Friday, September 4, 2009


Today - I finally got the new carpet installed in my bedroom. Haven't gotten everything put back in the room yet but at least it is done.

Ron is hanging in there. He's going to be on the antibiotic until the day of surgery. He gets tired really fast. He kept me company today while the carpet was being put in but I could tell he was really fatigued. We've just been trying to get all the errands and things done before next week. I had my car fixed (some kind of bearing was worn out) and I have the foundation repair company coming out Tues. to adjust the piers around my house. In a way all the little jobs are keeping up busy and our minds off the surgery. A good coping mechanism I guess.

Ron is still having trouble talking about the cancer and hasn't told any of his friends yet. The only person he has talked to is his daughter. I know his friends would be a great support to him but I guess he'll tell them when he is ready.


Arkansas Patti said...

Telling your friends is hard. You don't want their pity or fear. Most will be right there for you while others pull away, suddenly not knowing how to act around you.
Women are big with support groups which are wonderful. Suddenly you are with people in the same boat and it is comfortable.
If there is a male support group in your area, maybe he would go. The groups don't sit around talking about cancer, you are just able to finally look in the eyes of someone who knows where you are and is surviving. It is comfortable.
Good thoughts still coming for Ron.

oklhdan said...

Good advice Patti, I'm trying to remember that men deal with things differently form women. What you said totally makes sense. I've stayed away from the subject unless Ron initiates it. I do hope he reaches out to his male friends though when he is ready.

Anonymous said...

I love your story.
I am married to a 'quiet man' who seldom shares. We are opposites, and I'm amazed we have remained married for over 40 years.
He was treated for prostate cancer over 5 years ago and is/has been cancer free ever since.
It was a scary time. He took it in stride, did not complain, or draw attention to himself.
If it was me, I'd want flowers, phone calls and sobbing friends at my beck and call ... get well cards plastered on every inch of of my sick room wall.
Hope you guys enjoy snow cones in the park next year. . . til then
good luck.

oklhdan said...

Thank you Helen, it is always good to hear about others who have come through this and made it out the other side. I'm looking forward to many more snow cones with Ron.

kenju said...

A support group for men with cancer could be invaluable, as the stroke support group was for mr. kenju. You learn how each person copes - and it really helps.

oklhdan said...

I think I'll suggest a support group after Ron has recovered from the surgery. Thanks for all the suggestions. Experience is the best teacher.