Saturday, October 9, 2010

What I know today!

Here is what I know today. The shock has worn off. There was some anger last night. All the what if's. What if they had realized it was cancer 6 months ago? What if they had done the surgery then? many why's. We cried together most of the night and talked about how long we have known each other, since we were 6 years old. How God has a plan and he had one for us and how we came back into each other's lives and that this is where we are supposed to be now, together. I said I just can't look back with all my questions or I get angry, it doesn't help the situation now. I have to look forward. Take the next step as it comes. I told Ron that I'll do whatever he wants me to do and I'll try to resist my natural urge to take charge. He's the captain of this ship. He's in charge. He is struggling trying to decide when to tell his daughter. Her mother (Ron's ex-wife) just had a breast removed on Thursday. They only have one child and she is already going through a lot right now. Ron doesn't want to add any more stress for her. I think she would want to know but again this is a decision he will have to make. He needs to feel he has some control over things.

Ron and I have been toghether almost 10 years now. Though we do not live together I'm closer to him than anyone in the world (other than my daughters). We never married because of financial issues. Ron made some bad decisions over the years that impacted him negatively financially. He would never consider getting married because he wanted to "Bring" something financially to the marriage. Me...I don't care about money. I've worked and made my own security. So, this has been a difficult thing in our relationship. I wanted more and he resisted.

I told him yesterday that he can move in here and we'll get through this together but it is up to him. He stayed last night and we just held each other all night and talked until dawn. I don't know where all this will end but I won't have any regrets.


marciamayo said...

Dani, what a beautiful love story and it isn't over.

themoose53 said...

You guys make a cute couple. ((((((these are hugs<<-->>ditto!!))))).

I can understand Ron wanting to protect his daughter. Every parent ... every good parent ... wants to do that. I also can understand the stress that his daughter must feel. My half-brother lost his Dad and our Mom within a month of each other.

One thing he should think about, though: don't take away his daughter's right to be stressed. It's a decision she should make. Just my humble opinion.

Illness stresses a relationship like nothing else can. You guys have shown the caring and committment to each other that makes something like this ... I was going to say "copable", but, what the heck?? ... "something you can handle".

TOGETHER, you will get through this. Together you can hold each other up and support each other. None of can know what the future holds. But, I certainly hope miracles are in both your futures. Having a mindset that makes room for miracles helps a lot!!

BIG HUGS (and healing thoughts and prayers).


Betty said...

Ron is lucky to have you in his life, but I'm sure he knows that. You will get through this together.

Arkansas Patti said...

You two really do have a special story. You were meant to be together.
I hope he does move in with you while going through this. This is no time to be alone.
Also feel his family should know but that is his choice. Perhaps you can sway him. Caring is sharing.
You are both in my prayers.