Sunday, June 2, 2013

Surgery Update

It has been a long four days but Ron is doing great!  I can honestly say it was only a little uncomfortable the first day and that ended early evening.  He's just done great ever since.

Today they removed one of his chest tubes and his epidural.  He was worried that the pain would start once the epidural was gone but so far he just feels a little sore.  Tomorrow they will remove the last chest tube and I'm thinking he will come home on Tuesday.....ahead of schedule.

The spot was malignant and it was renal cell carcinoma so we have now confirmed that his original cancer has spread.  His surgeon said it was probably always there but this type of cancer does some strange things.  As long as the original tumor was growing it put out a hormone that suppressed the other cancer cells.  When you remove it then other cells start growing.  Now we've removed another cancer and we should expect it to pop up somewhere again.  This was hard news but we will just keep fighting it as long as Ron can tolerate surgeries.

The hospital has been great and his care has been excellent.  About an hour after he was taken to ICU he had to be evacuated because of tornado threat.  Then he was evacuated again the second day because this time we could see the tornado from his window.  It came very close to the hospital and our home.  Then we were hit with flooding but fortunately we are ok.  I don't know how much more this poor state can take and especially Moore, Oklahoma.....

So Ron is one tough cookie....he survived lung surgery and tornadoes. 

I am personally exhausted trying to take care of Mike and Ron.  I came home and cooked several meals for Mike.  He's using a walker and still looks beat up.  He refuses to go to a nursing home and I'm just not able to focus on him right now.  It's a mess.  Maybe when I have time to regroup I will figure something out.  I'm just feeling very resentful toward him right now and I know that's not right.  He's just sucking the life out of me..  The first night I came home to sleep after being up more that 36 hours straight Mike called me at 1:39 am.  It scared me to death because I thought it was the hospital.  I was really aggravated and kind of lost my patience with him.  He was awake so of course he called me.  He lied and said that Butch told him to call he knew better.  I know it is his mental illness that makes him so self-centered but it still drives me crazy!  I just needed someone to think of me for a change.

Then my niece called and said she was drinking.  It wasn't the best time to use me as a patience left.  I told her she has to make up her mind to either get busy living or get busy dying.  The doctor told her if she doesn't stop it will kill her and it won't take long.  I said if she chooses to drink then she at least needs to prepare her daughters for living without her.  It's her decision.  I felt so mean but I'm tired of taking care of everyone else....they have do take care of themselves. 

I'm afraid God is going to have to do an intervention on me!~


Betty said...

One of these days, someone will put you up for sainthood. I don't know where you find the patience and strength for everything you're saddled with. I admire you.

Deb said...

It's a relief to hear Ron came through the surgery okay and you haven't been "twistered" away. Time to get a "minutes" cell phone from 7/11 and give the # to Ron and the hospital, unplug the other phones and let them go to voice mail. "I'm sorry but the crisis centre is having a crisis and is closed until further notice."

You've done your share. At a time when they should be supporting you... well, nuff said. Take care of yourself and Ron and whether Mike *wants* to go into care of not, he is not really rational enough to make that decision. You need to do what's best for all of you. He may find he's happier there. Lots of people are.

My objective is not to be bossy from afar, but to offer you an objective, "here's what reasonable" viewpoint, so you don't need to feel as if you have failed Mike if you can't continue to care for him. You've gone above and beyond. Better to get him settled now, while he can still understand and adapt to a new home, than wait until he has little cognitive function left and is frightened by being moved to a strange place with strange caregivers.

And sending hugs and hope for a good night's rest from Calgary.

Olga said...

I am so glad to hear that Ron is bouncing back.
Please don't feel badly about not having anything left for your brother and niece. You have been near super human in dealing with all that is your life. Maybe God is now telling you to put some of the burden in his hands now. Surely, the lesson of the tornadoes is that some things are just plain out of human control.

Meryl Baer said...

Glad to hear Ron is recovering well. Time to think about what is best for you. Sounds like Mike is incapable of making the right choices for himself or others - take control and in the long run everyone will be the better for it. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I have written so many messages to you but were never satisfied that I was saying what I wanted to say...until now. Deb said it exactly right and I hope you will take it to heart. Gladys

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