Saturday, November 10, 2012

The day after

Well, that's the last time I say my life is dull.  No more than the words hit the screen Mike started having trouble.  I was a mess last weekend.  He was really acting confused and exhibiting bazzar behavior.  Stuff I haven't seen in over a year.  I was scared to death trying to brace myself for a full blown psychotic episode.  I called the psychiatrist but was told he is only in the office on Thursdays.  I waited until Thursday for a return call that never came.  Then the reality of the situation was clear.  We were going to have to handle this on our own or take him to a hospital (where he would just get in the mental health revolving door).  I decided that was not an option. 

So, I tried to evaluate the situation with a clearer head.  He was acting and sounding crazy as a bitsy bug but he wasn't talking suicide or doing anything that indicated he was a danger to himself or others. 

Then I tried to figure out if there was anything new in his routine.  I knew he was under stress about his friend Lloyd so  I went to talk to Lloyd 's stepson to see how he was doing and found out that Lloyd's wife had died the day before.  OMG no wonder Mike was stressing out.  He was upset about Lloyd and now this. 

Then it dawned on me that they had just changed one of Mike's medications.  I realized that the change started when he started the new med.  The psychiatrist had said that if it was too strong he could eliminate the noon dose.  I immediately did just that.  It took a few days but Mike is now starting to sound more coherent and seems to be improving. 

I might add that I've never received that call from the psychiatrist.

What I learned through this week is that I had no idea just how much I've been living "on the edge."  I have been a mess.  I've cried and worried and felt just like we were back two years ago. 

I realize that things could change in an instant.  That I can not prevent a psychotic break no matter how hard I try.  That I'm not in control and that I can not "fix" my brother no matter how much I want to.

But as of today............I can take a breath.


kenju said...

Every day is a lesson, isn't it?

Bravo for remembering the new medication and stopping one dose. I hope that does the trick. Now for the psychiatrist? I would read him the riot act, pronto.

Olga said...

Breathing is a good thing. keep doing it. You kept a clear head and figured things out, but not hearing from the doctor strikes me as unaccepatable.

Arkansas Patti said...

I don't know how you do it. Nice catch on the meds. That doctor needs his license examined. That was inexcusable. Sure hope Mike keeps improving.