Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Trembling Hands

I am wanting to write but my hands are not cooperating.  I'm using albuterol 3 times a day and it makes my hands shake and that makes it very difficult to type or write.  I don't even want to tell you how bad my makeup looks.  Thank goodness I gave up eyeliner years ago!

I am on day 4 of my Prednisone and hoping that once that is finished maybe the jitters won't be so bad.  I finished the antibiotic yesterday and I must say I feel better.

But all my little issues pale in comparison to what our friends south of us are experiencing.  I can't even imagine!  We have a few friends in Houston and the surrounding area and so far as of yesterday they were still dry but the water was approaching their home yesterday.  There has been no update since yesterday.

This afternoon I had my annual eye exam and I had been noticing a problem with my distant vision.  I see ok up close but can't see far away.  Last night we were in Walmart and I realized I couldn't read any of the aisle signs.  Faces were really fuzzy and I just couldn't see very well.  Well, the eye doctor informed me that my cataracts are ready to be removed.  WOW...wasn't expecting that.  They've been there for years but it seems like overnight they became a problem.   The doctor was able to improve my vision with a prescription change so that may buy me another year.  I'm not ready to have them removed until I get past all the upcoming tests etc.  I haven't wrapped my brain around the COPD yet.

I know there are so many worse situations I could have right now.  Ron's cancer was certainly one of those situations.  But I have to admit that COPD scares me.  I am afraid of becoming tethered to an oxygen tank.  I hope this fear finally dissipates but right now I'm just kind of scared.  I don't think anyone wants to believe they could become a burden for someone else.  I certainly don't want to be one for my children or for Ron.  I know things will get better and I know I can handle challenges that come my way.  I've been doing it a long time.  It is that usually my challenges have been as a caregiver not the one in need of care.


Deb said...

Oh Dani,

I can read the anxiety in your post and I'm so sorry you are facing these two new challenges at once. Did you ask your optometrist if the steroids you're taking for your COPD may have caused the sudden worsening of your cataracts?

The situation in Houston is dreadful. I have family down there. I haven't seen them in 40 years, they're the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of my maternal aunt. The grandchildren worked at NASA when we lived in Houston, the g-grands were the age of our oldest son, who is now 51.

We lived on Wild Horse Creek in Duncan when I was a kid. I remember being taken out in a boat two or three times when the Creek flooded in the spring. It was always a great adventure. One year the water got up four feet in the house. Going to Google Street View that entire neighbourhood has been abandoned now, I expect because of flooding.

Take care of yourself. Things will be better once you get a handle on it, and working your meds in will become routine.

Hugs from Canada {{{{Dani}}}

Olga Hebert said...

Being the caregiver to being cared for must be one of the hardest transitions there can be. However, those you have taken care of in the past may be more than willing to return the favor. Sometimes it is a gift to others to receive their willingness to give.

oklhdan said...

Thank you Deb and Olga! I agree things will get better. I know Deb you have lived with several chronic conditions for a long time. We just have to do what we have to do. Olga, I have watched you as you navigated through the loss of your husband. It came as such a shock because I was trying to prepare myself for the potential of losing my husband. I'd been told he wasn't going to survive but it was you that suddenly experienced the unimaginable. I realized I was wasting precious time fearing the possibility that Ron would succumb to cancer and I can truly say I tried very hard to stop wasting this precious time we have. Thank you to both of you for being inspiring women!