Friday, April 10, 2009

At Peace

My mother passed away this morning at 10:10 a.m. I began giving her morphine every 15 minutes at about 12:00 a.m. It was hard to watch her struggle but it reminded me of just how precious life is and how hard it can be to leave it behind. We realized that we were about to run out of morphine at 9:00 and so I asked Ron to take my brother and go pick up the prescription that Hospice had called in to the pharmacy. It occurred to me that perhaps my mother was having difficulty because Mike was in the house and she didn't want him to see her die. After they left I climbed up in the bed with her and held her and whispered to her that Mike was with Ron and that it was OK to go. I promised I'd look after him and then she took one final gasp of life and she was gone. I have never had such a spiritual experience in my life nor felt so priviledged. The Hospice nurse said, "She chose you." I never thought about a person choosing who to be with when they died. Her words touched me deeply. I was so proud of Mike. He was very strong and is doing remarkably well. I have to write her obituary tonight and then I will begin writing her euology. We are planning to have a memorial service here at the Presbyterian Church and then we will take her ashes to Poteau to put with my father's ashes. I'm so tired tonight but I'm very much at peace because I know where she is and I know that we did the very best we could to make her passing as peaceful as possible.


kenju said...

"I have never had such a spiritual experience in my life nor felt so privileged."

I know exactly what you mean. I may have told you about being with a dear friend when she died.

I am glad that your mother is at peace now. From what you say, her last days were very special for both of you. You should be very content to know that you gave her a good passage.

kenju said...

Oh, and you were right about her going on Good Friday. Your instincts were good.

Megan said...

I am so sorry for your loss. If you need anything, please let me know.

krinhoh said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, and honored to share this part of your life. I have faith in many things, but most of all that we are never long separated from those we love. And so, until your lives find themselves again in the same place, may your souls remain connected. Peace.