Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney from CBS
60 Minutes.

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they
think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red
lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

Number please

Some days I'm amazed by the things I remember and stunned by the number of things I forget. I can remember my phone number from when I was 6 years old. It started out a simple 3834. That was the time when you'd pick up the heavy receiver to the bulky, black phone and be greeted by a pleasant voice saying, "Number please". Sometime later I guess our town grew and pre-fixes were required. Our number changed to Jefferson 4 3834. This was followed by rotary phones which required dialing JE4-3834 and later replaced with 321-3834. I even remember my grade school girlfriend's phone number 321-4142. Why? I have no idea. I can't remember why I walked into my kitchen but I remember a phone number from 53 years ago. I can remember every number assigned to me like my social security number and those of my two daughters, my zip code, area code and home phone number, cell phone number, bank account, pass words, debit card #, employee ID, all the phone numbers of my friends and family but I can't remember what I'm supposed to do an hour from now. I think my memory bins are so full of old information I have no more room for anything new. Don't know...just a theory.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Fun with Tele-marketers

Sometime in the 60’s when Olan Mills, the traveling photography studio, was still bothering people at supper time by calling every house in America our phone rang and my dad answered. The conversation went like this:

Olan Mills: “Hello sir, I’m calling on behalf of Olan Mills Studio and we would like to offer you a free 11X14 portrait. When would you like to schedule your sitting?”
Dad: ”No thanks, I’m too ugly.”
Olan Mills (stammering) “Well sir, how about your wife or children, wouldn’t you like a portrait of your family for your wallet?”
Dad: “Hell no, they are all too damn ugly, the whole damn family is ugly. Not a looker in the bunch.”

No wonder I grew up with self-image issues.

Happy Birthday To Me

I had a terrific birthday and enjoyed my 3 days off work. The best part about birthdays is doing what ever in the heck you want to do and no one can argue with you because well, let's face it, It's Your Birthday! My daughters and their spouses had dinner with Ron and I Saturday night. I got a $50.00 gift certificate to Lowe's...my favorite DIY store where I immediately went to purchase plants for my window boxes. There were only a few be-dragled plants left and I don't know if they will survive the 101 degree weather we are having but what the heck....I'll give it a shot. My brother called to wish me a happy birthday and to remind me that now I'm only 1 year younger than him. I said....at least I'm still younger and always will be! I was reminded several times over the weekend that I'm now in my last year of my fifties. Then there was the great mathematical debate about when the year actually starts or something like that. How the year 2000 wasn't really the millinium but that's about where I stopped listening. I'm just happy to be here and don't really care about the number of years I've inhabited the earth as long as I just keep on inhabiting!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I'm taking off work tomorrow for a 3 day weekend. It's the least I can do for myself since after all it is my birthday weekend. I have no plans so far. Ron has to work Sunday but should be off in time to do something. I have to go renew my driver's license this afternoon before I forget.

Do Bears @#$%* in the Woods? Evidently!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Random Thoughts

My ramblings have no clear destination. I just start talking about the first thought that clutters my brain. It reminds me of my phone conversations with my brother. My phone rings and I say, "Hello". He responds as if in mid thought, "These shoes are really comfortable". He begins each conversation as if I were somehow privileged to the thoughts in his head through some sort of psychic connection. So my relationship with him is always in mid conversation and time and space are irrelevant.

Now I have always kept a journal and have written daily since I was about 7 years of age. That would be 52 years of putting my thoughts on paper. I have observed that this type of journaling is much different with much less censorship. I think it is due to the speed. I can type much faster than I can write. There is also something about the incriminating paper version which could be picked up and read by anyone that results in a self-imposed censorship. This actually seems ludicrous since posting on the web can be seen by strangers all over the world. It may be public in nature yet it still retains a feeling of anonymity.

Today is a slow day. I have no meetings scheduled and my desk is clear. Whenever I'm caught up like this I start wishing to be someplace else or I start thinking about organizing other people. I have wanted to organize one of my co-workers for the last 7 years. He is the finance man for the hospital. He is the most unorganized person in the facility and if you give him anything it will be lost forever in the sea of papers on his desk. I have actually had dreams about putting together filing systems and organizing his work space. Gad.....I really need to spice up my life!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Do Overs

This past weekend I was thinking about reincarnation and some of the different philosophies on the subject. I am currently reading the book, Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss. It is a true story about his experience with a patient and past-life regression therapy. The book is interesting but I am certainly not schooled on the concept of reincarnation but I’ve been interested over the years. I think it was especially inviting during those periods in my life when I felt a sense of hopelessness. The times when I felt that life just wasn’t ever going to get any better. It was at those times that the idea of getting a chance to do it over again and perhaps “get it right” was a comforting thought. In the next life I’d be sure to be successful in love and remain a size 6 (might as well get everything right) and not get married until AFTER I finished my education. But I guess we all wish for a “do over” at some point in our lives. We know that sometimes in life we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again if we don’t learn from them. We’ve all seen people pick the wrong woman or man time and time again and each one a carbon copy of the last. But there is always hope…and that hope is that when we know better we will do better. That to me is the appeal of reincarnation. An opportunity to hope that this ISN’T all there is. We are on this earth for just a brief time but we are growing and learning hopefully all the time. It seems ironic that by the time we have gained any wisdom we have reached the end of our life cycle. It would almost seem reasonable that if we were to return again with just a little bit of that prior knowledge to build upon we might just get it right. I suppose reincarnation is the ultimate in recycling.

Moral Inventory

Someone close to me shared the fact that she has joined Ala-non. She needed support to help heal from her husband's past problems with alcohol. She was in the process of completing an assignment to conduct a "searching and fearless moral inventory" of herself. WOW....now that is an assignment. I'm not sure many people would be able to do that and remain open and honest with themselves. As part of her assignment she was asked to contact friends and family and request they list 6 characteristics about her. Since Ala-non is an anonymous organization she decided to tell her family and friends she was in a creative writing class and this was for a class assignment. According to her she now has to include "liar" as another of her character flaws.

Turning 59

I'm turning 59 years of age this Sunday. I'm not disturbed by that fact in the least. It definitely beats any alternative and besides age is just a number. Since we are all living longer I guess we'd better get accustomed to these higher numbers. My only regret is that I didn't take better care of myself when I was younger. Like most young people I guess I thought I was invincible. I think the best defense against aging is attitude! I choose to have a positive attitude and not dwell on things of which I have no control. Laughter really is the best medicine and I try to do as much of it as possible. A big smile is better than botox...it's an instant face lift and the more you do it the better you feel. I choose to believe this is the best time of my life, a new chapter waiting to be written.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Never too old to learn new tricks!

I've been learning how to use my digital camera that I've had for 3 years but never used. Thank you Jamie for having the patience to teach me how. I grabbed my camera and took a picture of my sweet 90 year old mother and my goofy brother. Here they are for all the world to see.


I do not have a green thumb but I've been working on my front yard all summer. I started out with NO grass and a mess. I had to remove all my bushes because they were dead and basically start over. So far I think I'm making progress. I planted some small holly bushes and am finally growing some grass. Now if I can keep from killing everything I'll be OK. Oh...notice the lovely cox cable running over my window and down the front. Lovely isn't it??????? sarcasm!

Friday, July 18, 2008

I want one of these! I really like the surrey 4 passenger but I wouldn't be able to get anyone in my family to ride it in with me. Or this aerodynamic, two-seater that has a seven speed transmission, differential rear axle, adjustable seating, disc brakes, electric hybrid technology, weighs under 125 lbs and sells for less than any Surrey bike on the market? This model steps outside the bounds of the leisure cycle, rental business and into alternative transportation. With its three-wheel design, light weight aerodynamic body, 7 speed transmission and optional hybrid technology, this model is a "green" alternative for short trips around town previously reserved for the family car. Now wouldn't that be fun to toodle around in?

Linda and me. What is up with my hair? It looks like a dye job gone bad. Oh well, nature has a funny sense of humor.

One of my birthday presents. My daughter Julie drew this for me. It is both the girls and their husbands plus their dog children. How cute is that?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The technological age, what a fantastic time to be young. All this information at your fingertips. There is no excuse for ignorance anymore. Every college student should be an A student. With the click of a button you can access information on any subject imaginable. You don’t have to go to the library and try to figure out the catalog system just so you can spend hours trying to find a book in hopes that it will contain the information you need. Sometimes I wonder if it is too easy but I don’t think so. Knowledge, no matter how it is acquired, is a good thing. I know the younger generation today gets a lot of criticism from people of my generation but maybe some of it is not warranted. I realize they move faster, think faster, and may seem a bit uncommitted but they have grown up in a much different world than the one I knew as a child. Why, I haven’t even grasped the differences between my baby boomer generation and generation X let alone the latest generation Y or Millenials.

Generation Xers were brought up on television, Atari 2600s and personal computers. The 51 million members of Generation X, born between 1965 and 1976, grew up in a very different world than previous generations and saw this country undergo a selfish phase that they do not want to repeat. Divorce and working moms created "latchkey" kids out of many in this generation. This led to traits of independence, resilience and adaptability. Generation X feels strongly that "I don't need someone looking over my shoulder." At the same time, this generation expects immediate and ongoing feedback, and is equally comfortable giving feedback to others. Other traits include working well in multicultural settings, desire for some fun in the workplace and a pragmatic approach to getting things done. This generation saw their parents get laid off or face job insecurity. Many of them also entered the workplace in the early '80s, when the economy was in a downturn. Because of these factors, they've redefined loyalty. Instead of remaining loyal to their company, they have a commitment to their work, to the team they work with, and the boss they work for. For example, a Baby Boomer complains about his dissatisfaction with management, but figures its part of the job. A Gen Xer doesn't waste time complaining-she sends her resume out and accepts the best offer she can find at another organization. This generation doesn’t follow a career ladder but a career lattice. They can move laterally, stop and start, their careers are more fluid.

Just beginning to enter the workplace, The Millennial Generation was born between 1977 and 1998. The 75 million members of this generation are being raised at the most child-centric time in our history. Perhaps it's because of the showers of attention and high expectations from parents that they display a great deal of self-confidence to the point of appearing cocky. As you might expect, this group is technically literate like no one else. Technology has always been part of their lives, whether it's computers and the Internet or cell phones and text pagers. This is the group us Baby Boomers can relate to the least. I’m guilty of being too quick to judge them as rude and inconsiderate, a by-product of growing up the center of attention. And though they are the most technologically savy generation all this instant technology doesn't leave much time for reflection. Are they too busy text-messaging one another to consider what they are saying? They demand instant gratification and don’t know how to be patient, or how to be alone. They are accustomed to having every minute of their day planned by hyper-engaged parents who schedule their children’s playtime as they would a corporate workshop. Ballet lessons, soccer practice and youth symphony concerts are replacing impromptu neighborhood games of kick-the-can or hide and go seek. Today's children have one-third of the unstructured playtime that their parents did at their age. That is probably the number one thing I notice the most. These kids seem to be mini reflections of their parents right down to the cell phones and day planners. What happened to just playing? I’m not talking about the organized sports kind of playing but just plain ole use your imagination kind of playing. The kind of play that doesn’t require an entourage of people assigned to various responsibilities from chauffeur to equipment manager. And don’t get me started about the “everyone is a winner” mentality of the parents of these over scheduled mini me’s. No, everyone doesn’t win and everyone doesn’t deserve a trophy. How will these kids ever function in a world that doesn’t reward them every time they use the potty? If I was going to give any advice to future parents it would be to not give your children everything even if you can.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

What a weekend I had. Eleven of us went out to celebrate my son-in-law's birthday and eleven of us contracted Salmonella. What fun.....72 hours of pure fun and excitement. The culprit was salsa so buyer BEWARE. I may not eat Mexican food again. After such a "pardon the pun" crappy weekend I have nothing else to share.

Friday, July 11, 2008

What Not To Wear

OK, one of the shows I have now been able to see since getting Cable tv is, What Not To Wear. I've been really impressed by the results of some of the makeovers but evidently I haven't learned anything. Today I am a walking billboard for what NOT to wear. I never wear shorts but today I'm wearing a skort........Never wore one of these before either. It's too short for an old, fat lady like myself but I find that now that I'm soon to be 59 years old I just don't give a flying fig about the opinion of others. It is so liberating! When I was young I was so self conscious I wouldn't wear shorts and I was cute, little and young then. What a waste of youth not to mention how egocentric to think everyone was looking at ME!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I am back again. Took off work yesterday to go to the doctor. I had to have my 3 month blood sugar average done and I'm happy to say it had improved overall. I never can remember all the numbers but supposedly it was better. I have 20 pounds to lose and it is a daunting task. I've been stuck at this weight for several months and just not facing what I have to do to lose the rest. I will set a short term 3 month goal (because that's when I go back to see the doctor) to see if I can lose 10 pounds. That wouldn't be hard for someone else but that will be a real challenge for me. I should be able to average 1 pound a week but so far I haven't been successful. I really need to watch every bite and move, move, move.

Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm back to work after a 4 day weekend. I went to the doctor on Thursday to have blood sugar checked. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get established with a new doctor and then Wednesday I go back to hear the results of my blood test. So this is the week for doctors. The 4th of July was fun. Spent the day at my daughter's house swimming and then we had a cookout. It's nice to have a relative with a pool especially in this heat! I did get a sunburn but nothing that kept me awake at night. I'm surprised since I'm so fair skinned. I put a slather of sunscreen on me but managed to get burned anyway. My weight is bouncing around right now, too much holiday goodies and not enough exercise. I think I'm just burned out with Jenny Craig. I don't want to eat their food anymore and I haven't gotten creative enough to cook. I'm basically lazy and want a miracle weight loss cure. I do realize that I have to take responsibility for my own health and I will get my head straight. I got back on my exercise bike this morning (after taking a week long vacation from it). I just have to stay committed.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Thank God for Menopause

Subject: THE LETTER Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2007 07:52:01 -0800

Begin forwarded message:

This is an open letter written to the brand manager of
Proctor and Gamble (Maker of Always Maxi Pads)...
Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20
years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without
the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably
never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd
certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to
realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing
there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well,my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control
behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the
adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness, actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and KahlĂșa
and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Wal-Mart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not
for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

All the best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX