Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tuesday update

I worked yesterday and had a late meeting.  I only saw Ron yesterday morning but he said he was doing fine. 

I found out last night that Mike got tangled up in his sheets and fell out of bed.  He called 911 and when the EMT's and the police came they saw all Mike's bruises from his previous fall and suspected abuse.  Fortunately Butch was able to tell them what had happened and that we took Mike to the ER for treatment.  We have to fill out a report but the officers said Mike needs to be in a nursing home.  I think we are all in agreement about that but Mike is refusing.  The one thing I know is that if he is resistent and acts out or becomes physically aggressive they will not keep him.  So I'm not sure if that is the right way to go at this time.  I'm going to wait to see what the doctor tells us.

Then to top everything off Mike had another bowel accident last night.  This time Butch got to deal with it and see first hand what Ron and I have been dealing with. 

I'm feeling completely caught in the middle.  Ron is worried about me and therefore getting very resentful of Mike.  Butch is angry with Mike and I feel torn.... I want what is best for Mike but I don't know how to get it.  I was so worried last night I only slept 2 hours.  I still have a job to worry about, Ron to worry about and Mike. 

The removed Ron's last chest tube today.  He may come home tomorrow.  I have to get ready both at work and at home. 

Wish me luck!


Olga said...

I don't suppose it would help to tell Mike that the police want him to go to the nursing home to give it some authority?

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Deb said...

What a difficult position to be in!

Is Mike rational enough to be talked into going into a care facility on a *temporary basis* while Ron recovers?

If he becomes violent in care he may need a sedative to make him easier to manage. This is a common problem and a difficult decision to make but violence is a stage many dementia patients go through.

Is there a social worker at the hospital who could help you and provide support as you look for a long-term solution for Mike?

Big hugs from Canada,

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