Thursday, March 1, 2012

A new morning

Ron and I talked last night.  I was glad he was able to open up a little bit.  He said that he wasn't angry at anyone but he was just shocked to hear his remaining kidney may be compromised.  Words like dialysis and kidney transplant really shook him up.  He's not sure he would want to go with either option.  He talked about making the decision to opt for quality versus quantity of life and I honestly understand what he is saying.   Ron has an uncle who is living on dialysis right now and has to be hooked up to a machine at night and also for 3 hours during the day.  Ron can't imagine that life.  He said the difference is his uncle is in his 80's and his life was already restricted to some degree.  Ron is only 63 and can't imagine years of living on dialysis.  He feels a transplant is a waste of time and money.  That having to suppress his immune system would only give the cancer the upper hand to thrive.  He also doubts he would ever receive a kidney anyway and he doesn't want to spend his remaining time in a hospital.

So after this discussion we agreed to once again set it aside and wait 3 months and reevaluate where we are.  I just wanted him to know that HE is the one who makes the final decision.  He needs to know he has some control over what he wants and doesn't want.  We also agreed we are not going to let this dictate everything we do.   We are going to go on with plans but remain responsible.  

We are planning to widen the driveway so we are going to go on and do it.  Sometimes we are afraid to do things because of the big (?) that hangs over our lives.  But that's no way to live.  We just have to be responsible but keep living.

We are expecting 79 degree temperatures today.  Oh, spring fever will be getting to us soon.  It will be nice.


MerCyn said...

Ron - and you - have a great attitude. Do all that you can when you can and don't obsess over what might be. No one knows what will happen tomorrow.

Arkansas Patti said...

Mercyn said it well.

Judy (kenju) said...

I second what Patti said.

Arkansas Patti said...

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and condolences. Very much appreciated.