Saturday, February 16, 2013

Dust to dust

My son-in-law lost his father yesterday.  Mel passed away at 4:30 yesterday afternoon.  Chris had been hopeful that his dad would be transferred to a skilled nursing facility but unfortunately his dad took a turn for the worse and died shortly after.

It is hard to see my children and their spouses experiencing loss like this.  Both of my son-in-laws have now lost their parents.  I'm the only living parent in their lives now.  Well, the girl's dad is still alive but not in their lives so I don't know if he counts.  Neither of the boys have ever seen him and the girls haven't in over 30 years.

I'm in the process of updating wills and advance directives due to the fact that I've remarried and have a name change etc.  Ron and I discussed what we want to do this morning.  My home will go to my daughters but in the event that I should die before Ron it will allow him to remain in the home as long as he wants or until his death.  The girls have no problem with that.  They love Ron and want him to be OK.  When we are both gone I just want everything sold and split between my daughters.  I don't want them hanging on to "stuff".. 

There is a lot of planning that goes into kicking the bucket.  I never thought much about it before but the closer I get the more I think about it.  It's my nature to want all the i's dotted and the t's crossed.  But I'm frugal enough that I hate the idea of lawyer's and mortician's making money off my dead corpse.  I guess I can't have everything.  I've prepaid the funeral home...opted to be cremated.  I'm flying on the cheap.....I don't care what happens to my ashes....I just don't want them buried in a cemetary that charges you for an entire plot just to use a post hole digger to put my ashes in the ground. 

My son-in-law wants his dad's ashes buried with his mother's.  She is in a full plot at the cemetary.  However, the cemetary is telling him that there is a state law that requires only one cremains per plot.  I told Chris that is just plain bull.  My parents cremains are buried in the same plot and it's here in Oklahoma.  I researched and found no such statute.   Another example of greed in my opinion. 

I wouldn't mind my ashes being skattered from a hot air balloon..... or skattered anywhere for that matter.  I don't want to be on someone's mantle though. 


kenju said...

I want mine in the ocean. My baby daughter takes issue with that, since she thinks she has to have a "place" where she can "visit" me. I've told her I'll be everywhere after I pass, so she can talk to me anytime, any where.

oklhdan said...

That's what I say too!

Florence said...

My condolences to your son-in-law and your family.

We have our wilds and advance directives too. I want my ashes to be mixed with the soil with a tree planted there. If we had a green cemetery near I would consider that but there is none within a reasonable distance.