Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

Everyone knows that three isn't always a good number.  Three kids playing and inevitably one feels left out.  The odd man out.  Well, when my kids were growing up there were three of us.  Although my daughters are twins their personalities are different.  I attribute some of the difference to the fact that Julie suffered a brain injury when she was four and it resulted in a significant learning disability.  So school was a different experience for her than her sister.  I believe we are a product of our experiences as well as genetics.  

Anyway, Jamie and I are very much alike.  We are the peace makers.  We are laid back and take it as it comes kinda gals.  Julie on the other hand is wound up like an eight day clock. Hyperactive and never sits still.  She holds all her feelings inside while Jamie and I sometimes have verbal diarrhea.  Nothing is sacred with us, we tell all.

So when the girls were in their early teens Julie started feeling left out.  Not because she wasn't invited to share in our conversations but because she chose to exclude herself.  I respected their differences and didn't try to force her to talk.  That is when I think she fantasized  that she was more like her dad.  In many ways she is.  She has his creativity and perfectionism.  Her interests were much like his, photography, history, etc.  Unfortunately he was absent from her life and she continued to feel disconnected.

I told her yesterday that I think she has found her big "O".

                          The missing piece sat alone
                          waiting for someone
                          to come along
                          and take it somewhere....

                                                  Shel SilverStein
I saw the similarities between she and her 1/2 brother almost immediately.  The same high energy.  They are both photographers.  They both love and drive Jeeps.  Their shared interests in spite of their age difference and they have both been looking for their missing "O".

It's amazing that you could have an identical twin and still feel that something is missing.  Well, not anymore! :)


Olga said...

That is most interesting. It is nice that Julie found that missing element.

kenju said...

What Olga said.

Our grand-twins are boy/girl, so it remains to be seen how they will manifest their similarities in adulthood. At present (age 16), they try to be as different as possible.