FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT’S ALSO A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that this is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here....you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it “fur”-niture.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.......