The Elusive Butterfly

You might wake up some mornin'
To the sound of something moving past your window in the wind
And if you're quick enough to rise
You'll catch a fleeting glimpse of someone's fading shadow
Out on the new horizon
You may see the floating motion of a distant pair of wings
And if the sleep has left your ears
You might hear footsteps running through an open meadow

Don't be concerned, it will not harm you
It's only me pursuing somethin' I'm not sure of
Across my dreams with nets of wonder
I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love

Just think about that.  How many people do you know are struggling to feel happiness?  How many people do you know are searching for love?  In my family alone I can name several.

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

What does it mean to have freedom in your heart?  To me it means emptying yourself of the past hurts and disappointments, not only by others but yourself as well.

When you are dwelling on the past you are not present in the now and to me that means you are missing the best part of your life.

I remember how much time I wasted after my divorce asking the question why?  I just wanted an explanation.  I wanted my ex-husband to tell me why he stopped loving me, why he had an affair, why he left his children and why he was never in their lives again.  But it finally dawned on me that no matter what answer he gave me it wasn’t going to make me feel any better or excuse the way he treated his children.  That’s when I realized there was no point in asking it anymore and that is when I stopped looking backwards.  

It was a pretty good lesson overall because I continued to go through life refusing to look back.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes, I’ve had my fair share of crazy relationships but I don’t spend one minute looking back with regret.  Every mistake, every relationship, every experience brought me to where I am today and it is a really good place.  I try to keep my heart open and free to embrace all the wonderful things yet to come.