Embrace the moment!

You'd think getting new furniture would be fun and I'm sure it is for most people.  Me....I have a little problem embracing change.  It takes me a little while to feel at home again amongst new stuff.  Not to mention I have such a small house it is hard to find furniture to fit the scale.  I have a very tall husband and he doesn't fit the scale....but what are you gonna do.

For two years Ron has been sitting on a dainty red checked wing back chair but we finally purchased two matching recliners.  Ron's in heaven.  I told him I had to be sure the marriage was going to last before I could commit to furniture.  Of course now the sofa looks old but I'm not replacing anything else.

It has definitely been an adjustment having a man in the house.  My home was a feminine domain for the past 34 years.  But we are slowly transforming it into a gender neutral zone where we can both be comfortable.  Oh the sacrifices we will make for love! 

Now, this is going to sound morbid and morose but if I'm being honest here I think I've been afraid of change for more than one reason.  I've been afraid, of all things, of a chair that is just him.  The fear is that if his cancer takes him away from me then there will be this visual reminder that he isn't here anymore.  An empty chair.  If I left things the way they have always been then somehow it would lessen the reminder of what I've lost.  

Sounds crazy I know.  But the fear of losing someone can make you a little crazy. It's amazing what lengths we will go to in order to protect the heart.  Loss is inevitable so we have to embrace the moment while we have it. 

But now.....we are just two old married people with matching recliners.  It's nice to look across the room and see him sprawled out in his lazy boy!  He finally looks permanent.