Ghost Dog

Things are getting better around here.  Ron picked up Bella's ashes Monday and just having her here seems to have helped Ron accept the fact that she's gone.  My daughter Julie is making a shadow box frame to house her little jersey, collar and some other favorite things along with her picture.  My daughter Jamie is making a book for Ron with all the pictures of Bella.  

I still find myself expecting to see her when I open the door.  Ron and I have both felt her at night while we are sleeping.  Ron said he felt her little body curled up tucked against his stomach.  He said he didn't want to move for fear the feeling would go away.  I have felt her walk across my legs.  Oh how our pets become like our children.  She was 14 1/12 years old and Ron called her his "baby girl".  And what distinct and individual personalities they have.

I had been feeling so good for over a month.  No wheezing or coughing and then suddenly it's back.  I saw the pulmonologist Wednesday and I have bronchitis and another infection.  Back on an antibiotic and albuterol and the works.  The Dulera inhaler we learned is not on my insurance formulary and will cost $389.00.  I am pretty sure I can get it at the Indian Clinic but I have to see their doctor first.  I couldn't get an appointment until the 29th and my sample runs out in 3 days.  Caught in between.  There is no generic form of Dulera so I found a coupon site for a free trial but the site is down for routine maintenance.  Of course it said it would just be a few hours and that was 24 hours ago.  I did find a few more coupons that said up to 80% off or 60% off but I don't know if they will be accepted.  Going to find out today.

All this leads me to fear what may be coming next by this insane President and his administration.  Talks of cuts to Medicare and Medicaid along with cuts to Social Security just make my blood boil.  I'm fortunate enough to have the Indian Health Services.  I can't get everything there but just being able to get 90% of my medications free is a huge help.  I can't imagine how other people who are not as fortunate get by.  The co-pays alone would be difficult.

I saw a story about two sisters with breast cancer.  They were both born in Ontario but one sister moved to California with her husband.  The sister in Ontario wrote an article about their shared experience with breast cancer.  She had her surgery and treatment and then just concentrated on getting well.  Her sister had the same surgery and treatment but had to deal with the stress of reviewing pages and pages of bills and matching them to EOB's to see if the charges were legitimate.  All while going through chemo and radiation.  Her final cost was over $15,000 out of pocket.  Two completely different experiences.

People have to choose everyday between paying the electric bill, food or seeing a doctor.  Unfortunately too many avoid the doctor for fear of the cost.  That's not right in an industrialized country like America.  But that will only get worse as we continue to be controlled by the upper 0.01%.  The distribution of wealth is unbelievable and it's the power that comes with that kind of wealth that continues to dictate policy in this country.  I told Ron that soon it will be like we are the serfs under the power of 0.01%.

Please tell me there is hope to turn this around?