Thursday, January 9, 2014

Overcoming fear

     I think anybody who is facing surgery of any kind gets anxious.  There is anxiety about how much it will hurt but there is greater anxiety about being put under general anesthesia and the older we get the greater that worry becomes.

       In my life time I’ve had a lot of surgeries, twenty-two to be exact and all requiring general anesthesia.  I’m an old pro when it comes to abdominal surgeries.  I’ve had four orthopedic surgeries and for me they were the worse.  The recovery is long and tedious and I didn’t tolerate the pain as well as I did the other surgeries.  But with all of them I wasn’t as afraid of the anesthesia as I am now.

     A few years ago one my dearest friends and neighbor had a simple outpatient shoulder surgery.  I guess simple didn’t apply to a 66 year old.  She died from complications about a week later. 

      The only way I know to get OK with all this is to get real with my fear.  I ask myself if I’m afraid to die.  I guess we all have a little normal fear of that unknown but I think I’m ok with the life I have lived and if there is a better place after death I think I’ll get there.  So that being said………..what do I have to fear?  Well, I’m still a little anxious about the pain after surgery but I’ve been tough in the past so I guess I can be tough now and get through this.

      Last night I had a dream that they replaced both my hips but the pain was the same afterward.  It didn’t fix anything…………..

Now, that would really make me upset!
     My mother needed a knee replacement when she was 73 years old but was so scared of the surgery she didn't get it done.  She suffered with pain for almost 20 years and couldn't walk more than a few feet.  I don't want fear to keep me from trying to have the best quality of life I can.

1 comment:

Olga said...

Twenty-two surgeries! I cannot imagine it. The closest I have come to surgical procedure was getting my wisdom teeth out. Knock wood.
I will be thinking of you--all positive vibes coming your way.