Candid Camera

Cheesing It Up

 

I'm what you call camera shy!  I HATE, HATE, HATE to have my picture taken.  I always make sure I'm the one BEHIND the camera not in front of it.  I have cleverly avoided family snapshots for years and my family has tried and tried to catch me to no avail.

But, I was outwitted yesterday by my husband.  I forget that phones have cameras in them so I was not at all suspicious when my husband pointed his phone at me.  I'm not growling as it appears in the photo I was actually giving him a big cheesy smile.......... not thinking it would be caught on film. 

So my streak  is over.....I have been caught.   Way to go Ron!

Gus the lawn boy

A nice place to watch the world go by!

This is the handiwork of our 11 yr old lawn boy!

One day while Ron was in the hospital a cute young boy came by with a flier looking for lawns to mow.  He is about 5 feet tall and skinny as a rail.  He wears huge horn rimmed glasses and a safari hat.  I doubt he weighs 80 lbs weight.  I wasn't sure if he was even big enough to push a mower.  But his funny personality and the name of his business made it a no brainer......I had to hire him.   His business slogan was "My name's not Juan but I'll mow your lawn".

Gus (Juan) not only mows the yard but he cleaned out my flower bed and put in new stone pavers and mulch.  (His dad gave him a hand) but it looks great and I'm so impressed how hard this boy works.

God is listening.........................

You know sometimes God hears us and you know that He is totally in charge and leading us.  I randomly looked online today for some kind of adult apartment complex and the first thing that popped up was an adult assisted living facility which are usually way more expensive than we can afford.  But this one is income based......The resident only pays rent + electric (which they said averages $35.00 - 50.00 per month).  There are activities, movies, etc. available for residents.  It has over 850 sq. feet. Living room, dining, kitchen, bedroom, laundry and accessible bathroom.  It's on the 3rd floor (they have elevators) and it overlooks the Owen Stadium......Oklahoma Sooner Football.....that's a big deal for Mike.  He can watch his big screen tv and hear and see the roar of the crowd!!!!!!!!

Normally there is a waiting list but they have an apartment available on November 1st.  We are going tomorrow to see it and possibly put a deposit down.   I think God has answered my prayer!

Father's Day Weekend

What a whirlwind of a weekend.  I got to spend some time working in the yard on Saturday and it was enjoyable.  I haven't been able to do much outside in awhile so I really enjoyed getting in the dirt.  We had our front flower bed weeded and new mulch and paver border put in and it really looks nice.  I really like the way it turned out.  I purchased some flower and filled the window boxes and they look really good.

Sunday, my daughter, her husband and my great niece Sophie came to Mike's and we tackled the yard and the inside of the house.  Sophie was a great worker and she and I cleaned inside and talked, talked, talked while Julie and Larry tackle the underbrush in the front yard.  Ron kept Mike company inside.

I hired Sophie to spend one day a week with Mike this summer.  She's going to do some light house keeping, help him with lunch, and just keep him company from 10am - 4pm one day a week.  She's planning on getting a checkerboard and getting him to play some games.  I really hope it works out.  It will give her some money for school and it will really help me out this summer.   

We are checking on a new independent living apartment here in town for 62 and over that is income based.  I think it would be a perfect transition if we are unable to get Mike in a nursing home at this time.   Ron is calling about it this morning to see if there is a waiting list and get information on the requirements etc.

Now I'm back to work so I can sit down for awhile..........

It's A Grand Old Flag...................

I have to say that venting yesterday really helped but also hearing another perspective was what sealed the deal.  I thank each and every person who took the time to comment.  Sometimes it is just helpful to listen to someone with a completely unbiased point of view.  I can't tell you how much that helped me.  I think I knew it all along but I was just reacting emotionally.  I absolutely do not have the right to tell my brother what to do with a gift from our parents.  

In spite of my new found awareness I was unable to sleep last night.  I wasn't thinking about Mike, Butch or even Ron's cancer.  I just couldn't turn my brain off.  It was going from this to that but to nothing in particular.  My body said sleeeeeep but my brain said no way!  I think I finally fell asleep around 4am and then the alarm rang at 6:00.  It's gonna be a long day!

Today is Flag Day - Olga's birthday!  Happy Birthday Olga and my sweet brother Mike's birthday!  My daughters are taking him out for a birthday lunch!   Happy Birthday all you Flag Day babies...............

Airing the dirty laundry

I know it is inappropriate to vent every emotion one has on the internet.  My brain knows it but sometimes I think I'm going to explode if I don't get it out of my head.  

I've been trying my best to figure out how I'm going to financially take care of Mike.  He is on disability (approximately $800/month).  That is not enough to maintain the 2,000 square foot home left to my two brothers and myself in which Mike currently lives alone.  The taxes, insurance and upkeep are just too much.  So, my plan B, if a nursing home will not take Mike...was to find a small apartment where I could budget his expenses a little better.  I need to use the money from selling the house to do that but I need my older brother to kick in his share of the house the same as I'm willing to do.  Unfortunately he has informed me that "he needs HIS money".  I can use my part and Mike's to take care of Mike.

I just felt so hurt....it's OK for me to have all the responsibility of our brother but without the financial means to do it.  I wish my mother had not left the house to all three of us but to Mike only.  It would have made this so much easier.  

I've been trying to tell myself to let it go.  I just have to realize that I'm alone in this and that I just have to keep doing what I think is right.

How Many Balls Can I Juggle?

I've never been very coordinated and I certainly am not athletic but I'm developing quite a talent juggling.  I juggle care giving for two people while working a full time job.  I maintain two homes, my own and my brother's house. I manage the finances for both households.  I cook meals for my husband and myself and cook separate meals for my brother who has food allergies that include milk, cheese, tomatoes, grains (except white flour) and MSG to name a few.  I keep all the balls in the air at all times because if I look away for a second they will all come crashing to the floor.  The only time I take for myself is for prayer because without Him I would simply pull the covers over my head and give up.  

My husband and family are constantly telling me that I CAN'T do all that I do and that I'm going to kill myself but they never give me an alternative.  I know that my brother needs 24 hour nursing care but no one tells me where I will find it.  So far we have been denied by 3 homes because of his psychiatric diagnosis.  Yet, they still keep telling me I can't take care of him.  What do they expect me to do, walk away?  

The only argument that Ron and I have ever had is over Mike.  I realize that Mike is not Ron's brother.  I also know that Mike is the reason Ron never wanted to get married during the ten years we dated.  He knew that some day I would be responsible for my brother.  He says that he accepted that a long time ago but he struggles with it and I can understand why.

I held my mother in my arms as she took her last breath.  The last thing I said to her was, "Don't worry about Mike, I will always take care of him, it is ok to go."  No one else was in that room and no one else made that promise....it was me.  I will die trying to keep it!