell Ron what I had done since he wouldn't stop asking me why my lip was twitching.  He was laughing like a hyena until I told him to stop......I said, " if they had advertised it as a male "enhancer" every man in the country would have prong marks on their @#$%."

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The reluctant matriarch



It was a sad day when I have become the matriarch of the family.  The day my mother died and the baton was handed down to me.  Me!  How can I be the matriarch?   I’m the one who was always afraid of the dark.  I don’t know how to make bread from scratch so don’t call me for recipes.  I can’t tell you the names of all our long lost relatives.  I am not the history keeper.  I can't name plants or flowers and haven't got a clue how to grow a garden.  I don’t know any funny stories about days gone by.   I never said I wanted to be the matriarch that was my mother’s job.  I didn’t sign-up for this job I inherited it.  It actually makes me a little nervous.  I’m not sure I can live up to the expectations of those younger than myself.  But wait, what am I worried about…there is no one to ask me questions about the “olden days”.  I am not even a grandmother.  Now I’m just plain sad!