Thursday, December 21, 2017

When it rains!

As the old saying goes, "When it rains it pours".  Over the weekend I got really sick with bronchitis again.  I was too sick to drive to the city to see the doctor and of course Ron isn't allowed to drive so fortunately my daughters are on school break and came to our rescue.  My son-in-law came down with the flu and I didn't know if I had the flu or what because this time I have been so much sicker than before.  Fortunately I didn't test positive for the flu.  

The doctor put me on yet another round of steroids and antibiotics.  I've been in bed since Saturday.   The doctor called me on Tuesday and said if not better in 24 hours he wanted me to be admitted to the hospital.  I've just stayed low since desperately trying to avoid being in the hospital.  

Today I actually got dressed.  Still feel pretty bad but just making myself do as much as I can.  I know I'll be going to the hospital after January 8th because the doctor wants to put the camera down my lungs to see what is going on.  Sounds like a boat load of fun.  My only goal right now is take care of Mike (my daughter is going to help me make his meals for next week) and be home for Christmas. 

Mike just called me and wanted me to go to the store and get him potato chips.  I had to tell him that he is capable of doing that.  He goes to Walmart all the time.  He's testing me to see if I'm still here for him.  

Normally I like to believe I'm in control of everything but this time at the doctor visit I broke down and cried.  My voice is almost gone so it was hard for him to hear me.  I asked him if stress could be keeping me from getting well and then I proceeded to tell him my husband has fought cancer for the past 9 years, I take care of my brother with schizophrenia oh and my husband was just hospitalized the week before because of two grand mal seizures.  Once I heard myself saying it I just started to cry.  He didn't really answer the question he just stared at me and said "That's a lot of stress."

I keep being reminded that I HAVE to come up with a plan for my brother if something happens to me but I'll be damned what that could possibly be especially now with all the uncertainties is this country.  Then I just added this administration to my list of stress.  I've worried so much about it all, called legislators who don't give a crap and have just felt sick over it for the past year.

But, life just goes on and all we can do is try to roll with whatever life throws at us.


Florence said...

I am so sorry that you are sick and have so much to deal with all at once. I’m not a doctor but I am convinced that unrelieved stress can most definitely weaken you so that you get sick more often. Could you hire someone to help you out? Make Mike’s meals? Do the housework/laundry? I do hope you get well very soon.

NAN said...

So sorry! I work with individuals with intellectual disabilities and we have some great group homes and supported living situations but I don't know about those with mental illness although many of my clients have dual diagnoses. Have you contacted social services to see what is out there in your state, county or city? Mike needs an advocate (besides you) which is one of my duties as a support coordinator. It sounds like he can live independently with supports or he might enjoy a group home also- many have their own bedrooms with nice flat screen televisions and go on a lot of fun outings. Staff make meals or assist the residents and make sure medications are taken on time. There are some rules but you can still spend nights away and go out on your own. I hope you feel better soon.