Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Back Seat Drivers Anonymous

I'm going to start a support group for back seat drivers.  I'm the first official member.  Hi, my name is Dani and I'm a back seat driver!  
Isn't recognizing the problem the first step to resolving it?  I'm not sure what the 12 steps will be yet but for sure the 1st one is acknowledge your imperfection. 

Now, the only defense I have concerning my affliction, imperfection, is my husband (as wonderful as he is) always ends up somewhere other than where we are going.  I sometimes wonder how the man finds his way home.  If I don't occasional ask, "Uh, where are you going?"  I'd never see my front door again.  His reply is always, "I meant to go this way,"   NOT!

But that's the only justifiable back seat driving I do.  The rest is completely unjustified.  He's a good driver but I'm a horrible passenger.  I flinch, grab the handle, use my imaginary brake and constantly gasp and then try to disguise it with a yawn.  I don't know why I'm no nervous in the car but my theory is that I have PTSD.  It is the result of teaching 16 year old twins to drive.  All I could think about when one of them was behind the wheel was the fact that I had to teach these individuals how to use a spoon not to mention the fact I also had to tell them when to pee!  None of this made it easy to intrust my life in their hands. It doesn't matter that it was 29 years ago that kind of terror never goes away. 

So, now I try to always wear my sunglasses when riding in the car.  This allows me to close my eyes and just hang on for the ride without my husband seeing the terror.  I don't think I'm fooling anyone but he hasn't made me run beside the car yet so I call that a victory!


Olga Hebert said...

Oh! I will be a charter member of that group because I am, in fact, a back seat driver. I have done all those things and worse.

Gwen said...

I can't help with the getting lost part, but I have a GREAT cure for nervous passengering! When you think he isn't breaking soon enough, simply close your eyes (instead of flinching.) Ends up, they don't crash, and you are fine with what you don't see. ;) It seriously works AMAZING. And they don't even realize you are doing it. :)

Aunt Betsy said...

I love reading your posts! You are such a hoot and I love your humor!!!! Oh, and count me in as a charter member. I totally understand, having taught all 4 of my kids to drive (and pee, and use a spoon).