Sunday, January 10, 2016

As the world turns

I feel like I've been living in an episode of The Outer Limits lately.  My daughters 1/2 brother was here for almost 2 1/2 weeks.  His maternal grandmother was dying and he came to be with her.  After her death he planned the funeral and stayed until it was over.  During the entire time he stayed with my daughter Jamie.  This was the longest period of time he and my daughters have spent together since they found him 3 years ago.  It was a very bonding experience for all of them.

I've been fine with all of this except it has brought up some old feelings that we've all been dealing with.  My daughters haven't seen their father in almost 38 years.  He was only in their lives briefly after our divorce and it wasn't pleasant for the girls even then.  Their brother James is 13 years younger than my daughters and he only lived with their dad for about 5 years.  Anyway they have all experienced a lot of hurt from their dad but James still has a guarded relationship with him.

Anyway, the funeral for James' grandmother was last Friday.  My daughters went in support of their brother as he was very close to his grandmother.  However, James' mother hadn't seen or spoken to her mother in over 25 years.  James had not seen his mother since he was 13 years old.  She came to the funeral, my daughter's father came with his current wife as well.  I fortunately had to take Mike to the psychiatrist so I wasn't there.  My daughter's father never even looked at the them.  The girls said they wouldn't have known who he was if James hadn't told them.  They said he bolted out of the church as soon as the funeral was over.  His wife however introduced herself to my daughters.

I'm not kidding this whole thing seems surreal.  I think James is fantastic.  I'm so happy he is in the girls lives but it has really brought up a lot of old hurt and pain.  James would like for his father to reconcile with the girls but I don't think it will ever happen.  My girls said he would have to acknowledge what he did and apologize.  I just don't see that ever happening.

Who needs a Soap Opera when you have lived one?


Florence said...

Oh dear, it does sound like an interesting 2 weeks. I'm glad your daughters were able to get to know their half-brother and especially glad that he is someone worth knowing. As for their biological father, perhaps it is best to let sleeping dogs lie. I think we all have various soap operas in our family and there are relatives of mine that I am just as happy being completely cut off from.
Anyway, Happy New Year!

Olga Hebert said...

That man's soul is clearly damaged, maybe beyond repair in this lifetime.

kenju said...

Oh, WOW. He sounds like my daughter's first husband, who moved to CA and has not seen his four kids in 12 years. Scum, I call him. I am sorry your daughters had to go through that.