Saturday, May 28, 2016

Weekly menu

I went to the store this morning before the Memorial weekend crowd. I had to get some things for Mike's meals.  His menu for the week is as follows:

Lunch:  Bagel and ham sandwich, pork n beans, chips
Dinner:  Salisbury  steak, mashed potatoes, asparagus

Lunch:  Mike goes to Whata Burger for his free meal :)
Dinner:  Pinto beans and ham

Lunch: Bacon Cheeseburger, chips, fruit cup
Dinner:  Beef Tips over noodles, spinach

Lunch:  Mike goes to the Golden Coral for fish
Dinner:  Pork Egg Rolls 


Lunch:  Mike goes to lunch with brother
Dinner:  Ham Steak, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts

Lunch:  Bagel ham sandwich, chips
Dinner:  Pepperoni Pizza

Lunch:  Bacon Cheeseburger, Chips
Dinner:  Roast, Mashed Potatoes, Honey Carrots

I take his meals over twice a week, on Sunday and Wednesday.  I label each one with the day of the week, contents and heating directions.  

The biggest challenge I have is keeping a variety of meals and working around his allergies and disdain for chicken.  If he'd just eat chicken I could really expand his menu.  But you can't fool a schizophrenic.  I know, because I've tried.

Thank goodness I found the cheese substitute because that opened up a lot of things he couldn't eat before.

I've been wondering lately how I managed to escape the cycle of depression that seems to have plagued my family members.  I can honestly say I'm a very happy person by nature but so was my dad.  I have never suffered from anxiety, worry or depression.  Oh, there have been situations in my life that brought anxiety such as Ron's cancer but it has never been the all consuming kind of thing that kept me from functioning.  I honestly attribute some of it to the fact that I just don't have time to think about myself.  Because I am so blessed to have so many people in my life that I love and care about I'm way too busy thinking about how I can make their lives happy I just make myself happy along the way.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Memorial Weekend

It's already Memorial weekend.  I don't know where this month has gone.  Our public schools let out for summer yesterday so here comes summer vacation.

Ron and I have no plans for the weekend.  Ron is preparing for his trip to Raleigh, NC week after next.  His grandson is graduating from high school.  We decided it would be best if I stayed behind to take care of Mike.  Between cooking all his meals and making sure his medication is picked up and put in his med-planner we were not comfortable leaving him here without at least one of us.

Today we went to Mike's and steam cleaned the carpet.  Thank goodness I have Ron to help me move furniture etc.  I just couldn't do it by myself.  I can't say the carpet looks any better but at least I know we tried.

Trying to keep up two homes can really be a challenge.  I don't know how much longer we will be able to do it but for now we are managing.

Since the illustrious leaders of our state did such a horrible job managing the state budget we are in fear that the cuts to healthcare could result in the closing of most of the nursing homes in the state.  They predict that if their is a 25% cut to the reimbursement rate there could end up being as few as 30 nursing homes left in the entire state.  Any hope of Mike going to one would be completely gone.  I've always kept it in the back of my mind as a last resort.

Today while we were cleaning his house I found a journal he was keeping shortly after his last hospitalization.  I was shocked at how well he was able to write and express himself.  That was 6 years ago and he can no longer write at all and has difficulty expressing himself verbally.   There has been quite a dramatic decline in his cognitive skills.  

Some days he is like a deer in the headlights.  His eyes will be opened real wide but he just stares out in space.  He shuffles when he walks, his back is stooped and he appears to be much older than his nearly 68 years.  We are spending more and more time with him especially on his bad days.  He tends to obsess about crazy things and we have to constantly reassure him.

On good days he is much more alert and his conversations make sense.  The good days are just unpredictable.

Sometimes I don't know where I get the energy or patience to be a caregiver.  The only thing I know for sure is that I'm all he has in the world, that I love him very much and that I want to give him as good a life as I possibly can.  I also know how lucky I am to have a husband who supports me in that effort.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Life is good

I have been going in a dozen directions lately and never stopping long enough to write.  I had to stop going to the gym because I started having pain in my hip.  The new hip.... still don't know what I did to it but I see the orthopedist in June.  Tried to get an earlier appointment but wasn't successful.  

All our projects are finally completed.  Feels like something is missing and I fear I am going to get bored.  School is almost out for the summer so my volunteering will come to an end.

We finally met my daughter's boyfriend's children.  Four 10 year old girls..........what a hoot.  They are so cute and all have distinctly different personalities.  One is as quiet as a church talks constantly, the other two are somewhere in the middle.  It's fun to have kids around again.  It's been a long time.

Jamie told me she thought she and Mike would probably get engaged this summer.  They are together constantly and she is spending more time with his girls.  It's funny how life can seem to dump on you one minute only to turn around the next.  You never know what God has in mind for you.  I can't believe it was a year ago when her ex moved out.  I just hope she takes enough time to be sure she is ready for another commitment. 

Weight loss has hit a plateau!  I don't know what I'm going to have to do to kick start it again.  

Ron and I will be celebrating our 5th anniversary Saturday.  He saw the oncologist a few weeks ago and cancer is still in remission.  He has another scan in 3 months but insurance will only pay for 1 a year if he is still in remission in 3 months.  Kind of makes me mad that insurance dictates his treatment rather than his doctor.