High on a Hill Was A Lonely Goat Herd

I am 59 years old and I still have flash backs of my worst exercise equipment fiasco which occurred some 30 years ago. I was just a fat (fluffy) mom of 6 year old twins when the “incident” occurred. I had purchased what was going to transform me into not only the coolest mom on the block but without doubt the shapeliest. It was a simple device, no tightly wound springs to accidentally spring out of control and take out a couple of teeth, no hinges to get any of my abundant curves caught in their steel grasp, no it merely consisted of a few nylon ropes with loops on each end. It had a plastic hook to hang over the door and when the door was closed you simply laid down on the floor grasping the two loops over your head one in each hand while putting your feet through the bottom loops. Then as you lowered one arm your leg would go up. You would do this move by alternating one arm and leg at a time. Simple enough, no great skill required or so I thought. So day one of my new fitness quest I waited until the kids had gone out to play, put on my black leotards and shut the door. I was about 5 minutes into my first workout when suddenly the world went black. One of my daughters came bursting through the door driving it into the back of my skull. (seems I forgot to lock the door) There I was, semi-conscious, looking like a fat marionette sprawled out on my living room floor with one arm dangling in the air supported by a blue nylon loop. Today I'm still "fluffy", suffer from memory loss and have had a headache for 30 years.