SUGGESTIONS FOR A HAPPY LIFE

1. Accept that you don’t do things exactly the way everyone else does. Embrace that. Accept that sometimes life is too hard. Just cry, and move through it. Don’t accept things that aren’t yours, like misdirected shame and blame. Accept everything you are and nothing you are not.

2. Ease your way out into the world; don’t thrust into it. Ease into a new job; ease into a new relationship. Learn to let things take their natural course. When you see someone struggling, offer to ease her way. When you see that you are struggling, remember to ease up on yourself.

3. Walk in the morning so you’ll start your day on the right foot. Walk to solve any problem, answer any questions. Walk barefoot whenever you can. Walk on the grass instead of the side-walk. Walk tall. When he won’t listen, walk away. When someone criticizes the people or things that matter to you most, walk out. Walk to the store, walk to the movies, walk to work. Walk where you usually drive, and notice all the things you’ve missed seeing.

4. Guess if you don’t know. Filling out some insignificant form? Just guess. Throw away your scale and guess your weight. Guess within 10 or 20 pounds and leave it at that. When the officer asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” guess low. When your boss asks, “How much of a raise do you think you deserve?” guess high.

5. Treasure the value of everything that really matters to you. Treasure your time, and take care not to kill it. Treasure the friend who never judges you and who always carries you in her heart. Treasure your health, and do whatever you can to polish it up to a dazzling glow.

6. Change something about your life. Make a big change or a small one. Change into someone entirely new. Strip yourself of old, tired patterns, Change the route you take to work. Change the color of your hair. Change the way you’ve arranged those pictures on the shelf. Be brave enough to change your view. And when those around you cry, “Change back!” just refuse to change your tune.

7. Insist when you have to. Insist that you be given the opportunity to speak. Insist that others be given the same. Insist that they listen. Insist that the people around you be civil and respectful. Insist on a square deal. Insist that people look at you when they talk to you. Insist on nothing less from yourself. When polite isn’t quite enough and demanding seems over the top, insist.

8. Decline graciously, gratefully, steadily. Decline when you are over committed, when it’s the wrong thing at the wrong time or when you just don’t want to. Decline the invitation without telling the whole long story. Learn to say no. It gets easier every time. Thanks. No. Sorry, I simply must decline.

9. Renew your passion for being alive. Renew your spirit. Take a long walk, a short trip, a week’s retreat. Renew friendships. Renew your vows, the promises you’ve made to yourself and others.

10. Balance when you find yourself teetering in one direction in your life. Balance your work time with playtime. Balance your social life with quiet, uninterrupted periods of solitude. Balance your diet. If you’ve been giving too much, let everyone know you’re ready to receive. When you feel you’ve been balancing too many things for too long, put some down.

11. Mend things when they are frayed and torn. Mend yourself when you’ve come apart at the seams. Sit down with that basket of clothes and mend them. Bring our your threads and needles and buttons. Put your pieces back together with a steady stitch. Mend your broken heart. Piece together all the beautiful squares and circles and diamonds that you are. Find how your mothering self and your child self. your business self and your artistic self, can all fit together in a colorful, integrated whole, like a patchwork quilt. Make amends. Mend that hole where you have let parts of yourself be sucked away.

12. Befriend someone you don’t know. Strike up a conversation, and go where it leads you. Befriend a child, an older person, befriend a friendly dog. Befriend a person who seems more lost that you can ever imagine being.

13. Be absolutely every bit of everything you are. Be tough, be soft, be dramatic, be subdued. Be a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Be happy when you feel like it, and be sad when you’re down. Be who you are - not who they told you should be. Be willing to be yourself. Be ready to drop your protective armor. Be in the moment.

14. Appreciate your friends. Appreciate that a friend listens when you need to talk, need to be heard, need to cry. When friends are in short supply, appreciate being with yourself. Appreciate having a job where you don’t have to wear killer heels.

15. Observe everything around you. Just watch. Don’t try to figure out exactly why or how a bee drinks sweet nectar from a lilac. Just observe. Don’t stare, observe. Watch with the keen eyes of a stalking feline. Keep watching, and learn to see the invisible. Watch a swan move across a lake. Observe how effortless it seems - and remember that she’s swimming like crazy the whole time, just below the surface.

16. Forgive injuries or insults, and mean it. Learn the power of forgiveness. Forgive him for breaking your heart. Forgive her for telling everyone your deepest secret. Stop holding grudges, and forgive. Forgive yourself for being human, for not knowing all the answers all the time. Let the sweet and simple rain of forgiveness wash over you.

17. Learn more this year than you learned last year. Learn something different. As soon as you learn something, start teaching it to someone else.

18. Smile for no reason except that it will make you a happier person. Smile at a perfect stranger, at your beloved, at a child whose adults are too busy to smile. Smile broadly, shyly, mysteriously. Smile from ear to ear. Like a Cheshire cat’s, your smile will remain long after you are gone.

19. Whisper a lot. Discover how powerful this soft sound can be. When everyone else is shouting for attention, whisper. Whisper into a nearby ear. Say “I think you’re wonderful” or “You have chocolate smeared across your shirt.” Whisper in the morning, in the dark. Bend down and whisper to something much smaller than you. Once you learn to whisper, you may never need to shout again.

20. Reach a little further every day. Reach for a star, then reach for the moon. If you can’t quite reach your goal, move it a bit closer. Consider asking someone for a boost. Reach over and help someone who is struggling. When you think you’ve reached the end, reach out and touch a brand new beginning.

21. Yearn unashamedly for what you want. Yearn so much it hurts. Want it bad! See it everywhere you look, in your dreams and awake. Yearn for the touch of your beloved’s hand. Yearn for a beloved. Yearn to be alone, to be together. Yearn to be so entirely who you are that you’ll hardly recognize yourself.

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?


When my daughter, Julie, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Julie would say,
'And all girls.' As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Julie, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

Never too old to change.

I made myself a promise today that if I have nothing nice to say I will say nothing at all. It's not that I'm a a hateful person by nature but I can get caught up in the gossip and criticism of others. I hope it is not too late to change that unflattering habit. Criticism doesn't do one constructive thing if it is behind someone's back. I'm not sure what it accomplishes other than somehow making the speaker feel superior as well as the person willing to listen. The work place is just a breeding ground for petty gripes and complaints that often lead to gossip and criticism of others. It doesn't take long before it is reminiscent of the playgrounds we played on as children. Little girls gathering in a circle to whisper excluding one or two other little girls who just happened to be singled out for some minor grievance. I use girls as my example because let's face it......we're the guiltiest gender! I have to admire little boys and their ability to settle differences. They confront, do a little posturing (hopefully without going to blows) and then when the dust settles they run off together to play. Within an instant there is no sign of the dispute and all is forgotten. So I guess in spite of being made of sugar and spice and everything nice we could learn a thing or two from those creatures made of puppy dog tails!

Mirror, Mirror

Just a word to all those 30 somethings……. I remember when I was young, childless, a size 6 and still thought I was fat. I was quick to judge…”MY child will NEVER act like that” and “Look at that old woman trying to look young”. Well girls…I’m here to tell you the day will come when you too will see your mother’s face staring back at you in the mirror. You will hear her words come out of your mouth and wonder where did THAT come from. You will have days when you don’t recognize your own reflection because inside you feel the same as you did when you were just a girl. Your perfect children will sometimes act like little brats and shame you in public. You’ll find yourself buying that skirt that’s a little too short for your middle-aged thighs because you aren’t sure where you fit on the age spectrum. You’ll be made fun of by your adult children because you drive like a “grandma”. All these things will come to you in a blink of an eye so don’t waste one minute of your pretty and remember the words you have to eat will make you FAT!

The Bucket List

For Valentines day Ron and I went to see the movie, "The Bucket List," a touching, no-holds-barred adventure that shows it's never too late to live life to its fullest. It is a story about two men dying of terminal cancer. It revolved around Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) who a long time ago, during his freshman year philosophy class, the professor suggested that his students compose a "bucket list," a collection of all the things they wanted to do, see and experience in life before they kicked the bucket. But while Carter was still trying to define his private dreams and plans, reality intruded. Marriage, children, myriad responsibilities and, ultimately, a 46-year job as an auto mechanic gradually turned his concept of a bucket list into little more than a bittersweet memory of lost opportunities and a mental exercise he occasionally thought about to pass the time while working under the hood of a car. Meanwhile, corporate billionaire Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) never saw a list without a bottom line. He was always too busy making money and building an empire to think about what his deeper needs might be beyond the next big acquisition or cup of gourmet coffee. Then life delivered an urgent and unexpected wake-up call to both of them. Carter and Edward found themselves sharing a hospital room with plenty of time to think about what might happen next--and about how much of that was in their hands. For all their apparent differences, they soon discovered they had two very important things in common: an unrealized need to come to terms with who they were and the choices they'd made, and a pressing desire to spend the time they had left doing everything they ever wanted to do. The list wasn't just a mental exercise anymore. It was an agenda. So, against doctor's orders and all good sense, these two virtual strangers check themselves out of the hospital and hit the road together for the adventure of a lifetime--from the Taj Mahal to the Serengeti, the finest restaurants to the seediest tattoo parlors, the cockpit of vintage race cars to the open door of a prop plane--with just a sheet of paper and their passion for life to guide them. Adding and crossing items off their list while taking in the grandeur and beauty of the world, they will grapple with the difficult questions and the even more difficult answers that plague all of us. And, without even realizing it, become true friends. With humor, insight, heart...and a fair amount of attitude. Sometimes you just need a deadline to get your life in gear. One moment in the movie that remained with me was when Carter relayed to Edward while sitting atop a pyramid in Egypt that before someone is allowed to enter the Egyptian heaven the deceased must answer two questions. Have you had joy in your life and did you bring joy to others? I thought about the questions and knew that I had indeed had joy in my life and only needed to think of my two daughters. My first response to the second question was I hope so. Then I thought about it again and realized that perhaps just the sheer fact of my birth brought joy to my own parents and how fortunate I am to know that with more than a fair amount of certainty.

60 Things

60 Things You Probably Don't Care to Know

This is a little questionnaire that was sent to me.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
An umbrella for those unexpected showers....... (I sound so organized) but the truth is I just cleaned out my car and threw away the trash.

2. When was the last time you threw up
About 3 years ago......but let's not talk about it!

3. What's your favorite curse word?
s@#t

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
So far no one has been too humorous.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Answering these questions.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Reading my e-mail.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Eating lunch.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Hello

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
yes

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
water

12. What are you wearing right now?
khaki pants and red polo

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Jenny Craig's Breakfast Stuffed Sandwhich mmmmmmmmm

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope

15. When was the last time you ran?
To the bathroom about an hour ago.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Football about 2 years ago.

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
The contractor who is remodeling my bathroom.

19. Ever go camping?
unfortunately yes

20. Do you have a tan?
Are you kidding?

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
If by soda you mean diet coke....yes

25. What did your last IM say?
Don't have it.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope so

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working and tomorrow night going to the movies with Ron to see The Bucket List.

28. Where is your mom right now?
I don't know, she doesn't have a curfew.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
A door leading to my boss's office

30. What color is your watch?
silver with little heart charms......

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ?
The Crocodile Hunter and kangaroos.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Not only consider it but done it........a little eye job so I could see.

33. What is your birthstone?
Ruby

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit thedrive thru?
No fast food anymore but when I did it was usually drive thru.

35.How many kids do you want?
Do I want or have? 2

36. Do you have a dog?
nope

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Co-worker complaining about another co-worker.

38. Have you met anyone famous?
James Garner

39. Any plans today?
I have a friend coming over tonight for some girl talk.

40. How many states have you lived in?
one but technically I was alive when I visited other states so I guess I lived in a lot of states.

41. Ever go to college?
yes

42. Where are you right now?
here

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
e-mails that tell me I have to forward them to 12 people or be struck with a life time of bad luck, some type of medical emergency or death.

44. Last song listened to?
I was humming a minute ago does that count?

46. Are you allergic to anything?
dust

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
tennis shoes

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
No

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
Yeah, they envy my saggy behind.

51. What time is it?
8:15 am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes or facsimiles there of.

53. Do you eat healthy?
yes. I eat healthy IN ADDITION to eating crap.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Damage control

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
I don't think so

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
No. I've taken to answering the phone, "Hey Good Lookin'!"

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
59

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yes, but it was so long ago, they only had 5 flags

60. How did you get one of your scars?
See # 32

Renovation or Reservation?

We celebrated Ron's 59th birthday last night. He is officially older than me. I am going to enjoy that fact for the next 6 months. I treated him to a steak dinner at the Outback while I tried to stay on the side of healthy eating and ordered grilled shrimp. It wasn't my favorite meal but it was OK. The birthday boy enjoyed his and that's what counts.

I'm in the process of getting some work done in my house. Boy, am I out of touch with what it costs these days. I got an estimate just to re-tile the bathtub surround. The labor alone is $1300. I about croaked. There are so many things I want to get done but as usual the budget will not handle my entire wish list. Now I have to prioritize and my mind keeps changing as fast as my hair color. I just may forget the whole thing and spend the cash on a cruise!

We must remember this...a kiss is still a kiss...

My sweetie and I took a short road trip this past weekend. His great aunt passed away and we went to pay our respects. Though a somber occasion she was 90 years old and had a good life. After going to the funeral home we decided to grab a bite to eat at the 5 & Diner. It was a step back in time from the metalic exterior to the waitress's uniforms and bobby socks. There were black & white check tiles on the floor and each booth had its own jukebox. You could spin two tunes for a quarter. Though Ron and I met when we were 6 years old our first date didn't occur until some 50 years later. We were enjoying our time travel back to our youth and it was like having the high school date we never had. There we were feeling young and giddy just enjoying the nostalgic atmosphere. Ron handed me 2 quarters and I put them in the jukebox. I scanned through the hundreds of song titles and made my selections then Ron selected two songs of his own. We sat there waiting to hear our song choices play when Ron asked me what I had selected. After a brief pause I replied, "I don't remember". Ron thought for a moment and said he didn't remember what he chose either. Hmmmmm Now, that never happened in high school.

Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You ...

· You like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

· Your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

· Your knees buckle, but your belt won't

AND........................

OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

Full Circle

I guess it is true, life is a full circle. We come into the world wrinkled, toothless and sometimes bald and if we live a normal life span we will leave it in relatively the same condition. Under the age of 12 we get discounts at movies and restaurants and low and behold we get them again when we reach "senior" status. None of this really excited me that much until I started ordering from Denny's senior menu. Right up at the top of the menu it says in big, bold letters, "For Our Senior Friends". Friends mind you, not acquaintances, not diners, it says FRIENDS. I don't know about anyone else but that makes me want to order a "Grand Slam" just for the adventure of it and besides...it's among "friends". Now Ihop has a nice senior perk going but it is more on the practical side and doesn't have that personal quality. If you are over age 55 you can order two entrees for the price of one between the hours of 4 pm and 6 pm. My kids ask, "Who in the world wants to eat so early?" But I have no problem with it. I need the extra time to ward of acid reflux. That gets me to bed right on time. So between coupons and senior discounts I guess that makes me the cheapest date in town. My significant other assured me that I'm just more bang for the buck! Age does have its own reward!

Defies Dumbness?

I was watching tv this morning before coming to work and evidently only half listening. when a commercial for Oil of Olay came on and I thought I heard that their newest and certainly MOST improved product "Now Defies Dumbness"! WOW! What a concept. I got excited just thinking of what this could mean. How transforming! I thought if we could just purchase drums of the stuff we could cure the woes of the world. We could set up conveyor belts and just start dunking! We could start with Hollywood, or better yet, Washington. Just line em up.......first Brittany then her ex UPS or is it Fed Ex....I can't remember. Or better yet, since there are so many who could benefit lets just line them up alphabetically. Everyone knows someone who could stand a dip in the anti dummy vat. Especially if laziness and dumbness go hand-in-hand. I wouldn't mind seeing my ex-husband do a lap or two in the elixir of enlightenment. Nah, why waste it? But....my elation was short lived and as in the case of most things that seem too good to be true this was no exception. It seems that Oil of Olay has only found a way to defy DRYNESS! Back to the lab I guess.

Satin Sheets

I’ve never owned a set of satin sheets. I’ve never been seduced by the promise of the luxurious, silky smooth feel of red satin sheets. There’s just something about sliding all over my bed like some out of control carnival ride that doesn’t induce visions of peaceful slumber. I have a fear of sneezing and shooting across the room. God knows what would happen if I passed gas………! At my age anything that might result in some type of orthopedic injury just isn't worth the risk.