The Cataract Club (formerly known as) The Musings of a Middle Aged Woman

I believe in miracles......................

2012-02-02T08:38:00.002-06:00

Well, life is settling down. Mike has his new med and we will see how it works. I read the drug information on it and thought if the disease doesn't get you the cure surely will. The doctor added Lorazepam to the drug cocktail. He'll take it 3 times a day instead of his prn medication for anxiety. If it makes him too sleepy we cut the noon dose. The literature says not to take it for more than 4 months so I don't know what the plan is for this drug. Mike didn't call me last night (that's a first) so that was good. Ron did talk to him so I know he was OK. Mike now takes 10 meds in the am, 2 at noon, 2 in the evening and 9 at bedtime. Hopefully we will have a calmer week.

My cough and respiratory (pardon me) crap is back. I'll get to the doctor if I ever get a chance. I hated to come to work this morning but I have so much to do I just can't take off.

Mike keeps me so busy I don't have time to worry about Ron. I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't want something to slip up on us and I find myself unprepared. It's so easy to just forget that he has cancer. He's feeling good. I find myself thinking he's beat the odds. It's easy to think that way until you see the oncologist who always has to remind us that "Ron's condition is grave". What does that mean, grave? Is that a really poor play on words? Why does she insist on bursting our bubble? She tells us that everything is stable and we get so excited and then she hits us with, "Now, you have to remember, Ron's condition is grave." She says she doesn't want us to have false hope. Why not? Why not any kind of hope? When you stop having hope you just stop! I believe in miracles....why if I didn't I couldn't do what I do every day. I see miracles every where I look. To me Ron is a walking miracle. Two major surgeries that he sailed through with little pain. That's a miracle. Every day he feels good and is free of pain or discomfort. That's a miracle. So........why not a miracle cure? It could happen!

2012-02-01T13:07:00.000-06:00

OK, I had to take off work this morning and go back to Mike's doctor. It seems there was a mix up at the pharmacy and they didn't fill the new prescription. Mike was freaking out so it was easier to just get it taken care of myself. It is a 1 1/2 hour round trip which isn't that bad but it just takes time away from work. But all is well for the moment.

I am getting that cough and cold back I had about a month ago. My daughter and her husband both have pneumonia right now. We are a mess.

Update

2012-01-31T09:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a long day. I left work and went to Mike's. My other brother met me there and then Ron came too. I was almost sure that the situation had escalated because of the psych. nurse. She's a rather loud, fast talking person and she gets Mike excited every time she comes. I had just talked to Mike right before she got to his house and he was settled down but then he told her he had suicidal thoughts and the @#$% hit the fan. I'm sure she was only following protocol but it didn't do anything but get Mike worked up. He was a real zombie when I got there but it was because he hadn't slept all night worrying about the doctor's visit. The nurse wanted him to go to the hospital and I didn't. I wanted him to go to bed and sleep. I didn't think the situation warranted going to St. Anthony's. Every time he is in the hospital they just dope him up more and it makes things worse. Sometimes you have to just trust your gut and I think I know my brother pretty well.

We didn't leave him alone the rest of the day and he slept at our house last night. Butch is taking him to the psychiatrist today. I think if Dr. T. agrees to back off the medication decrease for awhile Mike will settle down. Mike is terrified that he will get sick and end up in the psych. unit again and I totally understand his fear. This will have to be done very, very, slowly.

I'm definitely going to check out NAMI as suggested. I think it would be good for all of us, my other brother, Ron and myself. Yesterday I felt like we were all just about worn out.

I have always said I wouldn't let Mike consume me the way he did our parents. But it is hard because it's all he's known. He kind of held everyone captive. My dad could hold his own with him and he wasn't afraid to talk stern to him. But that was a father/son relationship. Mike's always had his bluff on me because I was always just a little scared of him. I'm a very non-confrontational person anyway and confronting someone who can blow up at any second is scary. I was always the peacemaker in the family. But I have to change that. Mike now looks to me the way he did our dad. It is really weird since he basically didn't acknowledge I was alive until our mother died two years ago.

I really feel for my older brother. He is 73 years old and two of his kids are severely bi-polar. He's driving one of them to Kansas City on Friday to live with a girlfriend. She's been homeless for the past two months. His brother is schizophrenic and I won't even go into his wife. Let's just say he didn't have enough crazy in the family he had to import some more. (Now I'm just being mean) It's not my place to judge anyone. I just need to concentrate on my own behavior.

So, I'm waiting to hear how the psych. appointment went. In the meantime I have a long day today. Late night meeting and I didn't sleep very well last night myself.

The last one standing.

2012-01-30T10:06:00.001-06:00

I keep learning that I don't know much about my brother's disease. I find myself trying to have these rational conversations with someone who is irrational. He is just obsessing like crazy about his medications. He obsessed over a slow leak in his bike tire which resulted in him considering suicide. Then he obsessed about the dishwasher installation. It was a weekend of obsessions............. Ron spent Saturday with him getting the tire fixed, getting the dishwasher installed and getting bossed around by Mike. He ended his day fed up to the brim.

Mike is supposed to see his psychiatrist tomorrow and he is totally worked up about that. He called me this morning and said he didn't sleep last night because he's anxious about the appointment. It's like there is no way to win this war. It's either the side affects or the disease.

Then he told me he is working on his narcissism. Really? How's that? He told me he asked how I was this morning. Ohhh that's right...he said, "How are you before he started telling me everything that was going wrong in his world. I guess that counts.

I just heard from Mike's psychiatric nurse. She thinks he should see the doctor today. Mike is telling her he wants to kill himself. I'm at my wits end. He consumes every minute of every day. I have no life of my own anymore. I'm feeling very resentful. I just wish I knew what to do.

My father once told me "Don't be the last one standing." I didn't really get it at the time. NOW I DO!

patterns

2012-01-26T12:55:00.001-06:00

I'm beginning to see a pattern with Mike and his medication changes. It seems it takes the first week after a change for Mike to relax and get comfortable. The second week goes much smoother. I am already seeing differences in his thinking. He seems to be much clearer in thought. The obsessive thinking is simply a symptom of schizophrenia and it may never go away completely. I don't think that is a side effect of the drugs, it is a side effect of the disease.

I was telling him today about a girl who has schizophrenia and how I had found her blog. She wrote about her obsessive thoughts. She also described hearing voices that told her she was a bad person and berated her. I asked Mike if he understood that this is simply the disease and it doesn't mean someone is bad. He seemed to appreciate hearing that his symptoms are similar to those of other people.

I was also thinking about the roles individuals play in a family. Are we born with our personalities already decided? Are our personalities acquired from our experiences? I don't have the answer to that but I know that I've been a "caregiver" since I was a little girl. My mother suffered from severe depression and anxiety and I took care of her. I was the youngest child but the only daughter so mothering was my role. It remains my role. It comes naturally.

Words from my father

2012-01-25T13:10:00.001-06:00

I found this writing in some papers left to me by my paternal grandmother. She had saved clippings, programs and just about anything having to do with my father. Among these items I found the following writing. My dad was sixteen years old at the time and it must have been a class assignment or something though there was no grade on the paper. What I find mind boggling is that when he wrote these words in 1931 he never dreamed of something like the internet. He never saw it in his lifetime but I can only imagine the blog he would have written. He would have loved it!

By Earl Simpson 1931 age 16

Across-the Y in Fourth Ward is where I was and am being brought up. Over where boys and girls come under the simple heading of “kids”; a simple and unaffected group of people for neighbors, whose boys were my pals and belonged to my “Gang”. At the youthful age of ten I was the leader of a small but clannish group of boys; we called ourselves “The Fourth-Ward Alley Rats” and were quite proud of the title. My chief assistant in command was Roland Broom; with his muscle and my brain we managed to engineer several projects that still glow in my mind. A cave in a road bank, a house in a tree, and a boat are my chief sources of pride from that line. The cave has long since been filled in with tin cans and rubbish; the boat took her last voyage many years ago; just the other day I noticed a two-by-four running across two limbs and that told another story; memories linger on.

A boy is not a real boy without a dog. I was a real boy. My dog I called “Happy” and I think bespoke his name by not missing a wiggle of his tail for eleven years. He was a small brown collie with the heart of a lion. I’ve come home many a time with a black eye after a difficulty arising over the fighting merits of my dog. I wasn’t very large, neither was my dog, but, even if I do say so myself, we put up some good scraps. Yes, we got a lot of thrashings but we also gave out quite a number. Happy fought his last battle three years ago; I buried him under a tree where he and I used to sit and comfort each other on melancholy afternoons. I go down to see him every once in awhile; I’m not sentimental but I did love my dog.

I shall never forget that April night in 1927 when I became a Boy Scout. Words cannot describe the pride with which I displayed my Tenderfoot badge. I was an official member of a Troop for six years; I received a Second Class, First Class, Star, Life, and Eagle awards; I was a Patrol Leader and believe I got a lot out of Scouting. I remember hikes, camps, and troop and patrol meetings. I see patrol “dens” and the faces of all the fellows whom I played and planned with and called my pals. Some day I hope to have a boy of mine in Scouting.

There are really two places which I call home, the house in which I live and the ice factory that my father runs. As far back as my memory goes the plant is part of my surroundings. The hum of the machinery, cakes of ice in the storage room, the ice cans, the fillers, an ice pick and a pair of hooks are all as familiar as the steps at my back door. I rode on the wagons and trucks as a “kid” and learned the routes and the public we served. I’ve worked as a peddler, a puller, a stacker, and as the engineer. I have been book-keeper and a general handy-man for my father; I know the ice business.

Movie Date

2012-01-23T08:37:00.001-06:00

Ron and I saw the movie, Extremely Close, Incredibly Loud, Saturday and it was amazing. The 14 year old actor, Tomas Horn, was just fantastic and it was his first acting job. He was discovered after he was on a teen version of Jeopardy. I read something where he said that he thought the experience was great but he would be glad when his life just went back to normal. I'll be surprised if it goes back to normal anytime soon. He was in every scene in the movie and playing the part of a boy with Asperger's Syndrome. He portrayed it perfectly. I don't know how he captured it so well. Tom Hank's role was minor. He was the focus of the story (being the father killed in 911) but his role was brief. Sandra Bullock was the emotionally absent grieving widow. Her role was brief also although it had a surprising twist at the end. We really enjoyed this film and highly recommend it but be prepared that it is emotionally draining.

The line that got me the most in the film was when this young boy said, "I tried so hard to be normal". I lost it because it made me think about my brother and how hard he has tried to be "normal" all his life. It made me think......if my brother were "normal" he wouldn't be Mike. He wouldn't have all the unique, quirky things that make him who he is. I would only wish he could be Mike without the fears and obsessions associated with schizophrenia. My biggest wish is that he could have peace.

Mike's weekend started leveling out on Saturday and he had a great day with our other brother and Ron. They all got together to watch basketball. There were no problems until last night when he called to say he had a pill missing from his med planner. Ron and I drove over but the pills were fine. He's just anxious about them. I hope he does well this week. I need to call him....he missed his 8:15 call-in.

Thank goodness.........all is well. He had just walked to Subway to get his daily sandwich. They know him well at Subway!

Mike's Fear

2012-01-21T12:42:00.000-06:00

Decreasing Michael's medications is going to be a long and tricky process. He is extremely anxious about it. He's having trouble expressing his fear but what I've been able to figure out is he has an irrational fear he's going to die if they decrease it. I try to assure him that his psychiatrist is very knowledgable and that he won't do anything that would put him in harms way. I can have this conversation a hundred times but he goes right back to his obsession. I guess the best we can do is try to distract him as much as possible.

I've been keeping a daily journal about Mike so that I can share it with his doctor. Mike can't express himself and his memory is so bad he wouldn't remember the struggles he has had through the week. The doctor will either use the information or just dismiss it. I just want to do all I can to help him receive the best care possible.

I told Mike last night how much I admire him and how he has taught me so much. He just cried which made me feel bad. But he told me he needed his tears, that it was a release for him. I get t hat. Sometimes a good cry really lets us get out the feelings we have bottled up so long. Mike needs to hear that he is a good man and that his disease does NOT define him as a man. He is a man who has schizophrenia. He's a man who has worked hard to be a good person inspite of his disease.

Ron is with Mike this afternoon watching a ball game together. This gives me time to get some chores done. We are going out for a movie tonight.

Unexpected Surprise

2012-01-20T13:38:00.001-06:00

I have been married 8 months now but I still haven't gotten my name changed on all my accounts. Yesterday I called Uverse to see how I needed to go about changing the name. The young man who assisted me was so pleasant. He took care of the name change and then said he wanted to review the account. I thought, here it comes, a sales speech to get me to increase my service. But no, he just said, "I can take $5.00 off your monthly fee for you." He didn't even explain why he just did it. No sales speech, nothing! I have to say I was impressed.

I figured I was on a roll so I called the gas company but they gave no discounts. I hope I didn't turn off my gas service in an effort to change the last name. I guess we will know if our feet get cold tonight.

Brain Waves

2012-01-19T08:42:00.001-06:00

How do I make my brain think like a schizophrenic? I try but his brain jumps around like an ant on a hot rock. I'm answering one question and before I can finish a thought he has moved on to something else. It's like talking to Flash Gordon, he's all over the place.

Yesterday was a day of obsessive thoughts. He obsessed about his medication and told me he was having suicidal thoughts. All this was going on while I was trying to work. I had an unusually busy day yesterday and I was juggling everything while I had a phone attached to my ear. This is such a "normal" routine for me I become completely unaware of who is around at the time during these conversations. It must really sound odd to the outsider.
"Now, why do you want to kill yourself"?
"Because you think you might have missed a pill?"
"What are you afraid will happen if you missed a pill?"
"You'll die?"
"So, you'll just kill yourself instead."

All this while I type on my computer and shuffle papers on my desk. People must think I'M nuts!

Every morning at 8:15 he calls and every morning at 8:15 I hold my breath. Is it going to be a good day? Or are we going to ride the schizophrenic roller coaster? Sometime after the 20 - 30 phone calls for the day I will come to a conclusion.

Michael Update

2012-01-18T10:42:00.000-06:00

I took Mike to his psychiatric appointment Monday and it went well. Mike had the best two weeks he's had in over a year. His optimism was high and he didn't have any problem with reducing his Thorazine. He had only one episode when he got a little anxious over his med. planner and I had to go back to his house and make sure it was OK.

Dr. T. lowered his dosage of Thorazine again from 3 x daily to 2 x daily and he lowered the Trihexyphenidyl from twice daily to once daily. Mike seemed OK with all the changes. We had an enjoyable trip and went to lunch.

On Tuesday morning I got a call from Mike and he told me hadn't slept. He said he called our brother at 1am and told him he was having suicidal thoughts. I guess it just hit Butch's last nerve and he must have yelled at Mike. So Mike was upset with Butch. All I could think about was I can't lose Butch's help with taking Mike to appointments. I just can't do all of it by myself. If Mike gets too paranoid about Butch he won't go with him. So I did my best to defuse the situation. I had Mike call his psychiatrist himself to tell him what was going on and he did. Dr. T. then called me and just said that Mike should take his Thorazine at bedtime and that it will take awhile for him to adjust to the changes. Mike seemed reassured and did just fine last night.

His psych. nurse has started coming again and she will take over the med planner duty. I'm still hopeful that things are going to get better and that his thinking will improve. He will probably continue to have difficulty with impulse control. He's always had a problem with it. I just hope that he remains sweet and doesn't go back to being mean and demanding like he was before all this happened. The meds have made him much sweeter. If that happens we will have to have a come to Jesus meeting because I won't let him abuse me the way he did for so many years. I may have more leverage now because he knows that I'm all his has. Mom and Dad are gone so he knows I'm it! Gives me a little bit of leverage I hope.

Yes ma'am!

2012-01-17T14:14:00.000-06:00

Do you remember the first time someone called you ma'am? I think I was about 30 or 32 when the sacker at the grocery store called me ma'am. I about died. I was sure I was over-the-hill and my youth was just a faint memory of the past.

Ron's daughter called recently to report she had just been called ma'am for the first time. She was having about the same reaction that I had. We teased her a little and welcomed her into the over-the-hill club. I told Ron after we hung up that I have passed the ma'am stage and have entered the sweet little old lady phase. Now I'm called "sweetie" or "darlin" or other sweet old lady terms of endearment. Young people hold doors open for me and act like they want to carry my parcels. Frankly, I LOVE it! So far I haven't felt the least bit offended.

Everything I know I learned in therapy!

2012-01-13T14:40:00.001-06:00

Following my divorce in 1978 I spent about six years in counseling. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist that I felt very comfortable with and trusted completely. Initially I didn't seek counseling for myself but for my children who were having a difficult time adjusting to the divorce, or so I thought. What I learned was that my kids were fine, it was me that needed adjusting. So began my six-year journey of self-discovery.

The first year I spent the majority of my hourly sessions crying and working through my feelings of rejection. Everything was centered around mourning the death of my marriage. What I learned in that year was how to identify what I was really mourning about....it wasn't the marriage as it really was but the hope of what I wanted it to be. I was grieving the loss of hope. Once I was able to learn the difference between the two I was ready to move on to focusing on myself and what I wanted in the future.

The following year I had my counselor's support as I tentatively began to open myself to the idea of dating. I was able to talk about a multitude of feelings this evoked. It took me to places I wasn't even aware of and how these experiences had impacted the way I acted in relationships. I hadn't realized that being molested as a little girl actually impacted my ability to be intimate in a relationship. Why I never connected the dots is still a mystery to me. But we were able to go back and work through some ugly residue left over from that experience. There is a time to look to the past but only if by doing so you can change the future. Otherwise just keep moving forward.

In the end I felt I had been given tools that would help me as I moved forward in my life. I finished all my work and I'm grateful I was finished before I turned 34 years of age. I've continued to use the tools and strategies I learned and I believe I gained a much better understanding of myself. I learned that happiness is not dependent on anyone but yourself. If you are unhappy then change your circumstances, don't wait for someone else to change.

Wherever Your Path May Lead You

2012-01-12T12:51:00.001-06:00

That Ribbon of Highway

The Immaculate Deception

2012-01-10T08:31:00.002-06:00

It was Christmas time and I had just come home after a rather hectic day at work when a rather indignant seven year-old met me at the door stating very emphatically that she was NOT going to be exploded by her teacher.

“Exploded? Do you mean exploited?” I asked taking a wild guess.

Julie continued, “She wants us to wear matching dresses and to say a poem. I don’t wear dresses and I’m not saying a poem with HER.” pointing accusingly to her twin sister.

Poor Jamie, she looked as bewildered as I felt. Somehow she was a major player in this drama only she had no idea why.

“My teacher said she would give me a zero if I don’t wear a dress and in the Christmas program but I’m NOT.” Julie said emphatically punching her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans, her long hair cascading down her back. She was a tomboy and would rather be boiled alive than forced to wear a dress.

Jamie quickly jumped in and explained that their teacher wanted them to wear matching dresses and together recite a poem in the school Christmas program. The program was to start in an about two hours but Julie had decided to protest what she considered to be the exploitation of twins.

As a single mom of two I had learned long ago to pick my battles and this was just not a battle worth fighting. I decided instead that it was an opportunity for my daughter to learn one of life’s biggest lessons. For every action there is a reaction. If Julie didn’t participate she would get a zero and that my friend is what we call consequences. I advised my daughter that it was definitely her choice whether to wear a dress or not but that she would have to go to the program and explain her position to her teacher. I then instructed each of the girls to get ready to leave for the school.

While the girls were getting ready I gathered what little wits and patience I had remaining. I was so tired that I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy to deal with Julie’s protest but decided I had to give it a try. I made a quick phone call to my mother to remind her of the program and to let her know we’d meet her at the school.

It wasn’t long before the girls emerged from their rooms ready to go. Jamie in her red and green Christmas dress her soft curls held in place by matching bows and Julie wearing a t-shirt and jeans with a comb stuffed in her back pocket. Her hair was a tangle of curls. We all got in the car and drove the three blocks to the school while Julie sat the backseat with her arms folded defiantly across her chest.

As soon as we got to the school the girls scattered to the music room. I quickly located my mother and we went into the auditorium to wait for the program to start. It felt good just to sit down and take in a deep breath. I decided not to tell my mother about Julie’s standoff with the music teacher afraid she might not agree with my decision to not fight this battle.

Soon the auditorium lights dimmed and the curtain opened. Jamie walked to the edge of the stage and recited her poem without a hitch. She looked so sweet and ladylike that it was hard to believe she was the identical twin of her slovenly sister. As soon as she exited the stage my mother asked, “Where is Julie? It would have been so cute if they had recited the poem together.”

The curtain opened again to the entire third grade class standing on bleachers ready to sing songs of the season. I scanned the faces looking for two just alike. I quickly found Jamie on the front row but no Julie. Of course I wasn’t the only one looking for her. My mother rather loudly asked, “Where’s Julie? Isn’t she in the program?”

“I’ll explain later.” I whispered.

I had resigned myself to the fact that Julie was indeed getting a zero in music and that no resolution had been reached between Julie and her teacher. Then the children finished a rousing song of “Here comes Santa Claus” and the curtains closed.

The auditorium suddenly darkened and a single spotlight began to shine on the center of the curtain. Slowly the curtain opened to a choir of children softly singing, “Away in a Manger”. The spotlight focused on Mary and Joseph looking adoringly at the Christ child. Mary was wearing a blue sheet that covered her hair and wrapped around her entire body. It was a second or two before I realized that due to an immaculate deception this angelic creature was no other than my tomboy daughter wearing a t-shirt and jeans beneath her robe with a comb stuffed in her pocket.

The 21st Century

2012-01-09T08:32:00.001-06:00

Ron and I made to the movie Saturday night to see "We bought a zoo" and it was really good. I highly recommend it. Just a good wholesome family movie.

Today we purchased new cell phones and a dishwasher for Mike. That was an adventure. We took Mike to Sears and he interviewed the clerk for about 30 minutes on what kind of Indian he was. It was an interesting conversation. Thank goodness Ron had more patience with him than I did. I felt my blood sugar taking a nose dive and had to go find something to eat. I left Ron in charge of Mike and they managed to complete the transaction.

We got new phones so we could start texting. We had to change our phone plans as well. When I called my daughter and told her I could now text she said, "Thank goodness......you are now in the 21st century". Ron's daughter was just as elated. Good grief........I guess it's the new mode of communication.

Monday has arrived way to quickly. I have to gear up for another week and my heart isn't in it yet.

I've been thinking a lot about chronic depression, anxiety disorders and other emotional challenges and how all or some have affected so many members of my family. It seems that my dad and I are the only ones that were not impacted by such afflictions. My dad was a fun loving happy guy all the time. Even with the responsibility of taking care of my brother 24/7. Mike was with my dad every day and I can't remember one time that my dad complained about it. He tried once to set Mike up to live alone and when it didn't work he just accepted the fact and Mike moved back home. No complaints were heard.

By nature I'd say that I'm a happy person. I don't suffer from anxiety or depression. I'm afraid I don't handle the stress of caring for my brother as well as my dad did. I try to vent any frustration I'm feeling here and then leave it. So far this method seems to work.

I was telling my boss this morning that I felt as if I was a little harsh on the phone with Mike. She said, "If that's harsh then I'm a sadistic bitch when I talk to my husband." She assured me that whatever frustration I was feeling was not evident on the phone call. That made me feel better.

What really gets me is why did I get the genetic roll of the dice that I did? Why, when every other member of my family has such challenges? Guess I shouldn't question it but just be grateful!

I married a keeper!

2012-01-07T15:18:00.000-06:00

I'm a litttle down in my back today so my dear, sweet husband was up early this morning doing the laundry. He cleaned the kitchen and got the grocery list and did the shopping. He even called in my prescription and picked it up as well. Now he is with Mike watching a basketball game giving me time to just take a long hot bath. He's is honestly the kindest person and so very thoughtful.

I took my medication and threw in some extra arthritis pain reliever and I'm ready for that hot soaking tub. If I'm better this evening we may catch a movie. I've been wanting to see the movie about the guy who purchased a zoo. It looked pretty wholesome and tame.

We are going to have a pretty quiet weekend.

Clinging Vine

2012-01-06T15:14:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had issues with static cling or static in general? I remember when I had carpet in the living room and we actually had to get up and change the channel on the tv. I would get the be-jezus shocked out of me. So, I made the kids change the channel. They would actually scoot across the carpet in their socks just to see if they would light up when they touched it. Doesn't happen now with wood floors and remotes.

Many years ago I went in to work and had no idea that I had a pair of panties stuck to the back of my skirt. Thank goodness a co-worker was nice enough to tell me or I would have been sporting that look all day.

Another time I went to the doctor and as I was perched on the exam table I looked down and noticed something sticking out the hem of my slacks. I became entranced by the foreign object and while the doctor continued talking about my diagnosis I started pulling on it. It kept coming and coming like a magician's scarf trick. It was a pair of panty hose! I quickly wadded them in my hand and stuffed them under my butt!

I can't count the number of times I've pulled a sweater over my head to have my hair stand up like a science experiment. Or just when you think you are about the hottest looking thing at the party your husband lets you know your skirt is stuck to your back only about 3 inches higher then your fanny.

All the above examples are why I have this in my desk drawer.

Collecting or Hoarding?

2012-01-05T10:23:00.002-06:00

I have found the greatest motivator to cleaning house and getting rid of accumulated junk. I just watch a marathon of "Hoarding Buried Alive" and I'm ready to empty every closet and drawer in my house. Sometimes I can't even finish an episode before I'm up and throwing stuff away. I realize the cases depicted on television are extreme but I can also see how as we age and become physically challenged things can pile up. Every time I open a closet it is the stuff that is hidden in the back of some pile that really makes me question why I've kept it in the first place. Is it the old out of sight out of mind mentality?

What's really had me thinking lately is how new physical limitations change what we do. I've come to realize that getting out the familiar Christmas decorations has become harder and harder. I'm not physically able to do it anymore. So, do I sell all my decorations in a yard sale or do I keep them stacked up in boxes for my kids to deal with some day?

When Ron and I got married we had to combine households. Fortunately, he had a huge estate sale and had already eliminated the need to find places for furniture etc. But the things we did try to merge filled up every empty nook and cranny in the house. I realize after 8 months of marriage that we do not need 50 towels....we aren't that dirty. So it's time to clear out the linen closet.

The next big project is to get the family photos under control. I didn't have that many photos but Ron came with 4 huge Rubber maid tubs of pictures. Most of the people in the photos he has no idea who they are. But he has a sentimental attachment because they belonged to his parents. His daughter will probably have no attachment to them because she doesn't know who they are either. So that's a project that still needs to be tackled.

Ron is a collector. He sold the majority of his collections in the estate sale but he has that collector mentality. If there is a series of things he has to have them all. He has collected everything from Santa's around the world to Nascar model cars and coins. Me.....I collect nothing but dust. As a single mom I didn't have the extra income to collect anything. We worked under the rule of "If it doesn't feed you, clothe you or provide shelter, you don't need it."

So, I'm still trying to simplify my life. Decluttering is part of my intention so I don't end up an episode of Hoarding..........

Hope is on the horizon

2012-01-04T11:01:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was a long day. I had my regular doctor's appointment and after an EKG and the regular blood work all is well with me. Then on to Mike's appointment with his new psychiatrist, Dr. T.

Mike met with Ray again before his appointment with the doctor and they had a good conversation. Mike really responds well to Ray. They talked about guilt and Mike's overwhelming feelings of guilt and remorse for things that have been so exaggerated in his mind. All in all it was a good session. I'm so thankful we found Ray.

Then we met with Dr. T. The first thing he asked was "Why is he on all these meds.?"

Uhhhhh "Because the psychiatrist prescribed them." I replied.

"I'm surprised you can even talk Mike with all this stuff in your system."

I said he barely can..........

So, the rest of the visit we talked about Mike's medication and how he needs to be weaned off a lot of it. Dr. T. said he will function again and feel so much better.

Mike was a little apprehensive of course because he is so afraid of having another psychotic episode but we were assured his medication will only be reduced to the lowest level that will still maintain his mental health. The doctor also indicated that some of the physical side-effects Mike is experiencing will go away as well. The problem with his eyes and even the choking sensation are being caused by a medication that is drying out his eyes and his mouth.

The first medication to be reduced is the Thorazine which is an old psychotropic drug. It can cause a lot of side effects. He started with reducing it by one dose per day. Then we will go back in two weeks and he will probably reduce it again until he gets off it completely. Dr. T. said it may take 6 months to get him off everything he wants to eliminate.

Mike said, "There's hope for me."

Dr. T. answered, "You bet there is hope for you, you will be a new man."

It's amazing what a little hope can do. We are all cautiously optimistic that Mike will regain his independence! I am praying so hard.

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-30T19:22:00.001-06:00

Ron in the traditional Christmas Tree Hat!

Mike and daughter Julie

Daughter Jamie with her loot!

Son-in-law Larry with funky lights!!!!!!!

Hope your Christmas was Merry!

2011-12-28T21:44:00.000-06:00

The Cycle was broken (Sort of)

2011-12-22T08:35:00.000-06:00

No phone calls about suicide last night. I was afraid Mike's pattern of every other night would continue but it didn't. He did call this morning and said he had to take an "as needed" pill last night. I don't know what was going on and frankly I didn't ask.

Mental Illness Takes No Holiday

2011-12-21T10:53:00.001-06:00

With all the merriment associated with the holidays having a family member who struggles to find merriment no matter what day of the year it is can be difficult. Mental illness takes no holiday. It is there 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Often it intensifies during the time everyone else is at the height of merriment.

As a caregiver for someone with mental illness it is not always easy to avoid being pulled into your loved one's depression. Your work as a caregiver intensifies along with their anxiety. I am still struggling to find a way to separate myself from my brother's illness. Because it is an ongoing battle measured by phone calls, thoughts of suicide and delusional thinking I live as much with his schizophrenia at times as he does.

At times I am acutely aware that I am in over my head but that doesn't seem to matter. I'm here and that is where I will remain. I'm in this until one of us has taken our last breath.

It Continues

2011-12-20T08:40:00.000-06:00

We are still fighting demons. Mike started the suicide talk again last night. Only this time he called the suicide hot line and told them he was going to overdose on his pills. They told him to flush all his pills down the toilet and so he did. Afterwards he called me and told me what he had done. I was so frustrated. One or two of his prescriptions alone are $1,000 each. Rough estimate he flushed about $4,000 dollars worth of medications down the toilet. Because they are controlled substances we are having difficulty getting any medication. Ron is dealing with the medicine and I'm trying to get hold of the mental health service here in Norman.

Last night Mike was ready to go to a nursing home, today he is fighting and saying no. When he gets scared he can then escalate to psychotic and aggressive. I'm just walking a tight rope trying to figure out what to do.

Mike has correlated a pattern to his suicide thoughts. He thinks it is every other day. He kept saying things like "consecutive" and just rambling mumbo jumbo and irrational thoughts. I'm so frustrated.

I'm going to seek a therapist for myself. I need someone to talk to about my own feelings. I have suppressed everything but I need to talk to someone.

Suicide Threats

2011-12-19T08:34:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately Mike had a rough weekend. On Saturday night he called and told me he was going to commit suicide. There was such a desperateness in his tone that it really scared me. He said, "I can't do this anymore, I mean it, I'm going to kill myself."

I kept Mike on the phone while Ron drove over to get him. When Ron got him to our house we sat up with him for several hours until the "as needed" medication had time to kick in. Then Mike was able to sleep through the night at least from midnight to 8:00 am which was good. Of course I didn't sleep worrying about what to do next.

Sunday morning was of course a whole new day. We took Mike to church for the special Christmas service. There was an orchestra and the choir and Christmas carrolls galore. At one time Mike said, "I was moved by the Holy Spirit, but it made me dizzy."

We then tried to bring him out to the hospital for the Christmas party but the minute we walked in he was overwhelmed by the number of people and said, "I can't do this." So we immediately left the party and took him home.

Yesterday I talked to him about the suicide threat. I told him I needed to tell him that I have decided that if he ever did such a thing I would not allow myself to feel guilty. I cannot be with him every moment and that there is nothing I can do to prevent him from killing himself if he really wants to do it. I would be heartbroken but I won't let myself feel guilty. I also told him I hate that his is so unhappy and that his life is so difficult. I told him it is his decision to live or not but that I would ask him to at least consider a nursing home so that I can have some peace of mind that he is safe. That's about all I can do.

I have had enough time to realize that having him in my home is only an option if there is absolutely nothing else we can do. He has already taken over my life to a great extent but if he lived with me my life would be completely consumed. Just as our parent's lives were consumed by his mental illness. I just have to keep working on letting go of any feelings of guilt over things I cannot control. I also have to remind myself that it is ok to be a little selfish and want a life for myself as well.

Rain Man

2011-12-16T12:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday's trip to the behavior health clinic was an interesting one. Mike was in good spirits and didn't seem too distressed over meeting yet another mental health worker. I was prepared to meet the psychiatrist but not this trip. This trip we met with a social worker named Ray. He was clearly Native American when he met us in the waiting room with his long jet black braids.

The thing I love about Native Americans is their quiet, soulful demeanor. Mike instantly made a connection with Ray as we followed him to his office. Mike stared intently at Ray and said, "I love Indians". Ray smiled and answered, "Of course, they are the best." Mike went on stating matter-of-factly "You are Kiowa". Ray responded "Yes, I am, my last name is Kiowa also."

While Ray was explaining the meaning of his last name to Mike I looked on in amazement. How the heck did Mike know Ray was Kiowa just by looking at him? I guess he's our own Rain Man!

I was appreciative that Ray allowed me to stay in the room during the interview. I was able to assist Mike when he needed help and I shared all the information I had as well. Ray seemed surprised to hear that my family never received a diagnosis from anyone concerning Mike in 40 years. We didn't get a confirmed diagnosis although we all seemed to just know for years that Schizophrenia was definitely a component of Mike's illness but to what degree we didn't know.

I was just about to tell Ray that in my opinion his Schizophrenia was mild when Ray asked Mike about the first time he was treated at the age of nineteen. He asked him if he was depressed and why. Mike answered, "Because I didn't have a girlfriend."

"Were you lonely?" asked Ray.

"Yes, and the trees were talking to me."

Uhmmmmmmm maybe Schizophrenia played a bigger role than I realized.

We met with Ray for about two hours and then set up an appointment with the Psychiatrist on January 3rd. Ray also gave me the name of the Benefits Specialist that might be able to assist me in applying for a home health aide. Twenty hours a week would be ideal if we can get it.

On our 45 minutes drive home Mike was trying to decide where he wanted to have lunch. He changed his mind 4 times before we got back home. At one point he got really quiet and told me he was sad.

Why, I asked?

"Because I'm thinking about when I have to tell you good-bye."

I told him not to worry, that by the time we had lunch and went Christmas shopping he would probably be happy to get rid of me.

So we ate lunch at Van's Pig Stand......... Then we went out to do Mike's Christmas shopping. He has an animal theme going this year. He purchased Christmas cards with dogs on them. A singing penguin for one niece and a singing dog for another. He topped off his shopping purchasing with cookies to hand out to his "Great" neighbors and friends.

I hope he had a great day! He's a sweet and caring man!

And the hacking continues

2011-12-14T10:21:00.002-06:00

Poor Ron, he's worse and I'm finally getting better. It's been 2 weeks today for me and he's just ending week one. I'm afraid he won't be seeing the other side of this crud for another week. I think everyone in Oklahoma has this bronchial virus.

Tomorrow I'm taking Mike to meet his new psychiatrist. I sure hope it goes well and I can finally get someone to write the order for the psych. nurse to do Mike's meds. I've had a devil of a time getting it renewed with the home health agency.

Since Mike has been so isolated the last couple of weeks I promised him that when we are finished at the clinic we will go to lunch and maybe do a little Christmas shopping. He's ready to get out! We are also going to be greeters at church on Sunday and I KNOW he will love that. He loves saying hello to people and shaking hands. This is right up his alley! Poor Ron may have to stay home in bed!

If we don't get to feeling better soon we are going to look like the guy above!

My last day of work is December 22nd and then I'm off until January 3rd. I'm looking forward to having time off and just piddling around the house. We have no big plans to do anything since Ron will still have to work. He won't get any time off until the summer.

2011-12-12T12:19:00.000-06:00

The weekend was quiet except for all the coughing and hacking from Ron and I. We didn't even make it to church Sunday which is not usual for us but we didn't want to spread our "good cheer" to the entire congregation. A sacrifice that I hope God appreciates!

One thing that is fun from this is Ron now has a sexy deep Sean Connery voice to match my deep Lauren Bacall imitation. The only time I don't sound like an 8 year little girl is when I have a cold! Now is the time to record my answering machine message. There are times when I use my youthful sounding voice to my advantage. Every time a solicitor calls I just tell them my mother isn't home.

We have been applying for assistance for my brother Mike. He is already on Social Security Disability from which he draws $700/month. Applying for state assistance was really hard but we wanted to try and do everything we could to help Mike. After completing the application process we received 5 letters on the same day. One said he was approved for food stamps, one said he was denied food stamps, one said he was approved for medical assistance, one said that since he didn't reply to the previous letter his approval was denied, and one said he would receive $16.00/month for food assistance. Good grief...$16.00 doesn't even cover the administrative cost. Ohhhhh well.........Government whether Federal or State level is such a mess. No wonder we are in a recession.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

2011-12-09T15:56:00.000-06:00

I came back to work yesterday but I'm feeling punky at the end of the day. I'm still hoarse and still coughing and still blowing my nose every ten minutes. Rudolph has some competition with MY nose so bright! What DO they make kleenex out of anyway, sandpaper? I'm so glad it is Friday because I'm going straight home and to bed. Poor Ron is now getting this creeping crud. Poor Guy! He's been kissing me on the top of my head for a week trying to avoid germicidal contact but you can't hide from those air-borne viruses. I have to get better so I can finish my Christmas shopping!

Everyone......stay well!

A Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year Wish

2011-12-08T08:57:00.001-06:00

I was sent this email & thought I would share it with you. It spoke to me in volumes in light of the Holidays that are upon us & the New Year to come. As I read the list that the 90 year old woman wrote, I couldn’t help but think about how true her words rang clear. With that I wish you & yours a Very Merry Christmas Season & a Happy, Blessed & Prosperous New Year.

Written by a woman on her 90th birthday

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

2011-12-03T15:42:00.000-06:00

Still sick! YUK This is the first cold I've had in ten years. The last time I was sick with a cold was when the World Trade Center was attacked. I'd be happy to go another 10 years before the next one. I'm in the coughing, hacking, nose blowing stage right now. My sweet husband is doing the grocery shopping for me and I'm going back to bed.

CT Update

2011-12-01T14:21:00.000-06:00

Happy Day! Ron's CT results were good. Nothing new was found. The 3 lung mets remain stable. They haven't changed. His kidney site was clean so we were told to repeat in 3 months. Great news!

I woke up this morning with a sore throat and the start of a cold. I had to take Mike to the Indian Clinic and we have to go back tomorrow. All we were able to do today was fill out the paperwork for the behavior clinic. Tomorrow he actually will be seen by someone.

I'm feeling kind of punk so I'll just end this post with my good news! Thanks for all the good vibes and prayers.......they are working!

Fighting the healthcare maze

2011-11-29T10:46:00.000-06:00

I'm having to make an executive decision today concerning Mike's care. It all started when his doctor changed at the Indian Health Clinic. His former doctor resigned and his new doctor is uncomfortable signing a physician's order for the home health nurse to come every week. The order is required for Medicare to pay for the service. His new doctor believes his psychiatrist should sign the order. That's all good except the psychiatrist that sees him through Community Mental Health will not call me back. It's a state run agency and they are pretty bad if you ask me. But when you are desperate for help you take what you can get.

Well, the Indian Health Clinic also has a psychiatrist who can see Mike. This would allow his care to be more comprehensive. The down side is they are an hours drive away. It will be disruptive for Mike initially but I think it would be better in the long run. Right now it appears to be my only option. Mike is OK with the idea right now but that can change in a flash. Anything that disrupts his routine really shakes him up. I will have to dispense his medications until we can get the psych. nurse back. It always scares me to death because I'm afraid of making a mistake but I just have to do the best I can. Ron usually double checks me and we somehow get it done together.

So, I'm trying to arrange all this from work and thank goodness our administrator is very understanding about my situation. I probably wouldn't get the support I do if I worked anywhere but here.

I'm really taking a leap of faith switching Mike to a new psychiatrist. They are a strange breed of doctors and you just never know what their philosophy will be. His present doctor never really talks to Mike. He just rambles on about himself and says "I'll see you again in 6 weeks." I hope the new doctor will at least spend some time with Mike.

Turkey Leftovers? Not at my house!

2011-11-28T09:48:00.000-06:00

Well, once more I have tested the limits of my sweet husband's patience. I volunteered us to animal sit all through the Thanksgiving holidays. First we had my daughter Julie's dogs from Wednesday to Friday. Now that's not too bad since they can come to our house and they are getting up in years and just lay around anyway. But, Friday until this morning we have had to stay at my other daughter's house to take care of Bella La Grossy, Sophie, Olivia (AKA Stupid) and the scraggly no tail cat. They are all sweet animals but they are a house full. We haven't had any sleep because the entire zoo sleeps in bed with my daughter & son-in-law and we couldn't get them to stay anywhere else. Ohhhhhhhhhh I'm tired! Then you throw my brother on the mix and you really have a menagerie.

I couldn't help myself this time because my son-in-law found his biological father this year and they made a spur of the moment trip to meet him. The reunion went well and I'm happy for my son-in-law. He lost his mother on Thanksgiving day last year so this was a very big deal for him.

Ron gets the results of his CT scan this Wednesday. He actually told me that I don't need to come with him "because everything is going to be OK anyway". Like I would NOT go. I may be scared senseless but I'll be there. I really haven't had time to think about it until now and I don't know why I get so nervous because it's not like worrying will make a difference. So, I'll just say my prayers and God will do the rest.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

What Am I Thankful For This Year?

2011-11-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

1. I am grateful for my husband who makes me feel special each and every day.

2. I am grateful that each new day is filled with promise.

3. I am grateful for my friends, the ones that I see each day and the ones that I have never met.

4. I am grateful for all the experiences that have made me into the kind of person I am today.

5. I am grateful for the joy and peace in my heart.

6. I am grateful for the people who are journeying with me.

7. I am grateful for knowing that I am where I need to be.

8. I am grateful for opportunities to grow and learn.

9. I am grateful for all of life and what it brings.

10. I am grateful to the Divine who have given us all these and more.

Happy Thanksgiving to All

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-21T11:07:00.001-06:00

It was a great weekend! Ron and I spent the entire weekend together just enjoying each others company. Saturday Mike called Ron and said "Ronnie, I got hit in the head."
Ron a little puzzled asked, "By what."
Mike responded, "The trash can".
Now Ron is really tickled imagining Mike falling head first into his kitchen trashcan.
Mike continued saying, "My glasses are all messed up, you gotta take me to get my glasses adjusted."
Well, I didn't want to miss out on this so we both drove over to get Mike and he met us at the door with a big ole goose egg on his head and a cut. His glasses were all wopper jogged and he had a dazed look on his face. Not from the bump, just his usual dazed look.
We asked him to explain again what had happened and it seems he was taking his trash outside and the city trash can lid blew up and hit him in the head. It probably wasn't as funny as it struck us but he really did look a sight!
Ron couldn't stop giggling as we drove him to the optical place to get his glasses adjusted. Mike finally told Ron he was going to have to get even..........

The Vespers service went well last night. I spoke and didn't even get too nervous. It was well received and I can now scratch (public speaking) off my bucket list.

The Thanksgiving meal was absolute delicious. So many dishes to try and we tried them all. I had made a new recipe to take and if I must say...........it was sooooooooo good. I've shared this easy recipe below. Great to make ahead! Ron asked for it again at Christmas.

So. the world is good. Life continues and I'm just so happy!

Layered Cranberry Jello Salad
Serves 12-18

1 - 6 serving size cherry jello
and 1 - 4 serving size cherry jello
3 c. boiling water
2 cans whole berry cranberry sauce
1 large can crushed pineapple - do not drain

1 cup chopped apples
1 cup diced cerely
and 1 cup chopped walnuts

Mix both packages cherry jello and boiling water together until dissolved. Whisk in cranberry sauce and pineapple; stir in celery, apple and walnuts. Pout into a 13x9 glass dish. Chill until set.

Top Layer:

1 - 4 serving size lemon Jello
1 cup boiling water, or apple juice (I used apple juice)
1 cup sour cream
2 pkgs cream cheese, softened (really softened)
1 cup sugar

Dissolve lemon Jello in hot water (or juice) whisk in sugar, and stir until dissolved. Stir in cream cheese and sour cream; whisk until smooth. Pour over chilled cranberry layer and chill until set.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Good!

Thanksgiving Recipes

2011-11-17T14:23:00.000-06:00

Whipped Butter Nut Squash

2 butternut squash, halved and seeded
1/2 cup margarine
1 cup light sour cream
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Place squash halves cut side down in a medium baking dish with enough water to cover. Cover, and bake 1 hour in the preheated oven, until tender.
Scoop squash from skin into a medium bowl, and mix with margarine and light sour cream. Whip until smooth. Season with salt and pepper.

Slow cooker sweet potatoes with applesauce

6 medium (2 pounds) sweet potatoes or yams, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1 1/2 cups applesauce

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

3 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 cup chopped nuts, toasted

Place sweet potatoes in 2- to 3 1/2-quart slow cooker. Mix remaining ingredients except nuts; spoon over potatoes.

Cover and cook on low heat setting 6 to 8 hours or until potatoes are very tender. Sprinkle with nuts.

These are a couple of recipes I plan to fix for Thanksgiving this year. I especially love recipes I can cook in the crock pot, it frees my ovens for other dishes. If you have any favorite recipes please share. I love to try new things.

I have a pain in the @#$% literally!

2011-11-16T09:01:00.000-06:00

Well, my conservative husband joined my liberal church last night. I tried to tell him that this had to be his own decision and he said it was. He's just such a black and white thinker that it really rocks his boat when everyone expresses their different views on religion. He wants a definitive answer to everything and hey, I'm not sure there are any definitive answers. Each person has to find their own path. It's the difference between wanting others to think for you and wanting to think for yourself!

I'm having sciatic nerve pain in my left leg. This is a first for me and all I can say is OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This hurts! Anyone have any remedies they could pass on? I can hardly walk.

I wrote a letter to a neuro psychologist in Oklahoma City about Mike. I was seeking some guidance about his medications and what impact they are having on his cognitive ability. I'm wondering if some of the psychotropic drugs could be reduced and still control his schizophrenia. Now I have to wait to see if he answers my letter.

Ron and I are going to go see "J. Edgar" this weekend. We haven't been to a movie for some time. This is going to be a busy weekend.

Texting Seniors

2011-11-15T08:36:00.000-06:00

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.
Please pass this on to your children and grandchildren so they can understand your texts.
ATD:	At The Doctor's
BFF:	Best Friend Fainted
BTW:	Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT:	Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM:	Covered By Medicare
CGU:	Can't get up
CUATSC:	See You At The Senior Center
DWI:	Driving While Incontinent
FWB:	Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW:	Forgot Where I Was
FYI:	Found Your Insulin
GGPBL:	Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA:	Got Heartburn Again
HGBM:	Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO:	Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO:	Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL:	Living On Lipitor
LWO:	Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR:	On My Massage Recliner
OMSG:	Oh My! Sorry Gas.
ROFL... CGU:	Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL:	Talk To You Louder
WAITT:	Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA:	Wet The Furniture Again
WTP:	Where's The Prunes?
WWNO:	Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI:	(Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In)

Read the labels!

2011-11-14T10:41:00.000-06:00

Poor Mike.....I fixed a lot of food for him this past weekend and made him some hamburgers with Lipton Onion Soup Mix mixed into the meat. I wanted to spice them up a little for him. Ohhh I spiced him up! He ate one burger and broke out all over from an allergic reaction. I didn't read the ingredients close enough.....Soybean oil, MSG, barley, to name just a few of the things he's deathly allergic to. Poor Guy! He already had Pink Eye for the second time and he really looked pitiful and then I just finished him off. He's seeing the eye doctor today and he's doing better. (No thanks to me)

There was excitement on our block this weekend as my neighbor and her fiance eloped to Eureka Springs, AK. We were so excited for them. Kristy is the daughter of my dear friend Barbara . Kristy's parents have been dead for several years and she was all alone. She had really been hurt in the past and had just about closed herself off to any hope of a relationship. After attending our wedding in May she came over to talk to me about opening her heart again. I just said it is impossible to find love if you are not willing to let yourself be vulnerable. I guess she was ready and the next thing we knew she had started online dating. After she had been dating different people for awhile she came over one day and said sarcastically, "I just went on a date with my dad." She described him as bald like her dad and a little round in the tummy (like her dad) but I reminded her, "Yeah, well you loved your dad didn't you?" "Why don't you give the guy a chance....he just may be as great as your dad".

AND guess what...........He is! He's a police officer only 4 years older than Kristy. He treats so sweetly. He is a widower with one grown son and they are so, so, happy! I'm happy because I love the girl and I loved her mom and dad. Wonderful people.

So now there are 3 newlywed couples on the block. Kristy & James (48 and 52). My neighbors next door who are in their 20's and then the two old newly weds (me and Ron in our 60's) I think I'll have a block party!

Penn State

2011-11-11T07:49:00.001-06:00

I am so saddened by the scandal at Penn State. Of course I'm sickened by the alleged actions of Sandusky but it is the indifference that was shown by so many that really sickens me. All the way from the coach who witnessed the molestation in the shower and didn't stop it to the administrators who were more interested in "saving the program" than saving children. Children were expendable but the "football program" wasn't! It just makes me so sad.

Our country has been suffering from the consequences of greed for too long! Do children also have to pay the price? I guess that's not a new concept....remember what it was like before child labor laws? We don't think much about our most precious commodity. Just look at how we pay teachers!

I was so disillusioned seeing the Penn State students rioting in the streets because their football coach was fired. Really? That's what drives you to protest? Football? We have young men being blown up in Afghanistan, children were raped on their campus and they are upset that "The Coach" got fired? Why that may scar them for life.

It's all just sad!

Oklahoma Weather Safety Precautions

2011-11-10T09:29:00.000-06:00

Tornados are coming so seek shelter in the interior of your house.

Earthquakes are expected so avoid the interior of your home. Go outside if possible.

Thunder Storms are producing lighting along with hail so avoid high ground and open areas.

There is a flash flood warning so avoid low ground.

Parts of the state have already received over 5" of rain in the past three hours.

In closing, we are still under a burn ban.

What next? Locust and Frogs!

2011-11-09T08:24:00.004-06:00

Well, between earthquakes, tornadoes and floods it's been a busy time here in Oklahoma. Fortunately we have suffered no damage other than one broken picture frame. It's just a bit unsettling since earthquakes are something we are not accustomed to at all. I remember my dad telling me when I was a kid that one had caused a crack in our living room ceiling but I never believed that story. He was such a big teaser you didn't know what to believe. He also told me it was snowing in August.......

I've been worried about Mike since last year's earthquake is what set off his psychotic break but we've been keeping a close eye on him and so far so good. I had a neurological exam lined up for him and the Indian nation had made a referral but when I checked out the doctor he had nothing but horrible reviews. Out of 25 reviews not one was favorable. Words like arrogant, rude, condescending were used a lot not to mention quack and incompetent. I canceled the appointment! I was afraid of someone causing more harm than good and I don't need that. So I'll look for another neurologist on my own that I feel more comfortable about.

Ron's CAT scan is coming up in about a week. Please send positive vibes our way. I always get a little crazy just before he has a scan. I'm afraid to be optimistic and afraid not to be. I have to talk myself through it and just take a deep breath. The average life expectancy for his type of cancer is 5 years. We have made it 3 years now. The only sign of anything are the 3 spots on his left lung. It's still a cliff hanger whether the original cancer will come back. It has been 7 months since the last surgery. It was 6 months after the first surgery that it came back. I'm literally holding my breath! He's everything to me.

Yesterday's Safety Committee meeting turned into a "remember when" session as the meeting came to a close. In the committee there are 3 individuals over 60 and one in her 50's and the rest are 30 and under. Interesting mix of individuals. The walk down memory lane began when one of the 50's mentioned that she had been in her attic the other day and retrieved some old albums. Her kids 15 and 9 had no idea what these relics were. This led to a discussion on party lines, drive-in movies and 8 track tapes and the days before cell phones. The young ones were aghast hearing about the archaic conditions in which we lived. If they only knew!

Oklahoma's largest quake in decades buckles highway; rattles residents

2011-11-07T08:04:00.000-06:00

AFTERSHOCKS

November 06, 2011|By the CNN Wire Staff

Central Oklahoma continued to experience dozens of aftershocks Sunday, nearly 24 hours since the state's strongest earthquake since 1952 was felt throughout the region.
More than ten aftershocks measuring at east 3.0 magnitude were reported Sunday, in the hours after a 5.6-magnitude earthquake took residents by surprise Saturday night. The temblor rattled homes and structures, causing belongings to scatter in houses and sending strident, booming sounds through the area.

This is what was reported on CNN but on Saturday night I had already gone to bed and was dead asleep when the bed started jumping all over the floor. I was so confused and had a heck of a time getting my wits about me. Ron came in the room and said. "Don't worry, it's just an earthquake". I said, well I hope California is getting out tornadoes then. Us Okie's aren't used to this kind of commotion. Not the kind under your feet.......we're used to the kind that blow down the street and we just get out of the way!

I was immediately worried about Mike. Because last year's earthquake is what set of his psychotic break. He called almost immediately after the quake. We talked to him awhile and then decided to just go get him and bring him to the house to be sure he was OK. All seems to be going well.

So how's it shakin where you are?

Bumper Stickers

2011-11-04T12:49:00.002-05:00

Honk If Anything Falls Off.

Cover Me, I’m Changing Lanes.

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed

Person.

You! Out Of The Gene Pool – Now!

I Do Whatever My R ice Krispies Tell Me To.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over…

(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)

Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph

Also Are Timed For 70 mph

Guys: No Shirt, No Service

Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.

Boldly Going Nowhere.

Caution – Driver Legally Blonde.

Heart Attacks: God’s Revenge

For Eating His Animal Friends

Horn broken – watch for finger

Man who walks thru airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok

People who say “nothing is impossible” have never tried slamming a revolving door.

Indian Wanting Coffee:

2011-11-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and the other hand pulling a male buffalo. He says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says,

"Training for position in United States Congress.

Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

=,

Dillusions

2011-11-03T08:04:00.000-05:00

I'm very anxious to get Mike to the neurologist in two weeks. I just don't understand what's going on with him. He's so different now, not like he was before the psychotic break a year ago. He was a very independent man before this happened. He drove, he handled his own financial affairs, he had a fantastic memory and was very different than now. Now he can't put 8 words together to make a sentence. He can't drive. His thoughts get all scrambled up in his head and he is very anxious all the time. They said he didn't have a stroke but they didn't say what is causing all this. Is it the price he has to pay for sanity? Because if it is all the psychotropic drugs that are causing him to be almost helpless than what a price? A price we are all paying.

Mike has a doctor's appointment this morning at the Indian Clinic which is about a 45 minute drive from here. My older brother is taking him but Mike has developed some kind of fear of our older brother. He was up all night stressed about having to go with him this morning. Butch was a police officer for years and he talks the gruff cop talk.......it scares Mike and he doesn't want to be with him.

My problem is that I'm working and I just can't take off every time he has to go to a doctor or to get his meds. Butch is the only help I have with Mike and losing his help would do me in I think. However, I can't have Mike flipping out when he has to go with him either. One more problem to try and work out. Sometimes I wonder how I became in charge! I guess I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Grandpa and The Monkey-Faced Boy

2011-11-02T08:18:00.004-05:00

I always knew that my place on the family tree carried with it certain advantages. I had the distinction of being the youngest child, the only daughter and the only sister. I was also the only grand daughter of my mother’s parents, Marie and Rosser Lessel.

The only grandfather I ever knew was not related to me by blood. He was the man who married my grandmother when my mother was only five years old. Granddad Lessel’s first wife died leaving behind a husband and young son. He then married my Grandmother who also shared the same name as his first wife, Ida .

Granddad was an immensely proud but gentle man. I never thought of him as anything other than a real grandfather. I never remember him laughing out loud but he always seemed to have a chuckle in his eyes. He would often spend hours sitting in his rocker playing the dot game, hangman or tic-tac-toe with my brother and I. In the warm, summer evenings Mike and I would run around in the yard while Granddad watched from the porch swing. He would sit with one knee bent resting his foot on the swing and gently pushing it back and forth with his other foot. As darkness encircled us we could only tell he was there by the soft orange glow of his Camel cigarette. He held his cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger permanently staining them orange from the tobacco. In those summer evenings my brother and I would catch fire flies under Granddad’s direction and put them in jars with little air holes punched in the lid. In the morning the jars would be on the table where we had left them the night before but the lightening bugs would have mysteriously disappeared. So the next evening we would begin our lightening bug round up all over again.

Granddad Lessel had a dry sense of humor and he would tease without so much as a grin. When I was about nine years old he began telling me the story of the monkey-faced boy. It seems there was a boy who lived in Poteau who, according to Granddad, had the face of a monkey. Granddad said the boy had lured some unsuspecting children to the top of Cavanaugh Hill and they were never seen again. No one could prove the monkey-faced boy was responsible for their disappearance so he continued to roam about the town.

Well, this tale of the monkey-faced boy scared the be-jeebers out of me. Granddad told the story every time we came to visit. Then one summer while visiting my Grandparents I was sent to the corner market to purchase a loaf of bread. The walk to the market was uneventful but on the return trip as I leisurely strolled along swinging the bread back and forth, I suddenly felt someone approaching me from behind. I came to a sudden stop and stood frozen in my tracks. I felt the air stir slightly as a bicycle suddenly stopped beside me and a boy leaned down and with his face close to mine said, “Hello.” Everything turned to slow motion as I found myself looking straight into the eyes of the monkey-faced boy. I let out a blood-curdling

scream as the bread flew out of my hands and through the air. I ran straight to my grandparent’s house and never looked back. Hysterically I told my mother and grandmother of my frightening encounter with the monkey-faced boy while my granddad tried to dodge the piercing glares of the two women who were feverishly trying to calm me. That was the last time I ever heard about the monkey-face boy.

Halloween Here at the Hospital!

2011-10-31T09:02:00.002-05:00

Dale Carnegie I am Not

2011-10-28T08:52:00.003-05:00

Our minister called me last night and asked if I would speak at our November 20th evening service just before Thanksgiving. It is usually a well attended service with approximately 200 people. Now, I'm not a public speaker. The only speaking I've ever done were the eulogies for my parents and a close friend. I'm a shy person.......I write but I don't talk! But what did I say.........why yes of course. She asked that I talk about my journey of faith and the blessings I have received this past year. So pardon me while I stress out for awhile. I've just got to remember to picture everyone in their underwear. Is that OK in church?

This is what I have written so far..................any feedback will be appreciated!

BLESSINGS

When Pam asked me if I would share my blessings from this past year with all of you tonight I was immediately reminded of something my mother told me a few weeks before she passed away at the age of 91. One evening I was sitting with her in her hospital room when suddenly, out of nowhere, she said, “Every age has its blessings”. “ Really? I asked, even now at 91 when your body is so sick and frail?” And without a moment’s hesitation she replied, “Why yes, because I’m surrounded by people who love me and whom I love in return.”

You know, it’s easy to see the blessings that come with great fanfare such as our first love, marriage, or the birth of a child. But we don’t always see the blessings that come from hardship or personal struggle? This past year I have learned much about the blessings we never see coming.

In Luke chapter 2, there's a story about a man named Simeon. God had promised him that he would not die until he had seen the coming Messiah. Jesus was born, and eight days later when Mary and Joseph took Him into the temple, Simeon was waiting there. He recognized immediately that this was the Christ-Child, the One for whom he had waited, and he rejoiced. He took the baby into his arms, and he praised God saying, "Lord, now you are letting Your servant depart in peace, according to Your word."

Simeon was waiting, looking expectantly, for that Child - for that blessing. I wonder how many times we have missed blessings because we were not looking with the right expectations; we were not waiting to see what God had in store for us; or perhaps we were not looking with eyes that were seeing things from God's perspective.

In 1956 I met my first love. We were six years old and in the first grade. He was the cute little boy with the shy smile sitting on the back row. One day he gave me a Cracker-Jack ring and I gave him my heart. Although we grew up together and graduated from high school we never spoke a word to each other the entire 12 years.

After graduation we went on to different colleges and separate lives. We each married and started families of our own. Unfortunately, my marriage ended when I was 27 and despite my mother’s best efforts, which included telling me to look for a widower since according to her they tend to re-marry quickly. Unsure as to whether I really wanted to hang out at cemeteries in order to race other divorcees back to the family car, I elected to remain single in spite of my mother’s encouragement. I didn’t find another Mr. Right but after 25 years I did find myself content if not a bit set in my ways.

I had long since given up the idea of remarriage when the wonderful world of information technology brought me the email addresses of all my former classmates in preparation of our 35^th high school reunion. From that a correspondence began with my first love, the boy with the Cracker Jack ring. After 22 years of marriage he too had experienced the devastation of divorce and with this experience in common we began a correspondence. Thinking he was still living in another state I felt comfortable with our communication until one night when he divulged the fact that he was living right here in Norman. Insecurity soon gave way to curiosity and we finally met in person and thus began a 10-year courtship. Remember, I said I was set in my ways. I truly believed that I was too old for love let alone marriage.

But like all good plans that changed when my love was diagnosed with cancer. After what we hoped would be a successful surgery we both realized that we could no longer protect our hearts from the possibility of hurt or loss. We could however, spend the time we have now loving one another and enjoying our lives together. We realized that the only way to experience love is by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. So this past May, only 4 weeks after his second surgery, we were married in my daughter’s backyard. He exchanged a Cracker Jack Ring for a wedding ring and I became Mrs. Ronald Phillips.

So yes, my mother was right, every age DOES have its’ blessings!

Enjoy God’s blessings. Count them one by one. Then pass them on wherever they are needed.

How to Prepare For A Mammogram

2011-10-27T10:43:00.003-05:00

I've scheduled mine for today at 2:00, this is just a friendly reminder to schedule your's too! I found this helpful information on the internet,

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A MAMMOGRAM
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat (just in case the first time wasn't effective).
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!

Living day by day

2011-10-27T08:25:00.000-05:00

I don't know where the week has gone. It seems the past 4 days have just flown by and I haven't had time to figure out what day it is. When things get too hectic I have to tell myself to slow down and pay attention to what is really important, Ron and our time together. It will be 6 months since our wedding on Nov. 7th. I think I need to plan a little get-away for us. Maybe a trip to Dallas. We only have a few weeks until he takes his next CT scan.

The Internet is an invaluable source of information right at our fingertips but sometimes there is almost too much information--or at least more than I can handle at times. I've researched everything I can find on Ron's type of cancer and with what I've learned I have just enough information to scare me to death. You can learn about average survival rate and what to expect next but you are always hoping and praying your situation will be the exception. You want to be informed but optimistic and sometimes it is hard to be both. If I go by the average survival rate of 5 years we only have 3 years remaining. I know better than to think that way and to just live in 3 month increments. I am always telling myself "We have today" and that's all that matters.

Too Old

2011-10-26T08:03:00.000-05:00

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

You keep knocking on your own front door.

The Healthcare Abyss

2011-10-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

Our healthcare system is so messed up the paperwork alone will put you in cardiac arrest. My only advice is keep impeccable records. My blog has actually provided me with information at times to help fight my way through the billing maze. I recently received a denial for payment for my brother for an ER visit February 17, 2011. I was able to find all the information I needed right in my journal to appeal the denial. They were billing for an ambulance ride he did not take and a hospital stay when he was actually denied admission. Sooooooooooooo keep records. Not just copies of EOB's and bills but your own hand written documentation.

Ron actually received a denial from his insurance for a bill submitted by the provider 2 years after services rendered. The insurance company denied the claim because it wasn't submitted in a timely manner. Ron was informed he was not responsible to pay it either. I have a feeling this will end up being a battle. Ron is supposed to get another CT scan from the same provider in November. I'm betting they refuse to do it because their is an outstanding bill. They will hold him hostage and refuse to do the scan until he pays the bill....even though under their contract with the insurance company they failed to submit according to their agreement. I can't imagine how many elderly people are ripped off just because they are unable to understand all the insurance jargon thrown at them. It just makes you mad doesn't it?

Frost on the Pumpkin

2011-10-20T06:53:00.000-05:00

Well, there was frost on the pumpkin this morning! The first frost of the season for us. Hopefully the allergy sufferers will begin to see some relief including my brother. Mike won't have to wear his "pollen" hat much longer. He has a ball cap he calls his pollen hat because he doesn't want the pollen to fall on his head and into his eyes. He won't even answer the door without his pollen hat. He says the pollen comes in through the front door and lands on his head. I'm not questioning his theory, sounds plausible to me, but I don't have dread of the dire consequences like he does. :) He's a character!

Mike proudly called me the other day and told me he took a shower without his goggles and snorkel. I was quite impressed. I think he was trying to show me he was getting better because he thought I was about to go over the edge myself. But all is good........I'm back on track.

2011-10-19T08:54:00.000-05:00

I was in a really frazzled state last week. Too many people with too many problems all needing something from me and I finally felt the pressure. I just wanted to run away and not leave a forwarding address. But of course I didn't but Ron saw to it that I got out of the house Sunday afternoon and we turned off our cell phones and just drove out to the country. It was just what I needed......time to myself!

My daughter is better. She had her cast changed yesterday and is going back to her classroom today. I did her ironing for her Monday night because the poor kid can hardly get dressed let alone iron.

My niece (who is bipolar) is on the verge of being homeless. I am paying to have all her furniture moved into storage but I cannot invite her to live with us. It's just too much! It makes me feel horrible but in this situation I have to say no. Her mother finally offered to let her stay with her and her husband but my niece is refusing. Sooooooo she will have to deal with the consequences.

My brother is better this week. I think he sensed I was on overload and he backed off a little. He is seeing his psychologist about the choking phobia and the eye phobia and all the other phobias he deals with. I love him but his paranoia is exhausting at times.

I told my son-in-law that I just can't be the only sane person in my family. He said jokingly....."well, the bar hasn't even been set that high." I had to laugh at that one.

Thank goodness I am married to the kindest, most loving, most understanding man on the face of the planet. He is what keeps me going.

Strange Things You Likely Didn't Know ???

2011-10-17T13:04:00.001-05:00

A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
(That explains a few mysteries....)

Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Keinbock's surgery update day 2

2011-10-14T08:08:00.003-05:00

Well, my patient was pretty miserable yesterday. Seems the nerve block wore off after I left her house and she was up all night with pain. She has a really high tolerance to pain medication and it takes a buffalo dart to even get close to touching the pain. It's just going to take a few days before things get better.

I'm tired. !

I just called my daughter and she said she slept all night. That's great! That will help her more than anything else.

It's been hard to juggle Mike and taking care of my daughter. Mike doesn't do well when I'm not instantly available. He had a tooth pulled on Tuesday and he's been a little wound up ever since. It heightened his feeling that he's going choke. I don't know what to do about that but he's seeing his psychologist today to talk about it. I'm doing my best but I don't know how long it will be good enough to keep him out of a nursing home. Of course I don't know if a nursing home would ever accept him and his diagnosis of schizophrenia. At least not the nursing homes I would choose. Oh well, just keep plodding along.

Keinbock's surgery updatge

2011-10-12T19:55:00.000-05:00

My daughter had surgery today for Keinbock's disease. They removed a portion of the bone in her arm and put a plate in with pins. She did really well. They did a nerve block and she was awake during the 3 hour surgery. She wasn't even in the recovery room 30 minutes before she was released to go home. (modern medicine or insurance restrictions?) Anyway, she is resting this evening since the nerve block won't wear off for 24 hours. I'm going over to take care of her tomorrow.

While Jamie was in the pre-op she was checking her phone messages and she had one from her Uncle Mike. He had called to wish her a "Happy Surgery" followed by ummmmmmmmm "Is that right?" It was very sweet. The sentiment was just right.

Choking Phobia

2011-10-11T08:39:00.000-05:00

My brother has developed what the doctor refers to as a choking phobia. Since he has no physical condition that warrants a fear of choking it has now been diagnosed as a phobia.

Really? We need one more thing to get fixated on? He already thinks he is drowning in the shower, can't see because of pollen landing on his head, and what else.......oh yeah, intermittent blindness. Not to mention paranoid schizophrenia.

I'm making light of the situation because if I don't I'll be crazy as a bitsy bug myself. This new phobia has been going on for awhile but it comes and goes depending on whether he is blind that day or not. Blindness trumps choking I guess. But anyway Mike called me last Friday to tell me he was having suicidal thoughts. Now suicidal thoughts are not to be taken lightly so I immediately took off work and drove to his house. I started the conversation by asking him what had brought about these thoughts. He replied, "Choking".

"Choking"?

"Yeah"

"So you are afraid you will choke to death?" I asked.

"Yes"

"Well, let's think about that. You are afraid of dying so you are going to kill yourself. Does that sound like a solution to you?"

"Ummmmmm no, I guess that sounds kinda silly."

"I said, sounds like overkill to me." (pardon the pun)

We spent about another 2 hours talking about his fear of choking and why offing himself wasn't an appropriate response to his fear and then we contacted his psychologist and set up an appointment.

Each morning when the phone rings (promptly at 8:05) I never know what the day ahead holds for Mike. It may start out (in his words) a great day or it could be a day filled with exaggerated fears and paranoia but I can assure you it will not be dull!

Elsie

2011-10-10T10:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Ron and I attended the Blessing of the Animals service at our church. It was so sweet. I've never seen such well behaved dogs in my life. There was absolutely no barking and the only sound we heard was when a large hound decided to howl along with the clarinet playing. There was one dog though that I just couldn't take my eyes off. She has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen in my life.

This picture isn't her but it looks just like her. This dog is a Schnoodle but the owner I spoke with said her dog was a rescue dog and though she knows she's some kind of terrier she didn't know what kind. Her vet said the dog looks like Elsie the cow with those eyes and so that's how she got her name. Elsie!

Her owner expressed how this little girl had saved her life. She found her in a Walmart parking lot 3 months after her husband had died. After watching the dog nearly get hit by a car she decided to load her up and take her home. She has had her now for 2 years and she said she is her best friend and faithful companion.

Isn't it wonderful how animals touch our lives and give us such devotion whether we deserve it or not.

2011-10-07T09:31:00.000-05:00

I'm home today getting some things done. I am going to help my niece pack her apartment to get ready for a move. Ron and I are also keeping my daughter's two dogs this weekend while they are in New Orleans. Other daughter is in Boston this week. What jet setters! Not much going on otherwise. Ron is getting ready for the OU/Texas game tomorrow and he's already pacing the floor. I'm glad I'm going to be out of the house tomorrow because he makes me a nervous wreck.

CPR

2011-10-06T08:31:00.000-05:00

I spent the entire day yesterday in CPR and First Aid training. The American Heart Association has modified the CPR technique over the years and I think they have simplified it a great deal. Now the emphasis is on how quickly you begin CPR once the need is determined. They recommend assessment and activation be completed within 10 seconds of arrival at scene. Initiate compressions within 10 seconds of identifying cardiac arrest. Now that is fast. You only hope that if you were in a situation that required your intervention that you would remain cool and calm enough to initiate the proper response. It's one thing to perform adquately in a controlled situation like we had yesterday and a completely different thing when it is a true emergency. At least with proper training you can hope that what you have learned will kick in and just take over.

I was really glad to have a chance to practice using an AED to shock the heart back into normal rythym. I didn't realize how easy it is to use the machine. It is designed so that anyone, regardless of training, can operate it. It tells you everything to do very clearly. It is a shame that we don't have more machines out in the public.

Someone said the gym they go to doesn't have one. I think that should be the first question a person asks when they are considering joining a gym. Especially seniors although healthy young men have had heart attacks after exercising. All the YMCA facilities have AED's and people trained to use them. Health clubs should make that a priority as well. Does your health club have an AED or a trained first responder? It might be worth asking.

How Grandparents are Perceived

2011-10-04T08:07:00.004-05:00

Attention all Grandparents and soon-to-be Grandparents.

How children perceive their Grandparents ~

1.    She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter,
as she'd done many times before.    After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"    I will probably never put lipstick on again
without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2.    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.    He asked me how old I was,
and I told him, 80.    My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and

proceeded to wash her hair.    As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience
grew thin.    Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to
bed with stern warnings.    As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"

4.    A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.    "We used to skate

outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.
We picked wild raspberries in the woods. "The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said,

"I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5.    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''     "You're both old," he replied.

6.    A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.     She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out

something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep

from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,

"It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear,

Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep

her cool. "That's interesting." she said..     "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl.    "You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'."

11.    Children's Logic:    "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.    The small boy wrote:

"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you

know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.   The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.    "No," said another.    "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.   "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.    "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when

we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see

him enough to get as smart as him!

2011-10-03T08:59:00.000-05:00

We had a very busy weekend. The wedding was beautiful (of course I forgot my camera). The tables were decorated with tall frosted white fluted glassware filled with huge white feathers. There were blue lutes inside the glassware and I wish I'd taken a picture! The wedding ceremony began at 2:00 p.m. followed by a sitdown reception and the party lasted way into the night. Of course Ron and I were not able to stay up all night but we had a very enjoyable time.

We went to church yesterday and after Sunday school picked up Mike and brought him to the church service. We had lunch with him and then Ron stayed with him yesterday afternoon and watched a ballgame with him. Mike was having a little foggy weekend but it sounded clearer today. He's been having some paranoia issues lately. We have an Uncle who is just a little on the religious extreme side and he called Mike and must have talked a lot about the devil. That conversation set off a whole weekend of paranoia. I guess I can't protect Mike from everthing!

Plans for the weekend

2011-09-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

Very interesting that my young co-workers do not share my feelings about the child safety cones as noted in yesterday's post. They just think I'm a grumpy old woman!

Ron and I have a busy weekend ahead. We are attending a wedding on Saturday. The wedding starts at 2:00 p.m. and we don't expect to get home until after 11:00 p.m. That's a very long day for us but the bride is the daughter of my best friend and the groom is one of my favorite co-workers. I'm going to try and remember to take my camera.

Grouchy old lady? Maybe.

2011-09-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

I get really frustrated these days when I'm driving down a neighborhood and suddenly in the middle of the road is one of these.....

There are children everywhere and playing near the street if not in it. I can't help but wonder "What are the parents thinking?" I may be old but I wasn't allowed to play in or near the street as a kid. That's what backyards were for. I didn't allow my children to play near the street either. It isn't the responsibility of the public to keep my kids safe......it's MY responsibility!

This little guy isn't going to do it!

I did some research on this and this is what I found. There are a lot of towns and cities that ordinances against using these traffic signs.

• The signs do not work. Traffic studies have shown that they do not slow drivers or heighten attention to children in the area. Instead, parents and children become less cautious, which could cause accidents and near misses to increase.

• Signs and cones are confusing and distracting to motorists.

• If an unauthorized sign and cone caused a motorist to have an accident, this could lead to liability issues for those who placed the signs and/or cones in the street.

• Most accidents involving children are not caused by driver behavior but by the unsafe actions of the children. Because of this, we have found that focusing on educating children and parents is substantially more effective at preventing accidents than focusing on driver behavior.

• If children are allowed to play on a quiet neighborhood street, they may feel that it is safe for them to play on any street, even though other streets may have much more traffic traveling at higher speeds.

I have tried to back out of my brother's driveway to find myself blocked in by primary colored cones..........and 20 kids playing in the street. OK...exageration but at least 5 kids. It really does irritate me!

Hell hath no fury like a woman who just had her jewelry stolen

2011-09-27T09:45:00.000-05:00

A former co-worker was the victim of a robbery yesterday. She had worked as the receptionist at our hospital for more than 20 years before her retirement a few years ago. She is now in her late 60's and yesterday she interrupted a burglary in progress at her home when she returned from grocery shopping. She stepped into her house and came face-to-face with a 23 year old man robbing her of her jewelry. She looked at him and said, "You fool" and then was shot by the intruder with her own gun. She was hit in the shoulder and managed to get to her neighbor's house after the intruder ran out with her jewelry in hand. I saw the news report on tv last night. The news reporter ended the story by saying the robber was apprehended about an hour later with the victim's "costume jewelry". I had to get tickled knowing the victim as I do. She will probably sue the TV station for telling the world it was "costume" jewelry.

On a more serious note.....she was very lucky he didn't kill her. This is exactly why I do not have guns in my house. I refuse to furnish someone with a weapon to kill me with. I think people forget that the "bad guys" have the element of surprise on their side. Unless you are armed 24/7 and sitting in front of the door waiting for an intruder your guns probably won't be of much help to you. This particular intruder was a scrawny looking fella who crawled in through the doggie door.

A House Divided

2011-09-26T09:46:00.001-05:00

I think I've mentioned in the past that Ron and I are on opposite sides of the fence politically. Sometimes it can be very tricky to remain respectful of our differences of opinion. I admit that it is probably harder for me to remain respectful than it is for him. I can't help it....when I hear something that sounds just plain stupid I can't seem to hide my shock and ahh. This leads to the comment "Liberals just think they are superior". I've never thought I was superior..........just smarter. Maybe that is thinking I'm superior. I just struggle with wondering why people continue to vote against themselves. Why do they want to continue making the rich, richer and the poor, poorer including themselves?

A very conservative co-worker constantly talks about the horror of socialized medicine. Now, as a state employee his health insurance is paid 100%....doesn't cost him anything. Yet, he only goes to the Veteran's Hospital for medical care. Isn't that the biggest form of socialized medicine? I asked him once why he goes there and he answered, "Because it is free, I don't have to pay any co-pays". My question was "Well then why don't you want the same option for the rest of us?"

Why is it that conservatives talk about those free loading people who want everything for free but are the first ones to take advantage of any program that will save them money. Ron is against socialized medicine but when his own daughter and her family were unable to afford health insurance he sure didn't tell her to turn down the free care provided by the state. Just doesn't make sense to me. Either you are for it or against it.......which is it?

I just hate election time.......I can't wait to be bombarded by all my conservative friends with all the crazy emails and wild rants and accusations.

2011-09-23T08:06:00.000-05:00

I'm in the process of planning my weekend. Ron and I have been planning to have a yard sale the first of October. Everytime I've had one I swore it was the last. But then more stuff accumulates and I start thinking it's time to do it again. Ron enjoys meeting the people who come looking for bargains but then he isn't the one that does most of the work preparing the sale. My biggest issue is always finding enough tables to put everything on. I don't want to purchase another table because then I'd be working to pay for the table. Oh well, Guess I need to see it as just a way to clean house.

OU plays Missouri tomorrow night so I know where my husband will be. Mike will not be staying up to watch the game this week. I can't let him get off his routine because it will throw him into a tiz. He is just getting over Pink Eye and is doing pretty good right now. I want to keep it that way!

So.....alls good in Oklahoma. The weather is great and we've had a little rain so no complaints here. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

D O G

2011-09-21T09:33:00.011-05:00

The summer of 1996 did not start out to be a stellar summer for my daughter Julie. Her twin sister had just graduated and moved out of their apartment but Julie still had one class to complete before she was “officially” a graduate. Most of her friends had also graduated and moved on to begin their careers. The campus was not bustling with the usual frenzy of students and it looked like it was going to be a long, boring summer.

She lived in a three-story apartment complex just at the base of the campus. Her apartment was on the top floor and though the view was great she was a little tired of the daily climb. She had been treading up those three flights of stairs for four years and though the shapely curve of her legs was proof that exercise keeps you trim she was ready to live on the ground floor.

Living on the top floor had some advantages. Since the apartment complex was surrounded by a forest of huge trees it was like living in a tree house. Julie loved to open all the windows so the air could flow through the apartment. Her front door opened to a private landing so she would regularly leave the front door open to enhance the breeze. With the windows and door open she would often sit on the floor and work on her lessons.

One day she was sitting on the floor studying when she looked up to see a dog sitting in front of her door.

It was a very pretty Pembrooke Corgi. She looked to be about a year old and was just sitting there staring in at Julie. Julie couldn’t imagine how her short legs had managed to get her up the three flights of stairs to her apartment but she was a welcomed guest.

Julie, being a dog lover, tried to approach her but she quickly exited back down the long flight of stairs and was gone.

Every day Julie watched for the dog and usually about 3:00 in the afternoon she would look up to see her staring in the front door. Julie started leaving dog treats and a bowl of water just outside her door. Day after day the dog got a little braver until one day she ventured over the threshold into Julie's apartment. Julie checked her for a tag and found none. The little girl was friendly but still a bit cautious. However, every day after class Julie would find her waiting outside her apartment door.

Julie began calling the little dog D O G prounounced
"Dee O Gee". She was fast becoming Julie's new summer companion although it was still a mystery where she lived. She didn't look like a stray so Julie figured she must live somewhere in the apartment complex. Why she had ventured to Julie's three story landing was a mystery but she quickly became a welcomed intruder.

All summer Julie worked on her last class requirement and spent her evenings with D O G. They took walks in the park and mainly kept each other company.

Julie had begin to suspect that D O G lived in an apartment in the back of the complex. One evening when Julie was taking her trash to the dumpster she heard a dog yelp. Just as she turned to see where the sound had come from she saw D O G get the heel of a boot from a young man. He yelled something like, "That @#$% dog" as he walked into an apartment. D O G had made a fast get away into the bushes and though Julie called out to her she didn't reappear.

Julie didn't see D O G for about a week and just when she was about to go knock on the door of the apartment where she'd last been seen Julie opened her front door to find
D O G sitting outside her door. This time she wasn't alone. With her were two puppies that D O G had painstakingly brought up the three flights of stairs to Julie's door. Julie decided right then and there that obviously D O G wanted Julie to help her. So that is when my daughter turned into a dognapper. She waited until dark and then loaded up D O G and her two boys and drove all the way home to my house. She arrived about midnight and I then became the reciever of stolen property.

It didn't take long for Julie to find a good home for not only D O G but her two boys, Darrell and his other brother Darrell. All three dogs lived long and happy lives on the farm of one of Julie's friends. Fortunately, Julie's picture hasn't shown up at the post office either!

Mike Update

2011-09-20T08:05:00.001-05:00

Mike saw the doctor yesterday and we were able to get a referal for a neurological exam. I've wanted this ever since he got out of the hospital. I'm hoping it will explain the sudden cognitive impairment and give us an idea of what is ahead for him. In addition, we were able to get a Medicare referal for a home health nurse. She would fill his med planner and monitor his medications. That will just help him out financially and it will give me some help with his meds. If this doesn't work out I'm looking at the Phillips medication dispenser program. It looks like a possible option. Right now I fill his med planner every week but I also have to call and remind him to take his medication 4 times a day. I'm looking for anything that will help with this and the Phillips program may be the thing.

Saturday night Mike watched the Okla/Florida State game with Ron. I had convinced him he could stay up long enough to see the game. BIG MISTAKE! It threw him into a tiz the next day big time. He just has to stay on a schedule. We won't do that again! I had to stay home with him Sunday because he wasn't functioning well at all. He's much better today. It just took a day or so to get him back on track.

So, we are a work in progress. Learning something every day and coping the best way we can. Sometimes I think I get so wrapped up in taking care of Mike I forget about Ron. Things are going good with Ron right now and I kind of put his cancer on the back burner until the next PET scan. I worry that I'm not being diligent although I don't know what to be diligent about.

Is it that time of year again?

2011-09-15T11:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not talking about the impending holidays.......nope I'm talking about election year 2012. I'm not looking forward to this...... All the slamming and posturing and stupidity that comes with elections. It's enough to make you want to throw out your tv and start working on your reading list. And here it is September 2011 and it has already begun. I guess I'm cynical because it's just more noise to me. Knowing how politicians work for the highest bidder and not for us (the people) just grates all over me. Of course what is their motivation? They don't have the save health insurance issues that we have, social security or medicare don't affect them, they have a retirement for life after one term, so what is their motivation to look out for the people? So grab your @#$% with both hands and hang on........the bull @#$& is going to fly!

School Days

2011-09-14T11:43:00.007-05:00

My brother, Michael Gene (Mike), wasn't particularly thrilled with having a baby sister but he was however totally devoted to his big brother Butch. Mike wouldn't allow Mom and Dad to leave him with any other baby sitter. He was Butch's shadow and idolized him. Mike was also a pretty baby, so pretty in fact that he won a baby contest only to be disqualified when they discovered he was a boy. It seems he won in the girl's category due in no small part to the beautiful long curls my mother did not have the heart to cut.

People often mistook Mike and I for twins since we were so close in age. We were however opposite in looks and personality. Mike had dark brown hair and brown eyes. He had dark complexion where I was fair and blue eyed. When we were little I was very passive and Mike was as stubborn as a goat. When he was about four years old the decision was made that he would begin sleeping in his own bed and Butch would move out into the newly converted garage bedroom. Well, this didn't settle well with Mike and for three nights he was put to bed at which time he would promptly get up and go to Mom and Dad's room to announce he wasn't sleeping in that bed. After all attempts to put him back in his own bed had failed he was told he could sit on the end of their bed but he would not be allowed to sleep there. Every time he would start to nod off Mom would nudge him awake with her foot. This went on for three nights before he finally surrendered from exhaustion.

There were never too many rules imposed upon Mike and I, maybe because we were the babies and maybe because our parents were more relaxed with us. But mom did have one big rule and that was that we were to play in the back yard only. This wasn't a real big problem since we had a swing set (which Mike was great at swinging higher and higher until he could turn the whole thing over) and we had a great dog named Rusty. But the rule did present a problem when the Howdy Doody ice cream truck came dinging its' way down the street. It was impossible to reach through the fence all the way to the curb. Sometimes when we were able to attract the attention of the "big kids" on the block they would take our dimes and make our ice cream purchase for us. One of those "big kids" was Bobby Cohen. He was the big brother of, now country and western singer, Vince Gill. Vince was just a baby at that time but they lived just a few doors away.

Even though Mike and I didn't have many interests in common and we seldom played together, I wasn't thrilled when he started going to school. Our house wasn't far from the grade school, which was just on the other side of the university’s intramural field. If I stood on the top of the swing set in the back yard I could see the school. Every day I would watch Mike as he crossed the field

on his way to school and I would watch again at 3:00 pm for his return. I wasn't sure what this school business was all about but I knew I didn't like being left out of it.

Then in October Mike took me to school with him to attend his Halloween party. We walked across the intramural field along with other kids dressed in assorted ghoulish costumes. I followed Mike down the school sidewalk to the very last classroom with the big, blue door. Inside were rows of tiny desks and chairs. I was very impressed when my brother directed me to his assigned place in the room. The teacher brought a little chair and placed it next to my brother’s. Then a wonderful thing happened, out of nowhere, mothers showed up with huge assortments of cookies. There were orange pumpkins, chocolate witches and vanilla ghosts. I thought this school thing was pretty cool and I could hardly wait until it was my turn to go.

All summer I eagerly waited for the first day of school. My visit in October had convinced me this was the place to be. Finally the day arrived but I wondered why Mike wasn't sharing my enthusiasm as we neared our classroom doors. Then I went inside, there were the same rows of little desks, the same little chairs, but wait, NO COOKIES! I wondered if it was too late to reconsider this school thing. Unfortunately, it was!

Interesting Article

2011-09-13T09:11:00.000-05:00

Diet Soda = Diabetes Soda
It may be calorie-free, but diet soda is linked to diabetes and metabolic problems in new study.
By Leah Zerbe

Topics: sugar tax, diabetes, nutrition

Skip soda altogether, and avoid other beverages that seem healthy but aren’t.

Healthy eating tends to go out the window when diet soda's on the menu.

RODALE NEWS, EMMAUS, PA—If you’re fueling up on french fries and spending a lot of time parked on the couch, don’t expect diet soda to save you. Downing calorie-free pop could have the unappetizing consequence of increasing your risk of developing diabetes, according to a new study published in the journal Diabetes Care.

THE DETAILS: Researchers looked at people’s diet soda consumption between the years 2000 and 2002, and then screened them for type 2 diabetes between 2002 and 2007, as part of the Multi-Ethnic Study of Atherosclerosis, or MESA, an investigation involving more than 6,800 people between 45 and 84 years old. People who drank at least one diet soda a day at the beginning of the study had a 67 percent higher relative risk of type 2 diabetes compared with the people who drank none. Zero-calorie soda also increased the risk of metabolic syndrome—a group of risk factors linked to obesity that increase your chances of heart disease, diabetes, and stroke—by 36 percent.

WHAT IT MEANS: Sipping diet soda to avoid calories sounds like a good idea, but in the real world it tends to come along with other behaviors that may endanger your health. This study didn’t look at the possible cause between the association of diabetes and diet soda, but the lead author has a pretty good idea why this happens. “Although our data did not clearly support this theory, I suspect that persons drinking diet soda are likely eating other foods that elevate risk of metabolic disorders,” says lead study author Jennifer Nettleton, PhD, assistant professor of epidemiology at The University of Texas School of Public Health, in Houston. “People drinking diet soda are likely to miscalculate the amount of caloric savings, thus over-consuming other foods, resulting in greater overall energy consumption.”

Here’s how to avoid health problems that come in a calorie-free can:

• Water yourself! Hands down, the best thing you can drink is water. Although this study didn’t find a link between sugar-sweetened soda and diabetes as many other studies have, Nettleton says that’s not a reason for diet drinkers to go back to sugar-swamped beverages. Water should be your drink of choice. Beyond that, check the Beverage Guidance Panel’s tiered system to help you make the healthiest choices.

• Look at the whole picture. If diabetes is a real threat to you, chances are your entire problem isn’t coming from a soda can or bottle, but rather a slew of factors. To keep your blood sugar steady, eat a balanced diet with as little refined sugar as possible (replace processed foods with whole, organic vegetables and fruits), cut out soda and sweetened juices containing little real fruit juice, and get more active, even if that means walking in 10-minute spurts several times a day. Make lots of small changes you can stick to, rather than a single dramatic one. “Lifestyle changes must be moderate and sustainable, and focus on all aspects of diet—not just single food and beverage entities—and include physical activity and stress management,” says Nettleton. “Too many marketing gimmicks exist that suggest there is a single ‘panacea’ to prevent obesity and its related morbidities. This simply isn’t the case.”

A Better Day

2011-09-09T12:13:00.000-05:00

    Mike had a much better day yesterday! Just when I think I have lost my ability to cope and I'm at my wits end God steps in. I got just the break I needed and am ready to start over. In fact I'm the one who called Mike last night because I HADN'T heard from him since 2pm. He was fine, just tired from his busy day. He volunteered at the church thrift store yesterday, something he really enjoys and he was tired.
Ron and I have a lot going on this weekend. We are going to a memorial service for an old high school classmate on Saturday. I hate the fact that we are now at that age when we are losing many of our friends but I guess this is where we are in life.
I've been watching documentaries on 9/11 and we saw one last night on flight 175 that flew into the World Trade Center. They interviewed family members who spoke with their loved ones during the highjacking. One set of parents were watching the plane on tv while talking to their son on th phone just as the plane went into the tower. I was ahhh struck by the calmness in his voice. It made me think that I would have felt lucky to have been able to speak one last time to my loved one. I hope it gave those family members some sense of peace. I can't imagine induring such pain.
   Ron and I will be attending a meeting Sunday night with several different religious leaders of varying faiths in our community. It is an opportunity to discuss ways to strengthen our communities. I'm looking forward to hearing what they have to say.

Three Blind Mice

2011-09-08T11:14:00.001-05:00

Some days my brother really tests my last nerve. I'm not proud of that fact but it just comes with the territory. He has developed a fixation on his eyes. He was seen by the Ophthalmologist who diagnosed him with allergies. No big surprise since he is allergic to everything in nature. His eyes get matted and they will water, itch and burn. He has some prescription eye drops and he uses artificial tears when needed. But..........he is so fixated on it that he thinks he is totally debilitated because of his eyes.

He called me at least 30 times yesterday which was a clue that he was obsessing about something. At 2pm he called and asked me to come over at 5:00 if he wasn't any better. I asked him what was wrong and he replied, "I'm blind."

"What do you mean your blind?" I asked.

"My eyes shut down....I'm blind...I've been blind all day." responded Mike.

Hmmmmmmm the other 29 calls there was no mention of being BLIND.

This has become an every day topic. He is driving me nuts with this. He wanted the neighbor to come over and help him. I asked him what he needed help with and he said, "To go to the bathroom."

I got frustrated and told him I was sure he could find the bathroom with his eyes closed and I know he knows where his (pardon the expression) pecker is so leave the poor neighbor alone.

He wears goggles in the shower and now he's blind. Of course he was no longer blind at 4:00. The neighbor came over and put drops in Mike's eyes and low and behold........the blind can see!!! Pardon my sarcasm - it's just a tension release.

God.........give me patience....but hurry!

I Hope Love Does Win

2011-09-07T10:28:00.006-05:00

My brain has been really quiet lately, not much going on in my head. My dad used to tell all of his children that they had shiny little brains without a wrinkle in them. Lately, my little wrinkle-less brain has been totally empty. I hate to write something down that even bores the snot out of me so I’ve been waiting for a bolt of inspiration. Unfortunately nothing of any magnitude has come along.

Our Sunday school class has been reading Love Wins, by Rob Bell. We did have quite the discussion last Sunday led by a well-educated philosopher who spoke way over my head for most of the class. There were also lively interjections by a Cornell University science graduate who merely rebuffed any inquiry into matters that could not be measured scientifically.

Here are some excerpts from Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Has Ever Lived
“A staggering number of people have been taught that a few select Christians will spend forever in a peaceful, joyous place called heaven, while the rest of humanity spends forever in torment and punishment in hell with no chance for anything better. It's been clearly communicated to many that this belief is a central truth of the Christian faith and to reject it is, in essence, to reject Jesus. This is misguided and toxic and ultimately subverts the contagious spread of Jesus message of love, peace, forgiveness, and joy that our world desperately needs to hear."

"At the center of the Christian tradition since the first church has been the insistence that history is not tragic, hell is not forever, and love, in the end, wins."

"When people say they're tired of hearing about "sin" and "judgment: and "condemnation," it's often because those have been confused for them with the nature of God. God has no desire to inflict pain or agony on anyone."

"For some, the highest form of allegiance to their God is to attack, defame, and slander others who don't articulate matters of faith as they do."

"None of us have cornered the market on Jesus, and none of us ever will."

In an exclusive interview with USA TODAY, Bell jokes: "I am not aware that labels are the highest form of goodness and truth." He rebuffs critics who say he presents a Jesus-optional Christianity: "Jesus spoke of the renewal of all things. He said, 'I have sheep who are not of this flock.' Through him, extraordinary things are happening in the world. If saying that gets you banned from the E-club, so be it."

Bell's view is "that God is love, that he sent Jesus to show us that love, that love demands freedom. So making definitive judgments about other people's destiny is not interesting to me. The heart of God is to rescue everyone from everything we need to be rescued from."

I can’t help but think about what my maternal grandmother’s reaction to this book might be. She was of a fundamentalist faith that did not encourage freethinking. In other words they did not care if “Inquiring minds wanted to know”.

One thing that was brought up in class was the idea that before we begin our earthly lives as humans we have all the knowledge we need. We know everything there is to know about God. It is an innate knowledge given to us all by God. But, once we enter into our earthly bodies and lives we may begin to lose that knowledge.

Well, the way I interrupted this is that we may have that innate knowledge but sometimes we just “educate” it right out of ourselves. (Like my two friends in class) My thoughts are that we all or at least most of us have a voice inside us that we either choose to listen to or to ignore. That voice can be called a conscience or whatever else you might name it. If we listen to it we know when we are treating someone in a way that we would not like to be treated. We have to be conscious of our intention. Now what we humans are very good at is justifying our actions. Frankly I believe religion over complicates the whole thing.

"Satan is the best friend the church has ever had as he has kept it in business all these years." -Anton LaVey

“I’d rather believe and be wrong than not believe and be wrong.” –Pascal

I haven’t finished the book yet but there are some points that resonate with me. I agree with the author that the idea that geography may dictate whether you go to heaven or not never quite made sense to me. What would be God’s purpose for that?

Gotta Stay Healthy

2011-09-01T14:46:00.001-05:00

I know it doesn't sound possible but this is the first time that it has ever hit me that I can't afford to be sick. I haven't felt good since last Friday and after a week it finally hit me that I CAN'T get sick. I am the caregiver and caregivers just don't have time to get sick. What really got me was thinking about what would happen to my brother if I were not here to look after him? I can't believe I've never thought about that before. I just assume I'll always be here to take care of him. How naive is that? I know it is silly to worry about things that haven't happened but it really did shake me up to think I can't afford to get sick. Thank goodness there is nothing seriously wrong with me but it did give me cause to think about the situation. I'm sure this is a concern for all caregivers.

Techno Savy

2011-08-31T10:17:00.003-05:00

What is it about blogging that is so addictive? What makes a person (me) want to put their whole life out into the universe for all the world to see? I don't know the answer to that but I know I can't resist it. When I started this it was with the intention of making it a private journal but I wasn't smart enough to figure out how to do that. All it took was receiving that first "comment" and I couldn't have cared less who read my thoughts. Since then I have met wonderful people who have offered me encouragement when I needed it and shared the wisdom of their own experiences. I have shared with them some of the most trying times of my life and some of the happiest. Through their blogs I have laughed and been enlightened. I've learned everything from animal rescue to the art of floral arranging. I have marveled at their ability to write with humor and have traveled to places I might never have seen otherwise.

I am now addicted to being able to see who has stumbled upon my rants and am always amazed as to just how we are all connected by the click of a key. People from all over the world. Most are like me and merely take a glimpse and move on without leaving a comment. But that's OK...though I love to read the comments left behind by strangers, just knowing they peaked in is good enough.

I am not computer savy or even technologically enlightened but I do know a good thing when I see it. THIS is a good thing!

Not much going on here!

2011-08-30T08:03:00.001-05:00

Wish I could say I am feeling better but my doctor put me on a Sulfa drug and it's making me sick at my stomach. I only have to take it 3 days and this is day 2 so maybe I'll make it. Three doses down and 3 to go. Unfortunately tonight is my monthly board meeting so it will unfortunately be a long day. Hope everyone's day is wonderful!

Counting Your Blessings

2011-08-29T13:18:00.001-05:00

The weekend was so so. I was sick all weekend and didn't get out of bed all day Saturday. Ron took over and spent Saturday with Mike just so I could get some rest. They went to an OU alumni basketball game which Mike thoroughly enjoyed. He even lasted through the whole game. Ron took him to eat and it was just a big day for Mike.

Sunday Ron took Mike to church. As they were seated in the sanctuary Mike asked Ron when the first OU football game was going to happen. Ron told him and Mike asked if he could stand up and yell Boomer Sooner. Thank goodness he asked first! Ron told him church might not be the proper venue.

Last night Mike called me and said his neighbor Tom asked if he could mow Mike's yard for him for free. His kindness made Mike cry and his neighbor said, "You can pay me by sharing your blessings with me." So, Mike called me to get help writing down his blessings. We talked about what he considers his blessings which were University of Oklahoma football, his Silver Slippers aerobics class, his neighbor Tom, his church and his brother and sister. Then Mike told me he told Tom he would give him his blessings in three's. I just love the way he thinks..................

My Cousin Charlie

2011-08-26T11:34:00.004-05:00

My mama had a cousin named Wanda who had a son by the name of Charles Jr. known as just plain Charlie to us cousins. Now cousin Charlie didn’t fall far from the tree, so-to-speak, and was as colorful, if not more so, than his infamous mom. As scatter brained as Wanda was Charlie was just the male version of his mother. When Charlie was about 17 years old his mother asked him to go to the store to get a loaf of bread. Somewhere on route to the store Charlie decided to keep going. He ended up 200 miles west at the Oklahoma City airport where he sat and watched planes take off and land for two days. On the third day he headed back home but without the bread. The crazy thing about this is his parents were never alarmed because, “Well, that’s just Charlie.”

Charlie is the oldest of 3 kids. He has two younger sisters Judy and Karen. Charlie’s dad was a career Marine who spent most of WWII in a Japanese prison camp. Big Charlie was a tough taskmaster and my dad once said that he wasn’t the only one in the Marine Corp. His whole family was as well. Big Charlie served in WWII, Korea and Viet Nam. Those years of battle and captivity made him tough but he was especially hard on his only son. Little Charlie could never seem to live up to his father’s expectations. And the fact that he marched to a different drummer made it all the more complicated. Neither of them understood the other and there was tension between them their whole lives.

Charlie’s home town had a population of about 10,000 so when he came to Norman to attend the University of Oklahoma, with a student population twice the size of his home town, you would expect it to be quite the culture shock. Not for Charlie. He was oblivious to his surroundings and he had a system of enrolling that I had never seen then or since. As we walked the campus Charlie would point to a building and ask, “What do they teach in there?” After hearing my response he would reply, “Well, I like that building, I think I’ll just take some of that.” And so it went. We had no idea if he would every get a degree but 4 years later he graduated with a degree in physical education. That fact may say more about the academic standards of the University than Charlie’s intelligence.

After Charlie finished school he enlisted in the Marine Corp. following his father’s footsteps and possibly hoping to finally receive his approval. He served one tour of duty and immediately re-enlisted for a second. After two years in Viet Nam we woke up one morning to find Charlie asleep on the floor in my brother’s room. Charlie had tapped on Mike’s window in the middle of the night and crawled through and slept at the foot of Mike’s bed. The next morning the family was surprised when Charlie strolled in the kitchen and sat down at the table for breakfast. Surprised my dad asked, “When did you get home Charlie?”

“Yesterday sir.”

“How are your mom and dad? I’m sure they are happy to have you home.”

“I don’t know how they are, I haven’t been home yet.”

Right then my dad handed Charlie the phone and said, “Son, call your folks and let them know you are safe and then we’re going to put your butt on a bus for home.”

Two years in Viet Nam and the first place he comes to was my brother’s bedroom window. Go figure!

I remember the story Charlie’s mom Wanda would tell about the time the Marine Corp transferred Big Charlie to Hawaii. The entire family went by ship to the island. Charles Jr. and Judy were just 8 and 9 years old at the time but they were so mischievous they had the run of the ship. They had noticed that every evening people would put their shoes outside their cabin doors so the Porter could pick them up to be shined and then returned the next morning. One evening Judy and Charlie decided for some reason to gather all the shoes left out on the ship. I’m not sure what they planned to do with them, perhaps they were going to start their own shoe shine business. By the time Big Charlie discovered what they were doing there was no way to return them to their rightful owners because the kids couldn’t remember what shoes went to what room. After notifying the Captain of the situation a room was set up on board the ship where rows of shoes lined the assembled tables and all passengers missing shoes were invited to come and look for them. Charlie and Judy had to stand sentry by the shoes and apologize to each and every passenger who came by.

Momnesia

2011-08-24T13:39:00.001-05:00

One of our local news stations has been talking lately about something called “Momnesia”, a condition that results after giving birth causing a woman to lose her memory. I didn’t even know there was a name for this phenomenon. I thought I simply gave birth to two 6 pound babies and ½ my brain. They say your memory will return about a year after giving birth but I’m here to tell you that it’s been 40 years since I lost half my brain and I’m pretty sure it’s gone for good. The half I have left isn’t the useful half either. It’s not the half that could do fractions or remember phone numbers or why I walked into the kitchen for that matter. They say that when Momnesia is finally over it is replaced with a keener insight better known as intuition. I think that’s just a nice way of saying, “You aren’t crazy, you’re just a mother”. But somehow I managed to work two jobs, raise two kids, keep the lawn mowed and go to school with just ½ a brain. Politicians have been elected with much less. Just imagine what I could have done with my cerebellum intact.

Time to Celebrate!

2011-08-23T21:41:00.000-05:00

It's Party Time! We got Ron's report on his recent PET scan and his oncologist told us that the new spot on his lung that was found 3 months ago is GONE...... There was no change in the other spots, they hadn't grown or changed in any way. There were some new small spots but she believes they are inflamation. The kidney site was clear as well. This was the best report we have received since his diagnosis two years ago. We were so relieved. He goes back in November for a CAT scan. She didn't think he needed another PET scan. We are doing the happy dance~

Living with Super Man

2011-08-23T09:10:00.001-05:00

Last night Ron and I were having dinner when suddenly a piece of meat got stuck in my throat. When I say stuck, I mean stuck. Not a sound was coming from my mouth and all I could do was grab my throat and jump straight up and stomped my foot. Which I did. Ron thought I saw a bug but quickly realized I was choking. He grabbed me and started the Heimlich.....after about 3 thrusts....up came the meat! Hooray...my hero......he saved me from a Cass Elliot fate. But seriously, it scared us both to death! Make sure you know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver....it could save someone you love.

It's also a good idea, especially for seniors, to know CPR. Because I work in a hospital I am required to be certified every year but you can get training at any local Red Cross center and it can provide a sense of security to know what to do in an emergency. You can also receive a basic first aide course as well. Knowledge is power!

Today we get Ron's PET scan results! We need all the positive vibes we can get. This is the day we dread....I am practically shaking when the doctor enters the room. I hold my breath, trying to pick up any clue from her facial expression. I'm afraid not only for Ron and what his reaction to bad news might be but also fear that I won't be strong enough to give him what he needs. I try so hard to hide my fear.

This morning Ron said, "I'll be glad when 2:00 gets here." We then started talking about our expectations. Reminding ourselves that he is doing well and has had no apparent symptoms of cancer. We reminded ourselves that the 4 spots found in his lung have not been biopsied so for now cancer has not been confirmed. I've been so worried about his lung that I forget about the possibility of the cancer returning to its original site. Would Ron choose to have a 3rd operation to remove it if it comes back? He said he would. Last time it came back 6 months after his first surgery. It has now been 6 months since the second surgery.

All I can do is pray and wait! He's the love of my life!

Help

2011-08-22T08:43:00.000-05:00

Saw the movie, "The Help" this weekend. Loved it. I can't say whether I liked the book or the movie the best because for me the tone of each was very different. The movie was more of a comedy and though the book had humorous parts it had (for me) a more serious under tone.

Ron is having his PET scan this morning and we get the results tomorrow at 2:00 pm. Do people ever get used to this? Living 3 months at a time because you can't plan anything further out than that. Always feeling like the anvel is about to fall on your head and you can only hope that when it does it will get you with one blow and not just take you away piece by piece? I keep saying positive affirmations every day that everything will be OK. That we will have years together and that his cancer will be gone. Thankfully he is feeling good and looks healthy so I have great hope that tomorrow will go well.

My daughter is still struggling to improve. She's really had a rough time. I saw her Saturday and did her laundry for her. Trying to relieve some of her stress. I just wish I could relieve some of her pain. She will see her neurosurgeon this week I believe and hopefully he can give her some encouragement that the pain will get better.

I'm asking for good wishes and prayers for tomorrow!

Ring Ring....."Hello, Alexander calling."

2011-08-18T09:17:00.004-05:00

I know a lot of seniors are now on Facebook and Twitter but do they utilize it in the same way as the younger folks? I know that I just lurk about on Facebook reading the posts of others but I seldom post anything myself. I'm not sure why I have not been attracted to this form of communication but it just doesn't do anything for me. It's obviously not because I have trouble sharing my thoughts....I do that here all the time! I get on Facebook to see what my daughters are up to since they have all but given up using the phone except for texting which to their frustration, I don't do.

Texting is a whole other rant....I still don't get it!!!!! In my mind the invention of the telephone was and still is one of the greatest achievements. No more Morse Code.......or at least we thought! The art of spelling and grammar will be lost forever thanks to texting.

I saw a room full of girls at my friend's house recently. The girls were all sitting in the den with cell phones in hand and they were busy texting, tweeting, posting, and whatever and not a one of them looked up to interact personally. It was the weirdest thing I ever saw. Not a sound in the room, no talking, no giggling girls, it was just weird. How on earth will these kids know how to have a personal relationship with anyone? I've heard of parents having to text their kids (while in the same house) in order to get their attention and call them to dinner. OMG!!!!!!!
>

Weekend Updates

2011-08-15T08:28:00.003-05:00

The weekend was good but not long enough! Ron and I met his aunt and cousin for dinner at Charleston's Friday night and that was fun. Ron doesn't have many relatives left and his Aunt Florine is 80 now but she's very healthy and looks fantastic. For her birthday her daughter brought her to Okla. City for a spa weekend. Nice way to spend your 80th birthday......little pampering is good for the soul.

My latest Mike story is we found out he had gotten some kind of aversion to the shower. Something about the water hurting his eyes or his skin or he couldn't breathe in the water or something to that affect so he had just been "patting his hair with water to remove the pollen". Sooooo I got into action and Ron and I purchased him a pair of swim goggles and a snorkel and said, "Have at it". (A sight I can only imagine) Evidently it resolved all his issues (at least for the time being) and he was spiffy and ready for church yesterday! Now, if he decides he needs swim fins for the shower I'm drawing the line.

My poor daughter is still struggling with her recovery. She's still having a lot of pain and is scared she will not be recovered enough for the first day of school. A room full of 5-year olds requires more stamina than she has at the moment. I'm just hoping things start to level out for her.

My little ole ulcer seems to be responding to the new medication so I'm feeling better. All in all not a bad weekend! Hope your's was good too!

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

2011-08-12T08:32:00.000-05:00

I spent yesterday going to doctor appointments and playing chauffeur for my daughter. I was lucky the lab tech hit my vein with the first stick (something that rarely happens). I learned that I'm not handling stress as well as I thought I was. I thought I was pretty good at venting and sharing all my gunk......I do it here. But, evidently that isn't quite enough as it appears I have developed an ulcer. I finally gave in and went to the doctor when the pain got to be too much to ignore. So, guess I'll have to work on finding some other ways to cope. What really got my attention was how my stomach would start hurting every time I talked to Mike on the phone. I knew I was getting impatient with him and I felt bad about it but it was having the same conversation over and over and over again that was getting to me. At least 15 - 20 times a day! I have learned how to work at my desk and talk to Mike on the phone at the same time. I leave work at 4:00 and my phone rings at home at 4:25 on the dot. It doesn't stop until Ron gets home at 7:00 pm and he takes over the calls. Then Mike goes to bed at 8:00. That's when I finally let out a long sigh........but the guilt sure has been eating (literally) at me. That frustration is what I need to learn how to handle.

The Help

2011-08-09T12:30:00.006-05:00

I finished reading the book The Help by Kathryn Stockett last night. I was happy to wait on the heating & air guy just so I could have uninterrupted time to finish the book. Although I found the book very enjoyable I must admit that I wasn’t immediately spellbound as I often am by a book. What it did however was take me immediately back to my teenage years during a tumultuous time in our Nation’s history. It made me keenly aware of just how sheltered a life I have led and how extraordinarily naïve I was and probably still am.

I watched the civil rights movement unfold on the screen of our black and white television, not in my school. The only time I was exposed to the inequality between those of color and myself was when I watched the six o’clock news. The moment the channel was changed so also ended my exposure. With the flip of a dial I was once again just a kid living in a very white world.

I only had one personal experience in 1957 when I was eight years old. My mother and I were in Oklahoma City shopping for school clothes and we had gone to the Katz drug store for a coke when several black people came in and initiated a sit-in. I didn’t even know that black people were not served in restaurants at the time. I had no idea what segregation was. My mother explained to me what was happening and I remember looking at the faces of everyone as they peacefully demonstrated. I also remember the faces of the patrons. I don’t remember seeing hatred or angry faces but more the faces of people uncomfortable with what was taking place, almost embarrassed. Today I wonder if the embarrassment was for themselves or those trying to gain equal rights.

I also remember being horrified and confused by the hatred so vile and so venomous that escalated to the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing. Again my only exposure was through the voices of the news commentators describing how four little girls were killed including eleven-year old Denise McNair, when a white man placed a bomb under the steps of their church. I was thirteen at the time and somehow drawn to the little girl who shared my first name. I was horrified when the news commentator said she was decapitated in the blast. I remember thinking how vulnerable they were and wondering if they were aware that they weren’t even safe in church.

As I grew up I developed my own prejudices. I became very judgmental of the South and what it had come to represent in my mind. These prejudices were based not on my own personal experiences but only those I witnessed from a safe distance. I have to admit I’m still wrestling with my perceived judgments. The difference now is that I realize I’m as guilty of stereotyping a group of people as they were. I’m also not very proud of that fact.

As a little side note of interest here is a story behind the story so to say. Ablene Cooper, a 60-year-old woman who has long worked as a maid in Jackson, Mississippi, has filed a lawsuit against Kathryn Stockett.

In the complaint, Ms. Cooper argues that one of the book’s principal characters, Aibileen Clark, is an un-permitted appropriation of her name and image, which she finds emotionally distressing.

It is more complicated than that. For the past dozen years, Ms. Cooper has worked for Ms. Stockett’s older brother, Robert, and sister-in-law, Carroll, and still does.

It’s hard to understand why anyone would have a problem being compared or mistaken for the noble Aibeleen. Alhough the character of Aibileen is portrayed in a sympathetic, even saintly light, she endures the racial insults of the time, something that Ms. Cooper said she found “embarrassing.”

I wonder if she was as embarrassed before the book was such a financial success? Just wondering!

Surgery Update

2011-08-08T10:49:00.001-05:00

I'm back after a weekend of caregiving. My poor daughter is struggling to recooperate but having a great deal of pain. She is allergic to the surgical glue so she has horrible blisters around the incision site. She was allergic to the plastic tubing used for her IV and her arm is swollen and spotted with hives. She's a mess! She is having those post-surgical blues where she thinks she made a mistake allowing anyone to operate on her. She thinks her pain is far worse than before surgery. Unfortunately, her surgeon told her she would have immediate pain relief in her back and the only thing she would have is a sore throat! Not the case. They have not been able to reach her doctor to see what is going on but hopefully they'll make contact today.

Now, to top things off our air conditioner decided to quit with 109 temperatures expected today. We were fortunate enough to find someone who could come out today so we're lucky! Now, I have to pray it doesn't break the bank to fix it!

Long Day at the Hospital

2011-08-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

Well the girls did their twin thing today. Twin one had surgery and was in a great deal of pain. Twin two passed out cold from empathy! Mom......had her hands full!

The surgery went well but they haven't been able to get the pain under control. It has remained at a 10 since she came out of surgery. They told her that spinal surgery is different from anything she has had before. Nerve pain is hard to manage. I'm hoping that when the swelling goes down maybe the pain will lessen.

Jamie was holding her sister's hand and wiping away the tears and all of a sudden I saw her going out like a light. She was completely unconscious for what seemed like a very long time. The nurse got to her and knuckled her in the chest and slapped her face a little and she finally started coming around. We decided we couldn't leave her with Julie tonight to I stayed with both of them until midnight and then my son-in-law took over for the rest of the night.

Each of the girls have fainted when I had surgery so we are accustomed to the routine. We are a medical comedy!

Back to the Drawing Board

2011-08-03T09:26:00.002-05:00

Well, as much as I wanted to believe I had found the miracle elixir (substitute for milk) I wasn't successful. I found out this morning when I was called by the security alarm company that Mike's alarm was going off. I got in the car and drove to his house after being unable to reach him by phone. I arrived as the police drove up. Mike was fine but a little disoriented. He had accidentally set off his alarm and with the commotion he got a little rattled. Fortunately he was fine and that's all that mattered.

I decided to sit with him for awhile until he calmed down when I noticed he had a really bright red rash on his side. Sure enough it is a reaction to the Rice milk. When he has reactions like that they can also affect his thinking. This explained all the confusion this morning.

Poor guy! I wanted to cry......but we both decided it was worth trying. I doctored his rash and will see what else is out there. It appears though that being allergic to every grain known to man will present a challenge. I just hope that his reaction is limited to that one spot. I've seen him when 1/2 of his body was a red as a tomato and on fire. It's very painful too.

Due to the drought my house has slipped off it's axis. I had piers placed around the foundation because my house sits on clay soil. I try to keep the foundation wet but this heat is too much and my efforts have not paid off. So, the house has shifted once again and a crack has re-opened on the side of the house. I have a lifetime warranty on the piers but since they aren't making anymore money off of me the company doesn't jump right on the job.

So.....I guess Mike isn't the only one who has slipped a few degrees off his axis! :)

Yesterday I was advised that my daughter Julie will have spinal surgery tomorrow. She has 5 ruptured discs in her back and a narrowing around the spinal cord with a lot of nerves compressed. This was due to her ski accident two years ago. She has had two ACL surgeries on her knee and now this.

My other daughter learned that she has Kienbock's disease. A rare disease that affects the lunate bone in the wrist. The bone dies from lack of blood flow. Her disease is at stage 4 which means the bone is dead and crumbling. There is no cure but surgery may eliviate some of the pain with some loss of motion. Fortunately it is her non-dominant hand. She has to have an MRI to determine which surgery option will be used. She will probably plan for surgery during one of her school breaks.

We're All Falling Apart!

Just the way you are!

2011-08-02T10:22:00.003-05:00

I’m full of self-deprecation today. I am trying to be keenly aware of just how powerful my words can be. They can lift someone up or they can tear down an already fragile confidence.

Sometimes in my frustration I respond to my brother in what might seem to him, a condescending tone. His rituals at times make me react in a way that doesn’t sound very supportive. He has a routine that never varies and he adheres to adamantly. When he called last night at 7:30 on the dot to speak to Ron I had to tell him Ron had not gotten home from work. I told Mike that as soon as Ron arrived I would have him call him. Mike’s response was, “I take my pills at 8:00”.

With a tone of frustration, I responded, “OK, what does that have to do with Ron calling you back? You can still answer the phone can’t you?” Then I proceeded to go into a lecture about how the world won’t spin off its axis if he takes his pills at 8:15 rather than 8:00, etc. etc. etc.

I could almost hear my brother’s spirit wilt under the heat of my sharp tongue. I knew that I had failed to really listen to what my brother was telling me and to put myself in his world.

What Mike was really saying when he said, “I take my pills at 8:00” is…..

*I must take my pills at the same time every day for fear that I will forget them….

*I’m afraid that if I miss a pill I will have a psychotic episode and begin hearing, “The voices”.

*I’m fighting for my sanity!

*I need my routine in order to feel safe!

I was feeling really bad after I hung up the receiver because I realized my expectations are too high. I have to understand that it takes him longer to express himself, that sometimes he does sound goofy, that I have to accept him as he is……..love him as he is…..appreciate him as he is.

Within a few minutes my phone rang again. Mike began by saying, “I have to confess, I told you a white lie.” I said, “Really? Do you want to tell me what it was?”

After a slight pause Mike answered, “I don’t remember.”

Then it was my turn to confess. I told him I was sorry for not really listening to him. I validated his fear and told him he is doing a great job of keeping himself well. But, mostly I just said, “I love you, just the way you are.”

STAYING COOL UNDER THE HEAT DOME

2011-08-01T10:16:00.005-05:00

With temperatures above 109 this week a person has to do what a person has to do! This is absolutely miserable! We have had 38 days so far with above 100 temps. and more are expected. We will most definitely break our record of 50. It is beginning to impact everyone's mood and I've never looked forward to snow and ice more than now.

Ice cream Truck in Oklahoma

A Dream of a Product!

2011-07-31T20:10:00.002-05:00

Rice Dream.....it worked! He loved it and now having a milk alternative opens up quite a few food options for Mike. The vanilla flavor was great for cereal (Rice Checks) and he loved that. Then I made beef stroganoff and used the regular Rice Dream and though it wasn't as rich as the original recipe it was good and Mike loved it. So for anyone with an allergy to milk you might give Rice Dream a try!

Cooking and Allergies

2011-07-28T13:22:00.000-05:00

My attempt to find recipes that my brother can eat is becoming an increasingly difficult struggle. The list of allergies makes it hard and then throw in his aversion to chickens and it only gets harder.

Mike is allergic to all dairy. No milk, no cheese. Thank goodness he can eat eggs.

He is allergic to grains such as soy, wheat, oats, etc. Rice hasn't seemed to bother him so far.

He's allergic to tomatoes.

So finding a recipe that doesn't contain something on the list is really hard. Casseroles almost always call for milk or cheese.

I'm going to try Rice Dream (dairy alternative) and see if he has a reaction. My luck he won't have a reaction but he just won't like the taste. But, even if he doesn't want to drink it I might be able to use it as a dairy substitute in a recipe or two.

I'm also looking for a non-dairy sour cream alternative. So far, no luck. If you know of something that is non soy and non dairy let me know.

I found this recipe that may work.
Meatball Stew
1/2 - 1 lb ground beef
2 carrots
1 large potato
1 onion
3 (1 ounce) packets McCormick's brown gravy mix)
2 teaspoons Season-All salt, to taste.

Cube the potato, pieces should be smaller than dice size.
Slice the carrots or use a bag of baby carrots instead.
Dice the onion
Place all vegatables in a 2.5 quart oven safe crock (with lid) Leave 2 inches of space at the top.
Roll beef into balls. No larger than 3/4 inches in diameter.
Gently put the meatballs on top of the beggies to avoid crushing them
Heat the oven to 400 degrees
Follow instructions on the gravy packets to make 3 cups of grave.
When gravy is done, stir in some Season All to taste and put it slowly into the crock. Make sure meatballs are covered.
Cover with lid and bake for 1 - 1.5 hours. Open and gently stir occassionally.
(You may want to put a piece of foil or foiled covered cookie sheet on the rack below, as this tends to drip over once it begins to boil.)

Maybe this will work!!!!!!!!!!! I welcome any recipes!

We are remotely lazy!

2011-07-27T09:22:00.001-05:00

Oh my gosh......we lost the remote last night and then we couldn't figure out how to change the channel without it. I mean there wasn't a button or dial anywhere obvious on that TV. This resulted in a full out search party to find the remote. What have we come to as a society? We have become button pushing blithering idiots that surf the tv like California tide riders. It's hopeless! Oh......we finally found the remote.....it was in the freezer right where I left it~