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We are still in limbo about my brother's house. Just waiting to see what happens next. I did talk to my sister-in-law yesterday and that was a good conversation. I just have to wait and see what my older brother wants to do.
I had a birthday and spent it with the GI doctor. He's going to scope my stomach and esophagus next Tuesday. Since starting on the new medication that coats my stomach I'm feeling much better but he thinks we need to take a look anyway because of the anemia.
I did have dinner with my daughters on my birthday and spending time with them is the best present I could get.
So here's to another birthday and another year!
There has been so much "stuff" going on the past month I have just been surviving. My oldest brother called me out of the blue telling me he wanted needed his third of the house my disabled brother lives in. I was really caught off guard. We (Ron and I ) have worked so hard to keep Mike in his house and living on his own I couldn't imagine what my older brother wanted me to do with him. It seems that was not a priority or concern for him at the time just the money. What I got from the conversation is that he and his wife have gone broke supporting all their adult children. Now they need money and decided to get it from the house my mother left to all 3 of us. I'm not arguing that he is entitled to the money it is just that I don't have it to give to him. They wanted me to sell the house and put Mike in an apartment. He said I could use Mike's share of the house and mine to support him. (hmmm how generous) Problem is the money won't last very long when he starts having to pay rent. He only gets $800 a month from social security. I already pay for all his food but he pays utilities, taxes and insurance and maintenance on the house.
When my mother died we agreed that Mike would continue living in the home for as long as he lived or was able. I've had the sole responsibility of taking care of him. I manage his money, pay his bills, take him to all doctor appointments, manage his medications and fill his med planners. I cook all his meals and clean and maintain his house (inside and out). I've never asked my older brother to do anything. I realize he has his hands full with his own kids and his wife's kids.
Well to make this brief. He has backed off one minute saying he will just sign over his share of the house to Mike. Then nothing happened. Then out of the blue we get a letter from a lawyer. Unfortunately the letter was sent to Mike's house and just scared him to death. He's scared his brother is going to force him out of his home. I've refused to sign anything that would allow the sale but I have learned that if any one of us wanted to force the sale we could.
I finally called my older brother and asked him why he hadn't told me he was going to a lawyer. I told him I felt blindsided and hurt. Which I do. By the time we ended our conversation (me in tears) he once again said he would sign over his share of the house to Mike. I did that a long time ago because I felt it was the right thing to do. I made a decision that my mother was not able to make because I wanted Mike to feel secure. So now I'll just wait and see what happens next.
I think we are getting closer to the day Mike will have to live with Ron and I. He's way too paranoid for an apartment. Too many strangers and his paranoia will shoot off the wall. I was just trying to delay the day he'd live with us for as long as I could.
On the bright side......I'm so blessed to have my daughter's support. They are both trying to step up and help us take care of Mike. They are trying to learn what to do so that eventually we can get away for a few days and they can take care of him in order to give us a break. We really need it.
